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Thread: Need advice from folks with multiple cats

  1. #1
    Super Member virtualbernie's Avatar
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    I started out with one cat (Iggie). She does not like to be inside but the rules in our area is that cats cannot roam loose. Well somehow she got out and we didn't see her for 3/4 months. We gave up hope that we'd ever see her again so we went to the shelter and got 2 brothers (Sam and BabyBoy). Not one month later she pops up and of course she "hates" the boys! I tried keeping them in my bedroom together with me so they could get to know one another but all that happened was she stayed behind my dresser not coming out to eat or drink. I felt so sorry for her I put food and water behind the dresser with her. Finally after a while, I gave up (started to smell up my room and when I investigated I realized she wasn't sneaking out to use the litter box either!) Took her to the vet who gave her meds to calm her down but that didn't work. Now her domain is in the basement with her own food and water and litterbox. I feel so bad for her because we only use the basement to do laundry so she doesn't get a lot of interaction. Lately she's started to scratch at the door but when you open it up she runs back downstairs. Every so often I leave the door open hoping she'll come up on her own but that only allows the "boys" to go down and harrass her and I really don't need the "poop" thing again :?

    Is there anything I can do?

  2. #2
    Senior Member Liz aka Helen's Avatar
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    I've got 9 cats and the only advice that I can say is give her time but you are going to have to let the boys harass her so that she will fight back and state her status. Let the fur fly as they say. She will let them know when she has had enough, believe me....ask me how I know....lol

  3. #3
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    I had three cats and they never got to like each other.

    My mom had several, and several of them snuggled.

    Hope they work things out between themselves.

  4. #4
    Super Member jrhboxers's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Liz aka Helen
    I've got 9 cats and the only advice that I can say is give her time but you are going to have to let the boys harass her so that she will fight back and state her status. Let the fur fly as they say. She will let them know when she has had enough, believe me....ask me how I know....lol
    Exactly what she ^^^^ said. She has to 'prove' her position in the household. To the boys she is an intruder, to her the boys are intruders - sad to say - they are just going to have to fight it out. If you can, catch each of them and trim their nails. That will help with 'collateral' damage. They will work it out.

  5. #5
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    Super Member dd's Avatar
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    Wow a lot of MD people on this site!
    I tried to tell my big girl that she used to be the new, tiny kitty one time too and she needed to give him a chance. He didn't understand why she was so mean to him. She quickly smacked me on both sides of my face and told me in no uncertain terms that she didn't want to hear that. Well, they snuggle now and they groom each other but when they are done they hiss and they leave each other alone. I never had blood or vet bills. They will work it out for themselves. I know you want to try to make everything right for them but remember they are animals. Thats why you have the opposable thumbs, to do the quilting.lol

  6. #6
    Super Member kwhite's Avatar
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    Ok I had a similar situation with my "butt head" cat and the new littel girl I got to keep him company. They hated each other or more accuratly he hated her. She spent all of the time in my lap or in hiding to stay away from him. The way I solved this was by accident. They both needed to go to the vet and so my daughter and I took them. I had one and she had the other. Well the whole vet thing throws them for a loop anyway and this time was no diffrent. I had to pay at the end of the visit. We had been keeping them apart the whole time. I gave the little girl to my daughter. I asked her if she thought she could handle them both for a few mins. She thought she could. She put the little girl on top of the bad boy. He was so distracted by the strange surroundings he didn't even seem to notice she was there. When we got home and put them back in their own environment there was no more problem. No hissing or fighting or running. They have gotten along fine ever since. So I say take them to a new surrounding and introduce them all over again. It is worth a try.

  7. #7
    Power Poster Sadiemae's Avatar
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    My cats are gone now, but I had a male and a female. They never did like each other, but kind of ignored each other.

  8. #8
    Senior Member thomp116's Avatar
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    I have five, but they've always been together so they get along pretty well. Every so often there is some hissing and growling, maybe a couple scratches, but nothing to be alarmed over.

