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Thread: scrooge or sensible?

  1. #26
    Senior Member Michellesews's Avatar
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    Sadly people have gotten to the point where they EXPECT a gift. I give if I can, if not I give a card. I have a DD who seems to think the cost of the gift is a 'love gauge'. I'm sorry about that, not sure how that happened except her Dad and I divorced when she was young and he was always bribing her with gifts. The Lord loves a cheerful giver and if I cannot give cheerfully, I don't give at all. The birth of Christ and His magnificent gift of salvation should be gift enough for anyone, in my opinion.
    Michelle Guadarrama

  2. #27
    Super Member Neesie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Diana Lea View Post
    We got rid of our cc years ago. Sometimes but not often do I get somethings on time, like flex pay. I do not enjoy Christmas as much any more. The joy in the kids is great but someone in the family said I did not treat her children the same and she gave money, what she thought was equal. I tried to tell her I didn't buy the gifts my husband did. He gave what he wanted them to have. Not thinking of being equal in money. Everything has changed. They are in town this weekend and I do not want to see them. I am so unhappy. The last time I saw her she thanked me for no drama!
    Life is too short, to let negative people impact your life. If you don't want to see them, then DON'T see them. If you must be around her (for whatever reason), just treat her as you would someone who has had a few too many drinks and 'isn't quite right in the head.' Be polite but start speaking to someone else, if she approaches you.
    Neesie


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  3. #28
    Super Member BettyGee's Avatar
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    Sensible! No more paying off Christmas gifts for six months after, cookies are wonderful but I don't need to be eating them in January and the pleasure I get from making things for my family is all the joy I need.
    BettyGee, quilter on a Rocky Mountain High

  4. #29
    Super Member moonwork42029's Avatar
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    After many years of hearing "I already got that" or "I'm too old for that" we decided that money fits everyone. Now we write 1 check per family, include it in a card and say that's it. We do this for our 5 kids and they all get the same amount regardless how many offspring they have.

    My husband and I do not exchange gifts for any holidays, birthdays or anniversaries. We celebrate each day and do as we wish. We decided long ago that we don't need a "date" to share our love, that we do it all the time.
    Lisa L.
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  5. #30
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    I have learned to stop giving to the children when they are out of high school. That way I can afford to get something for the little ones. Now days when money is so tight you have to do the best you can and running up debt just isn't wise. My biggest gripe is postage. This year they have changed mailing and you have 2 choices, next day or priority. It cost 60.00 to mail 4 pkgs. I am almost at the point of just sending gift cards and I just hate to do that as it takes away the personel part of gift giving.

  6. #31
    Super Member Snooze2978's Avatar
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    My parents grew up during the depression so money was important to them. They worked hard 6 days a week, put money into savings or stocks and was able to retire early in life. Having money didn't make them happy though as they missed out with spending time with the family (kids). My father always told me that if you didn't have the money, you didn't need whatever it was that you wanted. Today that's hard to live by as everything has gotten so expensive and in this system of things, we're taught we can always charge it or take out a loan. Now that I'm retired, I'm trying to get back to the thinking that if I don't have the money to buy it, I don't really need it. Yes, its hard at times but I'm finding it easier to live by those rules. If I quit buying fabric right now I still have enough to use for many years. I find sharing what I have more fulfilling too.

    Making gifts for others shows how much I think of them as I'm taking my time, effort into making the gift. I haven't given a store bought gift in years and most everyone around me know that. I try to make something they can use or enjoy with their likes in mind. If that makes me a Scrooge, so be it.

    If I have more than I need whether its food, clothing, etc. I will share with someone that is in need. That's what the good book asks of us and to do it joyfully, not begrudgingly and not expecting something in return.......and not bragging about it either. Giving should be between you, the receiver and God.

    That's all I have to say on this subject.
    Suz in Iowa
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  7. #32
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    I, too have cut back on giving this year. We are helping our son with some very expensiv dental bills and that has really strapped us. We need to simplify our lives....all of us. In Bible study this week, I heard a great quote. "Remember, it's not you birthday." That has really stuck with me. We are making donations to favorite charities.

