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I think that's true for some mature people, but for most, especially now when people are less financially ready at such a young age as our parent were. It was a lot easier for them to find good jobs straight out of college back in the seventies, than it is now, the average age of leaving the nest is now 26. My friends are 28 and still haven't left their parents house
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Originally Posted by ilovequilts
Okay, okay, I am old enough to be married, but what's the rush?! I'm 21 and today I ran into someone I've known for quite a while (a friends mom) and she proceeded to tell me of all my friends that are married, are getting married and says to me "Well Hailee, when's it YOUR turn?"
I wanted to respond rudely, but merely laughed it off...then called my mom and vented about it. Seriously. Is it really that bad that I'm 21 and not yet married? grr... |
Originally Posted by Lady Shivesa
I'm twenty-one as well. DH and I got married in 2009 (I was twenty at the time). I don't regret it for a second, but also realize it's not for everyone!! :)
I don't know the lady who said that to you, but it's quite possible she was just teasing you. I know my family (grandma, mom, sister, etc) constantly ask when we're going to have a baby. I laugh when they ask and enjoy their questions and interest, but tell them it will be at least another year or two! :) |
Originally Posted by bearisgray
Originally Posted by Flying_V_Goddess
I know what you mean! I'm 23 and just have a boyfriend. A couple friends of mine around my age got knocked up and married before they were old enough to drink! Most of my friends are either married, married with kids, getting married, or at least have a boyfriend. I'm in no rush to get married and don't plan on children until I'm at least 25. I want to live my life. I have seen the downsides to having children (as well as the upsides) from the friends who have had kids and its a lifestyle I do not want right now. These friends had goals and then they got pregnant right after graduating and these dreams are either broken or have went to the back burner. I don't want my dreams on the back burner or broken. I was the one who got on the pill BEFORE having kids (unlike them who thought of birth control only after an unplanned child) so I wouldn't end up that way! As far as the marriage thing goes, I want to find the right guy before doing so. Its a huge deal to get married and people don't seem to realize it changes everything. I've noticed the friends who had kids and married before the age of 20 fight a lot more (one is actually getting divorced). I'm not the type to want to date a guy for 6 months to a year and then get married right away or marry because there's a kid involved.
But I hadn't had a boyfriend for three years and it still SUCKED every single time someone got proposed to and got married. I'm the one who thinks this whole marriage and children thing sensibly yet somehow when I get news someone is getting married I end up feeling like the slow and stupid one of the bunch. Like "What's wrong with me?" or "I'm always going to be the bridesmaid...except only one person has asked me to be one so that's even worse!" Why does the sensible one feel dumb for not rushing into things??? |
I believe that maturity is a big factor in getting married. My DH and I were both 22 when we got married. That was 27 years ago and we are still happily married. I have a brother who is 2.5 years older than I am (in his early 50s), single and is STILL not mature enough to be married. We're all different and you need to do what is right for you.
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I have 2 GDs, 21 & 27. The 21
yo isn't married and enjoying herself. Her sister,27, just got married a year ago. What's the rush? Enjoy yourself!!!! You'll know when the right one comes along. Hugs, Sharon |
Originally Posted by jojo47
Originally Posted by bearisgray
Originally Posted by Flying_V_Goddess
I know what you mean! I'm 23 and just have a boyfriend. A couple friends of mine around my age got knocked up and married before they were old enough to drink! Most of my friends are either married, married with kids, getting married, or at least have a boyfriend. I'm in no rush to get married and don't plan on children until I'm at least 25. I want to live my life. I have seen the downsides to having children (as well as the upsides) from the friends who have had kids and its a lifestyle I do not want right now. These friends had goals and then they got pregnant right after graduating and these dreams are either broken or have went to the back burner. I don't want my dreams on the back burner or broken. I was the one who got on the pill BEFORE having kids (unlike them who thought of birth control only after an unplanned child) so I wouldn't end up that way! As far as the marriage thing goes, I want to find the right guy before doing so. Its a huge deal to get married and people don't seem to realize it changes everything. I've noticed the friends who had kids and married before the age of 20 fight a lot more (one is actually getting divorced). I'm not the type to want to date a guy for 6 months to a year and then get married right away or marry because there's a kid involved.
But I hadn't had a boyfriend for three years and it still SUCKED every single time someone got proposed to and got married. I'm the one who thinks this whole marriage and children thing sensibly yet somehow when I get news someone is getting married I end up feeling like the slow and stupid one of the bunch. Like "What's wrong with me?" or "I'm always going to be the bridesmaid...except only one person has asked me to be one so that's even worse!" Why does the sensible one feel dumb for not rushing into things??? I'm not on the pill, I don't need it... I'm not promiscous or even really interested in sex. I don't have a man in my life anyways, so it doesn't matter... My sister is seventeen and has an eight month old. Her and boyfriend are living together in my old room. They have talked about getting married, but they want to wait till they are older, so as to not rush into things and to not get married solely because of the baby. They were talking marriage before the baby anyways. |
Seriously. Is it really that bad that I'm 21 and not yet married? grr...[/quote]
Well, Queen Victoria would be scandalized, but if you are not ready, you are not ready. Do not get married just because of a number. When you find your partner, you will know it is time to make a commitment. Any other reason is the wrong reason. Enjoy your youth, you only get one! :thumbup: P. S. My younger brother married his high school sweetheart when they were both 42! It was a first marriage for both of them! They didn't see each other for almost 20 years. They reconnected on Classmates.com! Like I said, when you find YOUR partner, you will know! |
Both my children are 29 and 30, neither are in a serious relationship and even look like getting married for a long while yet. Meanwhile I am a 'substitute' grandma in waiting :)
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People can say dumb things just to say something. I was 25 when I got married - and I don't even think I was ready then!
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