  9. #9
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    I vote to let them all roam free. They will eventually create their own heirarchy. There will occasionally be squabbles when they attempt to change positions.

  10. #10
    Power Poster sueisallaboutquilts's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by deedee75
    I vote to let them all roam free. They will eventually create their own heirarchy. There will occasionally be squabbles when they attempt to change positions.
    Yeah, I have to agree with this one. It's what worked for our five. They're fine now, sometimes a little squabble but nothing to worry about. I give them all a lot of love and let them work out the rest by themselves :)

  11. #11
    Senior Member aliaslaceygreen's Avatar
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    Since I am in the middle of CHAOS right now with my three, I am reading along, hoping someone can come up with a solution that works for me, too!!

    ((( I have Gandolph (an older diabetic) Rory, AKA Mr. Crankypants) and Tatiana (AKA Her Royal Bitchiness.) have all been to the vet and declared healthy. Rory and Tati have both spent a few days at 'sleep-away camp' (boarding at the vet) and while one has been gone Gandolph and the other have been allowing peace and harmony to reign at the Greenhouse.

    Now, all three are back together, and we KNOW that someone is peeing out of frustration or to prove a point, not from a medical issue.

    Which of the two would you guys think is the most obvious choice to be medicated? And if you have had a cat on an anti-anxiety or chill out pill, what have you used? Rory is the younger, he is a clown and high energy. He is VERY interested in becoming friends with Tatiana. He STALKS her, he wants to be NEAR her. Tatiana is about 10, she is a hisser, she isn't as lovely-dovey kind of animal.

    Also, it's not possible to separate them in different parts of the house. There are doors only on the bathroom and the bedrooms, and they are not allowed in two of the three bedrooms because of peeing issues. But. We need to end this peeing thing. It's got to stop. If both should be on something, so be it, but something must give. Tati was here first, Gandolph and Rory came together a year and a half ago, and this has been an issue for about 7 months...

    I wouldn't care if they carried on, hissed and swatted and fought, I get that...its the peeing that is making me nuts!)

  12. #12
    Super Member mimom's Avatar
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    get a dog.... that will put the boys in there place and all cats will be on even playing field, them vs the dog.

  13. #13
    Super Member Favorite Fabrics's Avatar
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    I know that frustration! We had three female cats (all spayed) and then this male stray, Tom, comes along and, well, he had some tomcat war wounds and I felt sorry for him and you know where this is going... we took him to the vet, got him treated and neutered, brought him home and...

    Midnight, the alpha cat at the time, HATED him. In truth, she hates all male cats, because once upon a time she got knocked up and nearly died trying to feed her five kittens. (Someone took her to the SPCA, the kittens went into foster care, and we adopted her.) But she's had it in for males ever since.

    So, she and Tom - we think it was those two - got into the whole peeing thing. On rugs. On the couch. On an empty pedestal cake plate. (Why??) On the pillow on my bed. In our shoes. Geez!

    We decided that we had to lock Tom in the cellar. They simply had to be separated. In the end, my Mom adopted Tom and he never once did anything inappropriate in her house. But, he's the only cat there...

    As to figuring out who did the peeing... bring in the innocent and/or guilty parties, one at a time, and out of sight of the others. The innocent will sniff it out, because they want to know what happened. The guilty will show no interest, because they already know about it.

    The best cleanup product we ever found was "Stink Free Stain and Odor Urine Remover".

    Good luck! It's maddening, isn't it?

