Should I be santa

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12-22-2010, 11:48 AM

#21

AngieS

Super Member

Join Date: Sep 2010

Location: Western Kentucky

Posts: 3,209

Lea,

Good for you!! I am proud of you. You stood your ground. I'm sure your son will have a nice Christmas even if he gets nothing from his Dad. He will know that you thought of him and love him. I realized on my own how my dad was years ago....it took a while but I figured it out. My Mom and StepDad never ever said anything bad about him.........he did it all himself. LOL

I hope you and your son have a very Merry Christmas.

:)

Angie

12-23-2010, 01:01 AM

#22

Willa

Super Member

Join Date: Oct 2010

Posts: 1,341

Quote:

Originally Posted by leatheflea

Well I went and got my son for the week, didnt give ex any money. I have helped him in the past with money for groceries, A long distance card so his wife could call her kids. He's not mine to take care of anymore. My son will have a good christmas at my house, I cant cure his dad I tried for years, hopeless case. He has found a job though my son says! Yeah for him! And my pocket. Thanks for all your thoughts, you gals are great!

I'm SO proud of you!!!!! I know how hard that was but you're doing the right thing. You don't owe your ex anything. It sounds like we've both tried to help our ex's and in doing so they never hit the bottom and learn how to pull themselves back up. I finally told myself I've tried everything I could and have given him more than enough breaks and its time to take care of my kids and myself. Hang in there.
High fives to you!!!!!! :thumbup:

12-23-2010, 07:02 AM

#23

JAGSD

Super Member

Join Date: May 2010

Location: South Dakota

Posts: 1,216

I am among the belief that Christmas is not about expensive gifts. I think it has gotten so out of hand for some, yes we buy are boys gifts and different things thru out the year.
But a gift can be a pair of gloves,a favorite candy bar stash,a pair of earphones, a needed pair of pants. No your Ex may not be able to do expensive but their are many non-expensive choices.
One of my boys (14) wants and engine(he's building a go-cart- pretty much from scraps) well you know what he's not going to get one for Christmas and will need to save for it whether he wants new or used or bartar for one.Besides it will give me time to get use to the whole idea of a motor.hee hee Anyways I don't mean to offend anyone I just wanted to give some suggestions. Best Wishes..

I just read the recent post. GOOD JOB! You will have a Wonderful Time and enjoy your time with your son.

12-23-2010, 08:33 AM

#24

MaggieLou

Super Member

Join Date: Apr 2010

Location: Central Florida

Posts: 1,804

I agree with the others. Don't send money to the ex. If the kids need gifts buy them yourself and send them. It sounds like he knows you're a soft touch and is playing you.

12-23-2010, 08:40 AM

#25

grannypat7925

Super Member

Join Date: Jun 2010

Location: Springfield, Ohio

Posts: 5,446

I agree.........you gift them.......don't let him be a part of that. If he really wanted to get them gifts he would have found a way!

12-23-2010, 09:40 AM

#26

Sorrelpen

Junior Member

Join Date: Jul 2010

Posts: 127

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sadiemae

I would follow my heart, but I agree that I would give the gifts directly. You will do a better job shopping anyway.

ditto
penny

12-23-2010, 11:38 AM

#27

quiltmom04

Super Member

Join Date: Jan 2009

Location: PA

Posts: 2,879

Quote:

Originally Posted by leatheflea

My ex husband has been out of work for almost 3 years. He informed my youngest son (which lives with him) that he would not be able to buy christmas for him and his step brother. My heart sank for both my ex and my son. My heart says take money out of my savings and give it to my ex without my son knowing, but my head says hes a jerk dont you dare he could have had a job years ago had he looked for one. I pay child support to my ex its not court odered because I have custody, its just my sons decision to live there. So its not like he doesnt have income, he has a working wife and was drawing unemployment. Sometimes I hate having a heart.

NO! If you want to Santa, be Santa from YOU, not your ex. Sounds like your ex is playing the kids against you. I'm guessing this is not the first time!