  8. #33
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    this year we pared down, hugely. i'm in my second year of retirement. hubby's in his 15th. income is down by 75%. i'm at a place where i really only "need" the necessities of life. my kids are grown, with families of their own. so, no gifts for the grown kids. none for us, please. if you really want to get us something, a roll of stamps is good, or a giant pack of toilet paper! the grandkids will get spoiled, but not to the extent of the past. the oldest are "challenged", so they, too, will get goodies--but again, not like in the past. the babies (both under a year) only want to rip up the paper, anyways--so small gifts, and a check to their folks for the baby bank account. we do charge things, but they are paid off immediately. rule of life: if we can't pay for it, right now, we don't need it. my youngest's opinion is that it's really about family and food, and the celebration of christmas, anyways. i agree. time to take it in hand, and keep it controlled.
    "life is a banquet, and most poor fools are out there, starving to death!"--"auntie mame"

  9. #34
    Super Member mike'sgirl's Avatar
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    I don't see one thing on your list that's unreasonable or Scroogie. They are all sensible.Go for it.

  10. #35
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    Today's manufacturers just want you to spend your money and the REAL reason for Christmas is forgotten, and today's "modern" society goes along with it. I find it utterly stupid to buy gifts by credit and you're still paying for those gifts, years later. As far as I'm concerned, Christmas gifts are for children, so if there's none around in the family, then there's no gifts, we already have the "gift" of life.

  11. #36
    Super Member Caswews's Avatar
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    Like Nessie; we use the credit card to buy then pay it off immediately... But we don't buy the granddaughters the lavish gifts that the other side of the family does (her inlaw family).. we find out what size clothes they need, socks, undies. If they need a new back pack; items like that. We do give the three granddaughters each a 25.00 gift card to their favorite store to buy something they truly want as well.
    We don't like to go into stores carrying alot of monies, and its just a little safer with a card (unless of course you get the card number thief.. then its heck with credit card company!).
    When Life brings big winds of change that almost blows you over.Hang on tight and Believe.
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  12. #37
    Super Member ekuw's Avatar
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    We are spending Christmas with my in-laws. For them, there is no "christ" in christmas. It's just about exchanging gifts. This year I've lowered my amount to spend on each person to about $10. I have realized that I cannot get these people the "perfect" gift with my budget (cash only) so I am just trying to get them something semi-thoughtful. It has reduced my stress level considerably. My kids know we don't have a lot of money; we spend about $200 each on them, and my husband and I just exchange stuff we need like socks and clothes. We are starting to simplify things a little more each year.

  13. #38
    Power Poster ManiacQuilter2's Avatar
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    I think you are being sensible. It is better to pay cash than get too far into debt with the credit card companies !!
    A Good Friend, like an old quilt, is both a Treasure and a Comfort

  14. #39
    Super Member Cogito's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bearisgray View Post
    spending only what one can afford and paying cash for the items?

    deciding (as a group) to donate to a charity instead of participating in a " gift exchange"?

    baking only enough goodies to last until the middle of January?

    committing to only the activities one has enough energy for?

    ( I realize that there are some things one has to do - like it or not - in the interests of family harmony)
    why on earth would any of these reasons lead to being called a Scrooge?
    The expert's mind has no room to learn while the beginner's mind is free to know everything....

  15. #40
    Senior Member Sdwill's Avatar
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    I have gotten a "prepaid" debit card and put the the Christmas $ on it. When it's gone, I better have all the Christmas bought because that's it. No more. DH and I always make sure we buy for our kids first (even though they are grown, we try to buy things they "need"). Then we buy something that our parents "need" such as clothing or replacing something that broke. then if anything else is left, we buy for each other, but it's usually something we "need". I don't need anything else sitting around the house to clutter it up. Oldest DS doesn't really buy us a Christmas gift. He gives us something large that we need during the year. He still lives with us, and last year he bought us a new 50" TV as were still on old analog TV and it was about to go out. That was our Christmas and birthday gifts from him. Youngest DS is still in college and planning a wedding. We try to help him out and get stuff he needs. He doesn't have much under the tree this year, he's doing a lot of work on his house fixing it up so we got him a gift card to Lowes and told him to name a weekend and we'll be up to help him with a project. The future DIL told me that the curtains I made for their house was her Christmas present. I still buy a little something for my nieces and nephews that are under 18 years old, but it's usually kept under $20. After they turn 18, I don't buy for them anymore.
    Sharyl

  16. #41
    Super Member Sandygirl's Avatar
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    Scrooge hated Christmas. I don't get the impression you hate Christmas. My fav movie esp the 1934 version.

    God bless us everyone!

    sandy
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  17. #42
    Super Member Billi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sdwill View Post
    I have gotten a "prepaid" debit card and put the the Christmas $ on it. When it's gone, I better have all the Christmas bought because that's it.
    I love this it's a perfect way to stay on budget. Great idea
    Billi
    It's never too late to have a happy childhood

  18. #43
    Super Member sewingsuz's Avatar
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    I baked about 200 cookies with my hubbies help. Then I made up Cake pans with lids and put my kids and Mother and Brother's name on them and they are in the cold garage until we go. I have some sewing and quilting gifts for some daughters and granddaughter and other toys for my Great grand children. I shared the expense for my grandson to get an Iphone. We did not go in debt. Just paid the card in full. We always do this way. I love to find bargins at thrift stores but some of the kids would not like that. They will find out some day you get more for your money.
    Suzanne
    Asking a seamstress to mend is like asking Picasso to paint your garage.