  14. #14
    Power Poster sueisallaboutquilts's Avatar
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    Trish, have you tried those plug-in things that release synthetic pheromones?? They are expensive but really helped calm mine down when we got Katie. I used them for about a year, then gradually took them away. They really worked.
    Also, my son got the spray and when he sprays the room his cat calms right down (he just got a new puppy and the cat got nervous)

  15. #15
    Super Member virtualbernie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sueisallaboutquilts
    Trish, have you tried those plug-in things that release synthetic pheromones?? They are expensive but really helped calm mine down when we got Katie. I used them for about a year, then gradually took them away. They really worked.
    Also, my son got the spray and when he sprays the room his cat calms right down (he just got a new puppy and the cat got nervous)
    Where can I get the plug in things or even the spray? I'm desperate!!!!!!!!!!!!

  16. #16
    deedee75's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by virtualbernie
    Quote Originally Posted by sueisallaboutquilts
    Trish, have you tried those plug-in things that release synthetic pheromones?? They are expensive but really helped calm mine down when we got Katie. I used them for about a year, then gradually took them away. They really worked.
    Also, my son got the spray and when he sprays the room his cat calms right down (he just got a new puppy and the cat got nervous)
    Where can I get the plug in things or even the spray? I'm desperate!!!!!!!!!!!!
    You can get them at pet stores or online. Online is cheaper, of course.

    Here's one online store.
    http://www.cheappetstore.com/search/...x=0&submit.y=0

  17. #17
    Power Poster Jingle's Avatar
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    My four all get along. Oldest is a feral cat. about 15 Yo, Two are the same age, going on 11 YO. Youngest is going on 5 or 6 YO. all declawed and neutered. The 2 eleven year olds fought the 1st week they were together, that was it. Other than a spat now and then they all get along.
    I hope you find an answer to your problem.

  18. #18
    Power Poster sueisallaboutquilts's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by virtualbernie
    Quote Originally Posted by sueisallaboutquilts
    Trish, have you tried those plug-in things that release synthetic pheromones?? They are expensive but really helped calm mine down when we got Katie. I used them for about a year, then gradually took them away. They really worked.
    Also, my son got the spray and when he sprays the room his cat calms right down (he just got a new puppy and the cat got nervous)
    Where can I get the plug in things or even the spray? I'm desperate!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Petsmart! And then if you like it order more from Ebay- much better pricing!

  19. #19
    Super Member OHSue's Avatar
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    We had the same thing happen. When our first cat came back home we couldn't leave the two of them in a room together. We just took to putting one of them in the basement at night, we alternated the two of them so neither would see on area as their domain. It took about six months before they were at least 'cordial', but they never became friends. The second cat was never as friendly even with us after that happened.

  20. #20
    Power Poster earthwalker's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by deedee75
    I vote to let them all roam free. They will eventually create their own heirarchy. There will occasionally be squabbles when they attempt to change positions.
    Yep...just throw everyone into the mix and they'll work it out, stress and fuss over them and they'll run amok. A lot of the hissing and snarling never amounts to a great deal (sounds worse than it is).

    Apparently the plug in pheremone things are really good (vets here recommend them) and investing in some enzyme based cleanser for the pee'ers should help, then after cleansing dab some lavender oil around (they hate the smell of lavender). They also do not do well sharing litter boxes so a few extras may be in order.

  21. #21
    Power Poster Sadiemae's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by aliaslaceygreen
    Since I am in the middle of CHAOS right now with my three, I am reading along, hoping someone can come up with a solution that works for me, too!!

    ((( I have Gandolph (an older diabetic) Rory, AKA Mr. Crankypants) and Tatiana (AKA Her Royal Bitchiness.) have all been to the vet and declared healthy. Rory and Tati have both spent a few days at 'sleep-away camp' (boarding at the vet) and while one has been gone Gandolph and the other have been allowing peace and harmony to reign at the Greenhouse.

    Now, all three are back together, and we KNOW that someone is peeing out of frustration or to prove a point, not from a medical issue.

    Which of the two would you guys think is the most obvious choice to be medicated? And if you have had a cat on an anti-anxiety or chill out pill, what have you used? Rory is the younger, he is a clown and high energy. He is VERY interested in becoming friends with Tatiana. He STALKS her, he wants to be NEAR her. Tatiana is about 10, she is a hisser, she isn't as lovely-dovey kind of animal.

