leatheflea

Its hard to say what he or I will do, I can only cross that bridge when we get there.

granniebj

I say no. Just buy for your son yourself. Course I'm getting a divorce and not very charitable right now. lol

dljennings

my folk split when i was 6-7 yrs old. dad was mia for years.. but there was always a gift under the tree from him.. cause mom bought it & put it there.. while she was working 2 jobs & not getting any child suppprt.

i guess i was about 10-11 when i told her we knew he didn't bother to send anything & she should take credit for what she got us...

kids are not stupid.

BMP

Just wondering why your son chose to live with Dad (ex) if hes such a loser...

leatheflea

Good question, we all wonder why. My oldest son stayed with me and my youngest choose to go with his dad.

Willa

Where I came from parents had to pay child support till the children turned 19. Many children are still in high school at 18 and therefore are still dependent on the parent/parents. The courts don't want children to drop out of highschool because a parent couldn't support them without childsupport. As in my case my son turned 18 in Nov. but is a senior this year. There's no way he could go to school, work a full time job, and find and pay for a place of his own. Because of this situation the courts go to 19. Child support is not meant for the children to spend it, its meant for the caregiver for the care of the children. Food, clothes, shelter, and other misc. items are needed for the care of the child.

marymm

Dear Lea, I'm really glad you saw your son for Christmas and hope you have a Happy New Year. Sometimes, it seems parents can't do anything right, but you obviously are a very nurturing and caring person. I suspect both your sons know that.

butterflywing

can you explain to your son that you can't afford to maintain him and his father as well? he probably thinks thinks that his father can't find work or for some reason like health, is unable to work.
explain that if that's true he should be getting disability, and that even though you don't have to give over money, you are happy to, but the money is for your son, not for the new family. if his father can't afford to keep him, the young man should be with you
where the court felt he should be anyway. it might be a hard lesson for him to learn, but he has to learn that we can only live the way we can afford to, not the way someone else can afford us to. he can still visit his father whenever he wants to.