If family members are feeling that your actions are too severe, perhaps they are part of this 8 y/o's problems. If they continuously make excuses for him and don't hold him responsible for his actions, of course they will be uncomfortable with what you did. I hope you have an impact on this childs life, if not he will grow up to be a spoiled, entitled adult! We don't need anymore of those in society!!

I think it was the right thing to do! I agree children need to learn there are consequences to their actions. Way to go Grandma!! :thumbup: :thumbup:

a child needs to know there are consequences to their actions when our grand son took his sisters nickles and put them all in his jar grandpa took and devided it between the girls GS said that'd not fair GP said he would have to earn them back they were too little do do much of anything but GP found things for them to do

No, you were right, kids need to know there are consequences. Too many find this out after they get into serious trouble. You did the right thing, stand your ground.

OMG! Flack...why? I would have made him pay for cost of the toy...he only had $5.00...he would have had to work off the $10.00...you did good..hopefully, he will have learned a valuable lesson.

Excellent choice - I think there are more ways to teaching and disciplining than paddling or time out. Big deal, you rub your sore bottom or get out of the corner and it's over. What you taught him was to have respect for someone else's property because everything has a cost attached.

I agree with mommamac. An eight year old is old enough to learn that we need to make restitution when we cause loss to others.

I think he should pay all of it back. Installments are certainly acceptable. My sister did the very same thing to her son. (She also put the money in his account without telling him) He learned that actions have consequences. Some consequences are painful. Good for you.

I asked my 8 yr old grandson, and he said the boy should have been a)spanked (he isn't) b)grounded and c) made to work to buy a new toy for his brother. He thought just giving him money didn't count as punishment for being mean.

In my job I work with children whose behaviour is challenging. They often get caught in situations where their frustration has boiled up into anger and their actions appear very deliberately designed to antagonize others. Once the emotions have blown over, I help them deal with restitution by making the comparison to housecleaning. We all make messes, and we all have to clean up after ourselves. It's not always pleasant but a job that must be done. They accept the idea that the anger was messy and it depersonalizes the event so they are not bad kids. Anger is a normal human emotion so I don't want to teach them not to be angry, but how to be angry in a way that doesn't offend or hurt others.

I totally agree with this comment. He is old enough to know better, and he is also old enough to know about consequenses for his actions. My son is 9, and iis autistic and he knows the difference, and he also understands the concept of money. I think you have tought him a valuable lesson to think before he acts.

i don't think it was to harsh! It's just teaching them to be responsible.

I think you did the right thing too. He needs to know that stuff isnt free, if he wrecks things later in life, he will have to pay!

I have to agree with the rest, children need to learn..thats whats wrong with so many of them, parents dont know how to be parents anymore....good ole fashion punishment is what kids today need. I wonder what the worls is going to be like in a few years when they kids become adults !!!

Good for you!!! You taught him a life lesson...be responsible for your actions. Too many kids are not learning that.

Great job! You did the right thing in teaching this valuable lesson.

OK the fact that hes 8 and had a tantrum is completely unacceptable.. Sounds like the parents need "parenting School' to help guide him..

As for your lesson. wasn't harsh enough..

Time out - alone in a room-without an audience
a 'job' to pay for the cost of the replaced item
and grounding would of been just a few actions I would of done, but better believe there would of been more consequences when we got home!!!

I think you made a correct decision. We are all responsible for our actions, and they have consequences.

it really isn't the rest of the family's business. doesnt sound to strong to me. he'll think about it before he acts that way again and that's what you want. (of course, its none of my business either!)

I have an 8 year old. He is autistic but aware enough that, that behavior will not be tolerated. The only way he will learn is if you teach him. Children need to know there are consequences for their actions. There is a lot of not taking responsiblity for their actions going around now days. Parents, and Grandparents are there to teach their children.