    Also, it's not possible to separate them in different parts of the house. There are doors only on the bathroom and the bedrooms, and they are not allowed in two of the three bedrooms because of peeing issues. But. We need to end this peeing thing. It's got to stop. If both should be on something, so be it, but something must give. Tati was here first, Gandolph and Rory came together a year and a half ago, and this has been an issue for about 7 months...

    I wouldn't care if they carried on, hissed and swatted and fought, I get that...its the peeing that is making me nuts!)
    Are you sure that one of them is not spraying out of frustration? When I had my Burmese(sp?) she would spray if anything upset her. I called her my Statue Cat, because she was to be seen and admired-but as far as she was concerned 'DON'T TOUCH'! The odor is far stronger if they spray than if they urinate.

  22. #22
    Power Poster Sadiemae's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sueisallaboutquilts
    Quote Originally Posted by virtualbernie
    Quote Originally Posted by sueisallaboutquilts
    Trish, have you tried those plug-in things that release synthetic pheromones?? They are expensive but really helped calm mine down when we got Katie. I used them for about a year, then gradually took them away. They really worked.
    Also, my son got the spray and when he sprays the room his cat calms right down (he just got a new puppy and the cat got nervous)
    Where can I get the plug in things or even the spray? I'm desperate!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Petsmart! And then if you like it order more from Ebay- much better pricing!
    Do they make something like this for dogs? It is almost time for the 4th of July celebrations to begin, and I don't look forward to my Molly and the fireworks. I don't like giving her medication, but I will if I have to.

  23. #23
    Super Member Rose_P's Avatar
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    I have had three cats at a time, and I remember when we introduced the 3rd (a male) to the 2 females who were good friends, they did not welcome him at all. They eventually lived peaceably, but the one absolute rule that they followed was that they would not share a litter pan with him. It's important to provide an extra litter pan, or maybe 3, as far apart as possible, so that the girl kitty can avoid where the boys go. I don't know why, but they seem to have rules about this and are not interested in our opinion.

    Those 3 cats lived together for 13 years. The two females remained friends but always kept their distance from the male. All of my cats were altered - always.

    I currently have 2 females and after a couple of days of mild resentment the older kitty started grooming the kitten. They use the same litter pan with no complaint. The younger cat keeps the older cat's whiskers trimmed short, which drives me nuts. I think that's what's going on in my avatar picture.

  24. #24
    Super Member virtualbernie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rose_P
    I have had three cats at a time, and I remember when we introduced the 3rd (a male) to the 2 females who were good friends, they did not welcome him at all. They eventually lived peaceably, but the one absolute rule that they followed was that they would not share a litter pan with him. It's important to provide an extra litter pan, or maybe 3, as far apart as possible, so that the girl kitty can avoid where the boys go. I don't know why, but they seem to have rules about this and are not interested in our opinion.
    My girl has her own litterpan but when the boys get downstairs, they eat her food and poop in her pan! I think they know it irritates her :-) . They know how to open the basement door and actually wait until I'm asleep to sneek down. She won't use the litterpan anymore until I dump all the litter out and put fresh in.

  25. #25
    Super Member girlsfour's Avatar
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    I agree - have at least three litterboxes.

    Cats just do not get along with each other unless they are raised together.

    I would think they will eventually tolerate each other, but your original cat will probably never be really happy with the other two cats there.

    I believe male cats - neutered or not are always attracted to female cats. So that being said, your male cats will probably always somewhat harass your female cat.

    It is amazing to hear that your cat was gone for so long and then came home. Someone must have taken her in. You ended up being stuck between a rock and a hard place now.

    Cats just seem to act out by spraying. I guess I would try to maybe contain the males sometimes so the female gets a little freedom. Block the basement door maybe?

    Keep us animal lovers updated....

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