  19. #44
    Power Poster Boston1954's Avatar
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    My parents only paid cash for presents or anything else their entire lives. I wish that I had followed suit. It is very reasonable. No bills.

    As far as baking, I have not done a lot this year, as Jim is unemployed and we do not want to make the electric bill any worse.
    Life is not a movie. No one is going to yell "CUT" when you make a mistake. - Anne L. Fulton

    I am from the South....39 miles south of Boston.

  20. #45
    Power Poster Boston1954's Avatar
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    Oh and one more thing. When my sister's kids were growing up, I got them presents every year, and not just one each, sometimes 3 or 4. I do not even get a birthday card or emails saying how they are, from either of them.
    Life is not a movie. No one is going to yell "CUT" when you make a mistake. - Anne L. Fulton

    I am from the South....39 miles south of Boston.

  21. #46
    Super Member 0tis's Avatar
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    I have made most of our gifts for the last couple of years - I just use my stash and then purchase more stash as fabric sales come along. So far, my family loves my homemade gifts - I look for free patterns on the internet - this year I made a duffle bag, messenger bag, microwave rice bags (like handwarmers), pajama bottoms, quilts, pillows, and a another purse - the only gifts I purchased were a couple of small gifts for the grandchildren and nephews. I purchased wooden toys that I paid less than $ 10.00 during a craft fair.

  22. #47
    Senior Member Barbshobbies's Avatar
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    When the 5 kids were small, I sewed the girls dresses. No one knew,not even the girls, I sewed at night and cleaned up before anyone got up. We had very little money, so presents were things they needed We were God parents to 8 more. We thought our kids what was important and told them good things would come. When they grew up, they took that advice and now are all doing well. But we kept one thing going even now. Adults who wanted to get a gift and give one, put their name in a hat at Thanksgiving, and took out a different one,, we all did this, that meant buying one gift at the price we set, and one gift. That way no one went broke & every one got a gift. These daysweall have what we need any way, and still had fun. The children still got small gifts from us grandparents until the parents said if we wanted give money it would be o.k. Now they all have college funds started.

  23. #48
    Super Member notmorecraft's Avatar
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    I am fortunate and have been able to spoil my two sons and my dad this year, that said I don't judge on what I get back, I would rather have something no matter how small, a box of sweets, bottle of wine whatever, someone can afford than they put themselves into debt to buy a present. Christmas is about families, love and spending time together not about spending money.

  24. #49
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    We set a budget and stick to that. The same amount for each person, some people get more presents, some less. But everyone gets what they want, for example, my DIL loves live shows, so we get her a gift certificate at the local theater. She picks the show she and our son want to see, we get to babysit! Our oldest son, who enjoys woodworking, but as a Catholic schoolteacher with 3 sons, doesn't have a lot of extra income to spend on things he wants. This year we got him a router table, which he wanted, but couldn't afford. Our youngest granddaughter, 4 months old, needs a high chair, so we bought a toy and a couple outfits, and gave the rest of the money to her parents to put towards a new one. Everybody's happy, the main thing is we spend a day together making memories.

  25. #50
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    I have only read page one of this thread. I had missed it until now.

    With the end of my marriage I had to make huge cuts to Christmas plans. I do not buy on credit. I did less baking as I could not afford the cost of pricy ingredients (nuts, butter and chocolate).

    I told everyone who may have been expecting a gift that I was only buying for my kids this year. I told each of my kids (16, 18 and 29) what my budget was and they told me what they wanted. My brother has younger kids (3 under 8), I bought them token gifts and they loved them. I got the little girls the punching balloons and they played with them for hours when they were over the weekend before Christmas. My nephew got a balsam wood airplane.

    I did have a Fondue open house on Christmas Eve and served Christmas Brunch.

    I did buy a couple small boxes of chocolates to give as hostess gift, as I was invited to a couple homes over the holidays for a meal.

    I am ending the year will all my bills paid and a positive balance in my bank account. I have enough food in my fridge to see us through to my next pay cheque, but not so much that I will have to toss any out.

    Am I a scrooge? Some my say that.

    But I m not stressed about finances, I did not spend money I could not afford. I am comfortable with my choices.
    Attending University. I will graduate a year after my son and year before my daughter.

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