nawnee_00

Hang in there. I have (in age order) a son who is studying to become an attorney, another who is a very successful businessman, a daughter who is a dental assistant, a son that is a black hawk pilot, a daughter who is battling a Doctors' mystery diagnosis, and a daughter who is registering to finish her nursing degree. Hopefully the latter two will get there soon. They each thought they had all the answers until they were on their own and found out they were only getting their feet wet so to speak. And yes they have each returned home at one point or another. Mom and Dad are always there for them.

Gwyn

I have had 8 turn 18 now. They are adults, but in Utah they don't get all the privileges until they turn 21. The hardest part was getting my sons to register for the draft. I finally had to put my foot down. They had to register or, I cut off funding for car insurance, and would report them to the sheriff. I don't harbor law breakers. The day I handed them the bill, they were both on the computer getting that registration done on line.

I told mine that we would house, feed, and pay car insurance provided they were participating in keeping the house clean and general upkeep of the yard, and house...& working & saving, working and going to school, or going to school full time. Honestly, Billy and Joey are very close to dealing with having to pay their own car insurance again because they have forgotten the going to school thing. February is the last month I am paying for insurance unless they can show me they are attending and making progress. Right now, they are messing around with lots of excuses.

I have found that the kids actually get tired of all the responsibilities of adulthood pretty quickly. I still have a 23 year old daughter and her 28 year old husband who live with me, but they are following the rules. They are both in school, working, saving, and helping take care of the house. It is a humbling experience to have to move home after getting married.

SandraD

I tell mine: My house, my rules. When you pay the mortgage - you get to make the rules. It works for us!

jnagy1206

I am 14 yrs older than my youngest sister. When she graduated from high school, she moved cross country & moved in with my husand & I and our 3-1/2 & 4 yr old sons. I had an instant 18 yr old daughter. Horrible. Mind you I had not been around her for 8 yrs as I had moved away. But we finally all agreed on some ground rules & the bottom line was that as long as she depended on us for ANY financial support, she was not independent. That included free room & board, food, etc. This was an excellent learning experience for my husband & I, so when our boys got older, it was easier. They had also learned the expectations. We always told them.... your job is to go to school & do the best you can. If you do your job, then we will do ours & provide for them. We have been blessed & they have grown into decent responsible individuals. One is in law school & the other is a Border Patrol Agent.

cherrio

I have 3 girls. the youngest is 17. And thinks she scared me last week by "threatening" to move out. So I made a list of all the bills, big and trivial. Made her a list of allll that needs done around the house on a REGULAR basis and then a list of upkeep, maintanence stuff and the FUN STUFF like clogged, reallly clogged toilets, backed up drains etc. made a copy for her and her just 18 yr old boyfriend. told em when they could afford 3/4 of the bills and groceries; when they learned how to do 1/2 of the chores, repairs etc to come back and I would help em move. ain't heard a peep. I just want her to know that it takes work to live outside of her 4 bedroom walls.

watterstide

BRAVO GWEN! so long as our kids worked and or went to school we paid for half,sometimes all thier car insurance..

they had curfews, no matter how old they were..i had a big ben alarm clock,on the kitchen table, that got set to go off at curfew..it had better not go off,and wake me up, i had to work swing shift in a steel mill. they could not distupt my household,because they were "adults". lol
when they got tired of the rules, they moved out..had room mates that didn't contribute thier fair share..and so i would hear the complaints about thier "friends". they decided they didn't have it so bad after all..they are all grown now..in thier 30's, and are all doing great.

G'ma Kay

When my oldest daughter was 21, she came to visit and I made her a cup of tea. She burst into tears. Out came all the apology for never appreciating me. She now has a 17 year old, I have to remind her that she, too, will mature into a wonderful adult. My youngest daughter told me when she was in her twenties that she was very proud of the way she was raised. My middle daughter says I can come and live with them when I get old. At the time I thought I must have been doing a terrible job of parenting, but now I think I did great!

Ramona Byrd

After parents became total idiots when kids were in their teens, my daughters started calling for ADVICE on their kids. And both told me that when they talked to THEIR kids, they opened their mouths and MY voice came out, saying the same things I'd said to them.

And that my curse had come true....the one that said
"I hope when you have kids they'll be just like YOU!" And they did.

catrancher

In answer to your question: it happened when they were 14. Now they are 30 and 27. They are great people, but I find it more difficult to parent adult children than I did teenagers. All I can do now is watch and hope. Their decisions and the consequences are all their own. Sometimes I ache for the days when I was responsible for their choices,.

judith ann

13 is a disease--- not an age.
It does get better.Our 4 children are now parents and have an idea how hard it really is to be a parent.
judy j