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I was 31 when I got married ... so no ... you enjoy your life, wait for the right guy ... the one who holds your hand, opens doors, treats you right and with respect ... listens to you ... and helps you ... and when the time is right you will know it.
Don't rush ...time is precious ... enjoy it! |
Your friend's mother should have more sense.
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please don't let others influence your decision on this, there is absolutely nothing wrong with not being married at your age. Case in point: Son (now 31) and daughter now 24, both married before 21....one is divorced and the other one is seperated and about to be divorced.
Take your time, there is no rush..live your life, enjoy figuring out who you are and who you want to spend the rest of your life together with. |
The lady was probably just trying to make conversation - that's what we old(er) people do sometimes. I really don't think she was trying to be rude. Sometimes people just "don't think" before putting their mouths in gear.
I think "expected marrying age" changes from time to time - If one wants to be married at 21 - fine. If one does not want to be married at 21 - that is also fine. We are so fortunate that females now have so many more choices about how to live their lives. |
I don't think that anyone should get married before 25. LOL You'll know when the right person shows up, but don't let anyone push you into marriage.
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when someone asks you that, just laugh and say "Why would I want to tie myself down when I am having so much FUN!!!"
I agree totally with pocoellie. When the time is right, you will know it. Just wait until you do get married, then you will get the nosy questions about "When are you going to have a baby?" Then when you do have one, "When are you going to have another one?" Let's face it, there is no end of nosy people in the world. |
I know what you mean! I'm 23 and just have a boyfriend. A couple friends of mine around my age got knocked up and married before they were old enough to drink! Most of my friends are either married, married with kids, getting married, or at least have a boyfriend. I'm in no rush to get married and don't plan on children until I'm at least 25. I want to live my life. I have seen the downsides to having children (as well as the upsides) from the friends who have had kids and its a lifestyle I do not want right now. These friends had goals and then they got pregnant right after graduating and these dreams are either broken or have went to the back burner. I don't want my dreams on the back burner or broken. I was the one who got on the pill BEFORE having kids (unlike them who thought of birth control only after an unplanned child) so I wouldn't end up that way! As far as the marriage thing goes, I want to find the right guy before doing so. Its a huge deal to get married and people don't seem to realize it changes everything. I've noticed the friends who had kids and married before the age of 20 fight a lot more (one is actually getting divorced). I'm not the type to want to date a guy for 6 months to a year and then get married right away or marry because there's a kid involved.
But I hadn't had a boyfriend for three years and it still SUCKED every single time someone got proposed to and got married. I'm the one who thinks this whole marriage and children thing sensibly yet somehow when I get news someone is getting married I end up feeling like the slow and stupid one of the bunch. Like "What's wrong with me?" or "I'm always going to be the bridesmaid...except only one person has asked me to be one so that's even worse!" Why does the sensible one feel dumb for not rushing into things??? |
Originally Posted by Flying_V_Goddess
I know what you mean! I'm 23 and just have a boyfriend. A couple friends of mine around my age got knocked up and married before they were old enough to drink! Most of my friends are either married, married with kids, getting married, or at least have a boyfriend. I'm in no rush to get married and don't plan on children until I'm at least 25. I want to live my life. I have seen the downsides to having children (as well as the upsides) from the friends who have had kids and its a lifestyle I do not want right now. These friends had goals and then they got pregnant right after graduating and these dreams are either broken or have went to the back burner. I don't want my dreams on the back burner or broken. I was the one who got on the pill BEFORE having kids (unlike them who thought of birth control only after an unplanned child) so I wouldn't end up that way! As far as the marriage thing goes, I want to find the right guy before doing so. Its a huge deal to get married and people don't seem to realize it changes everything. I've noticed the friends who had kids and married before the age of 20 fight a lot more (one is actually getting divorced). I'm not the type to want to date a guy for 6 months to a year and then get married right away or marry because there's a kid involved.
But I hadn't had a boyfriend for three years and it still SUCKED every single time someone got proposed to and got married. I'm the one who thinks this whole marriage and children thing sensibly yet somehow when I get news someone is getting married I end up feeling like the slow and stupid one of the bunch. Like "What's wrong with me?" or "I'm always going to be the bridesmaid...except only one person has asked me to be one so that's even worse!" Why does the sensible one feel dumb for not rushing into things??? |
All of the above. You come first. Enjoy your life.
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Gosh, 21 was old when my Mom was a girl but certainly not in the 21st century!! In fact, I think 21 is really young to get married. That was the age I got married and let me tell you I didn't even know who I was let alone learning about my husband!
We're still married but we sure had a lot of growing pains lol My kids are all still single and they are older than you and I'm glad. They have plenty of time! |
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