Our little neighbor (newly married with baby and speaks Spanish) came to visit when I had my surgery. She told us she would bring us outmeal for breakfast the next morning. We thought oookkkk?? Oatmeal?? So she brought it over and it was awesome, she called it Mexican oatmeal. When I asked her how she made it she said, you use creation milk, sugar, cinnamon sticks and oatmeal. My husband said, creation milk? She said, yeah, you know the milk in a can that has the littlle roses on it. She meant Carnation. What a sweetie she is.

Is he related to my DH?? Who says the strangest things in the stage between awake and asleep. I started writing them down. For instance, this one, which he said while his eyes were open:

"Incompetent ferrets run inside the dryer, but still the clothes get done."

I'm ... worried about him!

I had my home for sale and we had an aid that worked with us who was a real dumb blond(but had beautiful black hair). We were all sitting around the table and she said to me,"Have you had any nipples on your house. I asked her what she said and again she asked If I had any nipples on my house. Well by then the girls were holding their sides. I replied no nipples on my house. She just looked at me and said." I am really going to miss you but for your sake I hope you get some nipples soon."

We later told her what she said and she had no idea it was wrong. Still makes me laugh.

My Dad had a French accent. We used to tease him because he said crips instead of crisp. I still say crips now that he is gone. I miss him. He also could not say third with a th. I used to tease him with that one too...I would say turdy tree and a turd for 33 1/3,,,,,cracked me up. He would laugh right along with us.

My husband sometimes miss pronounces words and since he's done it for 60+years, I guess he's going to keep doing it. His entire family mumbles or what my mother used to call, "chewing their words." However, the first time I heard him say the word "wagon" I laughed so hard I almost peed. I kept saying, "Say it again." He'd say, "What? Wangon?" with this confused look on his face. He also pronounces the P and leaves out the N in pnuemonia so it comes out Pamonua! LOL He still says wangon and after 16+ years of marriage I've never gotten used to it--I still laugh.

My Mom used to say that when ever we asked "What's this?" My Grandmother used to say "If wishes were horses then beggars could ride".

I can think of a few.....one day I was washing dishes and my neice came into the kitchen, I said Hi! What's Uncle Ira doing? She replied 'diggin in his nuts'......I looked at her and said as calmly as I could...'what?' She said it again. I calmly walked to our bed room and sure enough he had his hands in his can of cashews! I still laugh about that one.
Another time my friends husband said 'How do I look? I've been using special cream for my hawk eyes' I cracked up!! He meant crows feet!!!! One more....my friend told me that our mutual friend was talking about a pet that his wife wants. 'Mary wants a faggot! But I dont want a faggot because they smell bad and run all over the place. '

Remember the movie moose port? My ddcracks up because everytime I tried to say it it came out moose point!!

When my oldest son was about 4, he was given a Lego set that came with instructions. He called them "constructions", which we thought was logical.

My MIL, when waiting for the car in front of her to realize the light had turned green, will say "Pick any color! If you don't like green, pick a different color and go!"

When my youngest son was about 2 and I would do laundry, he would tell me he was "in of pants", as opposed to being out of pants.

My husband calls apartments "compartments".

When I was a child and my dad would get stuck driving behind someone who was going slow, he would often tell me it was an old man sitting on his hat. I never really understood that one, but one day, while driving with my now-17 year old son, I repeated it, and my son laughed so hard he cried.