I dont think your punishment was too much. He is old enough to know better. I say "WAY TO GO GRANDMA!!"

you did fine.

when my oldest was very small i had to move back in with my parents after my divorce. no job, no skills, etc. my mom kept my son while i went back to school and found a job. i figured she'd done all right by me (i didn't blame my parents for my stupid teenage rebellion that got me into this mess to start with.) so i never commented when she disciplined him. he is 21 now and they have a very special relationship. he is a fine young man and did not inherit my "stupid" phase. my mom and i always backed each other up on his discipline and it seems to have worked well.

i think you did a good thing with your gs and i am sure he will remember it.

I think you did the right thing.

I agree with your decision to make him compensate his little brother. I would wait a while to give him his $5.00 back, or he may be thinking, OK, I act sorry, I make amends and then I get my $$ back. Win!

You should have gotten praised! And so should he; just for the fact that he accepted his 'consequenses'!

I think it was the proper response. Only I would have made him pay the whole thing and he wouldn't get the money back. Real life doesn't work that way. My son was about that age when he decided money grew on trees. I got a bunch of $1 bills, piled up the household bills and had him pay them from the stack. Well he soon learned that it didn't even come close. No more asking for money. :-)
I got a lot of flack for making my kids learn the reality of life . Like nothing in life is free. No chores no allowance. And allowance was only for extra chores. Not everyday ones.

Good Job!I think you did the right thing.
I have 3 boys and that's how it works here. You break something of someone else's you are expected to replace or make compensation for it.
My only question is why would you give the money back to the child who broke it? I don't believe that would be postive re-enforcement(my opinion only). If anybody, would get it back (in my mind) it would be the child who's toy was broken who should be the recipient (not the one who broke it) so they could put it towards another.

good with my judgment. only 2 grandbabies but 3 younger sibs and have cared for hundreds of kids in my 58 years. I would done same. as long as you explained something about not doing something mean in anger, so the point was not lost. an 8-year-old darned well has a clue he is being mean. crappy parents to not have leaped on this immediately. unpunished, this kind of behavior tends to get worse in my experience. good luck

I think you did very well, and it seems fair to me. Our grands are 7 and 4. The 7 yo broke one of the 4 yo Christmas toys. He said it was an accident, I wasn't there, so can't say (but I doubt it was). It was not destroyed, but damaged. The rule was if Mom can fix it, only an apology is needed. If Mom can't fix it, he has to give up one of his Christmas toys to compensate. There was no big scene made, just talk about actions and consequences.

same with me and my daughter, even when little, some "allowance" and some earned money, both based on chores and expectations for daily life.

8 years old,well lets just say you were way easier on him than I would have been. And as far as catching flack from others ,hmmmm lets just say they will be sorry for letting bad behavior slide when he is a teen...

How can they learn if they are not taught that there are consequences for our actions! Good for you!

Good grandma. They have to lear to take responsibility. I am from the old school. Work on the bottom and a light will connect in the top.

I probably would have taken him to the store with his piggy bank and made him purchase another toy for his brother so he would see how much things cost and that you shouldn't break things just because you are angry. If he didn't have that much money, then I would have made him work for the rest by doing chores for you and your hubby until the amount of the purchase was satisfied. We don't make our kids accountable for their actions and that makes them rotten!

Way to go Grandma. I would also make him keep the toy that he broke. Tell him that is now his and his younger brother now gets one of his that is not broken.

I think you did the right thing - actions have consequences - too often I have had students who don't understand this and parents who wished they had listened.

I was a foster parent for 12 years. I worked side by side with experts as I took difficult children, because I took them only one or two at a time, and did not have any of my own children. I think what you did was great! I would have gone farther and expected the whole $15.

And PS This child may need some professional Help, if this happens more than once.

I agree completely. We have too many people that think they can get away with anything. Parents have a duty to teach their children how to behave and that actions, good or bad, have consequences. Some of which they may not like.

I agree with the other responses here. You did the right thing! It will teach your GS to think before he acts, and that his actions have consequences. But I would not give his $5 back! That would negate the lesson. Good job, gramma!