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Thread: Pay it Forward disappointment

  1. #26
    Super Member Olivia's Grammy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DebraK
    Maybe she paid it forward to someone else. It's not called pay you back ;-)
    Thank you for that thought. It's not always about me. I had a bad experience and that thought just made me rethink it. Hopefully the lady I helped did pay it foward and not backward. Thanks.

  2. #27
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    I just assume people PIF if possible and we rarely know. I believe we should give with a happy heart and it sounds like that is what you intended. Imagine researching to find a family member - how awesome are you. That was such a neat idea.

    I will say I have only been on the board here a few months and have sent fabric, patterns, scraps, etc. to probably 10 people now. Only 1 has offered to pay the postage. I was not offended as no where in the request did they mention they would pay postage they just asked if anyone had any to spare. I hope I've never accidently offended anyone because honestly if someone I did not know contacted me and offered to send me something it would never occur to me to offer her the postage back. I'll remember that for the future though.

  3. #28
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    Not sure if you have a military base locally but if so just for future reference to everyone - you can take the info to the base office and they will attempt to locate the soldier. I did that with items from my grandfather. We live MacDill AFB.

    Quote Originally Posted by Ramona Byrd
    Quote Originally Posted by momcpo
    Good for you, don't worry about other people. Some just don't get it.
    --------------------------------------
    And most of the young don't get it either.
    In de-cluttering, I found some personal papers of 3 GIs who had, on being discharged, given my ExDH (now deceased) to keep tlll they called for them. One I finally found after looking on the internet, and found his only child, a son who must be about nearing or past his 50s, and sent them to him as I found them. I did get thanks by email, finally, after the last big postal envelope, but at no time did he even mention repaying me the 30 or so dollars it cost to send all these military records and masses of his family members' pictures. Even a marriage lic for his parents. Well, I guess that I did it as a final favor to my ex.
    The other two, unfortunately, had very common names and I finally forced myself to take them to the community shredding we have every year. Sad, there were so many photos and personal papers, but no way to find either one of these after nearly 50 or so years. Didn't even have any military numbers on them, that would have made it easier.
    But should I find any more in the storage building still to be gone through from this guy's dad, I will send it to him, with maybe a suggestion that he pay it forward. But like I said, it's a last favor for my ex. RIP Billy Bob H.

  4. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by bearisgray
    If you want/need/expect postage to be paid, it's better to ask for it up front.

    I can relate to how you feel, though.

    At least the person remembered to thank you!

    Now I am a bit puzzled - if you didn't want postage/shipping - and would have refused it if offered - why are you annoyed/disappointed that the person didn't offer to reimburse you for it?
    I wondered about this too. And I wonder why you assume the PIF chain was broken.

  5. #30
    Super Member valsma's Avatar
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    Linda, you may never know if she pays it forward. Take pride in the fact that your took the time and expence to find and mail what is part of her family's history to her.
    You did a good thing.

  6. #31
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    Not sure if you have a military base locally but if so just for future reference to everyone - you can take the info to the base office and they will attempt to locate the soldier. I did that with items from my grandfather. We live MacDill AFB.
    --------------------------------------------------
    Sadly, our long time Castle Air Force Base closed in the 90s.
    And I spent a lot of time going through all the pictures and letters, which unfortunately had no envelopes with return addresses on them. After 50 or so years it was just too much to try to find someone with a rather common name of Smith..one of my aunts married a Smith and she said they almost had to carry a marriage license with them when checking into hotels!!!
    Should I find more papers in my late DH's still uncleaned out small outbuilding den, I'd take them to a local VFW and see if they could have some luck with them. That is, if there were no numbers or addresses and they weren't common names with litterly millions of people with the same one.

  7. #32
    Super Member QuiltingNinaSue's Avatar
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    We taught our children to forward acts of kindness, and accept/expect nothing back in payment. So in PIF, and in due time, it multiplys its self back to you.

    An Air Force buddy found my husband last month; they have not had contact since service days of 1969. Now they have email and addresses exchanged. Never is a long time; surprises are just around the next corner!!

  8. #33
    Power Poster MadQuilter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Linda71
    I emailed her and offered to send her the book.
    You OFFERED! No PIF required.

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