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Thread: Stressfree Holidays.....it's a choice

  1. #1
    Super Member Sandygirl's Avatar
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    Stressfree Holidays.....it's a choice

    Yep, they come once a year. I enjoy a stressfree Christmas every year! If it (sewing) has to be ready in time, it is, or it is given when it is done. I don't overload my self with deadlines, must-do, must -be, must-travel, etc. Heck, when people ask me when I will be "home" again (150 miles each way....my drive.), my new suggestion is "meet me halfway". Cricket chirp. Lol! Love how people want to see me but on my time and my dime. Facebook is a "visit", right? Lol!

    I guess that as I get older, I prioritize how I spend my time and who I socialize with, etc. I am not a negative person at all but it is a 2-way street. Please use your lane too!

    Sandy
    Sandygirl

    Janome 9900 / Janome 9700 / Janome 3160 QVC/ Janome 1100D serger, Juki 2020 Mini
    Singer Centennial model (inherited from my late, fav aunt!)

  2. #2
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    I concur completely. I live 4 hours from "home". And I am the one expected to make the trip.

    I too have a stress free Christmas. My daughters and I give the gift of not exchanging gifts. We all hate to shop. So not having to is the gift. My husband and I feel the same way. And since at this stage in our life if we want it we don't have to wait till Christmas for someone to buy it for us. We get a few things for our grandson and of course make him a quilt.

    We totally avoid the stores and leave the shopping frenzy for those out there that for some reason enjoy it. Christmas has become such a commercialized holiday and we choose to "not drink the kool-aid"

    SVAL

  3. #3
    Senior Member CharlotteO's Avatar
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    Amen ladies Amen. We've reduced our holiday stress the same way. My special gift this year was my 11 year old grand daughter staying here these past few days. She is indeed a joy to be with, such fun, and such a replica of her mother that it is like a visit back in time. And we went to the fabric store, and when we came home, I showed her how to use the serger and she serged a camo fleece blanket for her dad and a few things for her mom. That is the joy of Christmas.

  4. #4
    Super Member GingerK's Avatar
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    As a young married, I yearned to host the 'family' Christmas just once. But it seemed that we--the furthest away--were always the ones to travel. One sister flat out told me that she would always be in her own home for her children on Christmas Day!!! Well, I finally decided that maybe my kids should have the joy of Christmas in THEIR own home too! Changed my views significantly. We started making our own Christmas traditions for our small family. And what a relief, not to hassle with airports, poor weather and all that luggage!

    These days, Christmas is not a date on the calendar, but a day that our small family can enjoy together.
    Never argue with an idiot. They'll drag you down the their level and beat you with experience.

  5. #5
    Power Poster Onebyone's Avatar
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    I think all children should be in their home Christmas morning. No traveling to grandma to grandma for Christmas. That makes no sense to me. Travel when it's not Christmas and spend stress free days enjoying being there. All it takes is to say we are staying home for Christmas. Kids do not enjoy the stress either.
    I believe giving what I can will never cause me to be in need.
    Being cheap is not a badge of honor.
    My heroes are working people, paying their own way, taking care of their children and being decent human beings.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Diannia's Avatar
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    I have 1 set of grandkids that live about 45 minutes from us. The girls are from my DS's 1st marriage and live with DS and DDIL and so spend Christmas Eve with their DM and her family. They go home late Christmas Eve evening so they can wake up to Christmas morning at their home butthey spend the day going from our house to DDIL’s family and then go back totheir DM’s late evening to spend the rest of their winter break with her .DS has to work Christmas morning this year sothey tried something new…they got to pick out 2 gifts each evening for the past4 nights to open and enjoy.DDIL saidthe whole family has loved it.They hadtime each night to play/read or whatever w/the gift items instead of opening 1to stack it in a pile and rush on to the next 1.She said 1 evening they played kid Monopolyand DS joined in (he usually has to be in bed early for work).She thinks this will be a new tradition forthem.I don’t think I can sing herpraises enough.She is raising thosegirls as her own and treats them no differently than her and DS’s littleboy.She’s definitely a keeper!
    I am too blessed to be stressed and too anointed to be disappointed!

  7. #7
    Super Member Jan in VA's Avatar
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    About a hundred years ago when I had one very small daughter who was a first grandchild on both sides of the family. We had lived in Germany for two years (where she was born) when we came home for her 2 year old Christmas, to meet all the rest of the family for the first time.

    We spent Christmas Eve with my mother playing Santa at her house, then drove to my dad's house to sleep so we could do Christmas Morning Santa with him. By noon Christmas Morning we were on a flight across the state to my DH's parents' house to do the Santa thing all over again for the third time. We were all exhausted and cranky!

    I decided right then that from that year on, no matter where we lived, we were going to be in OUR house for Christmas and they could all come to us! Stuck by that, too, through another marriage and another "first grandchild" on that side of the family.

    Somehow mailing all the gifts, though, has become a burden over the years and now we mostly trade gift cards and/or direct delivery gifts. I am so thankful for the internet to relieve the stress of the harried shopping!

    Jan in VA
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  8. #8
    Power Poster lynnie's Avatar
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    I always hated the running around. the feeling of must having to see someone.cSince I married my 2nd husbnd, he's Jewish, I now have an excuse to stay home. We do our own thing, no running around, just quiet peacefulness. My son sleeps over the night b4, I make French toast and if he can, he makes it back for dinner. No rush or feeling guilty over not seeing someone. it's so much easier. I think to many people put to much pressure on what it's supposed to be. Everyone have a wonderful day if you're celebrating Christmas or Hanukkah or Ramadan. enjoy it.
    put off till tomorrow what you can do today, and if you procrastinate long enough, you may never have to do it.

  9. #9
    Super Member AZ Jane's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sandygirl View Post
    Yep, they come once a year. I enjoy a stressfree Christmas every year! If it (sewing) has to be ready in time, it is, or it is given when it is done. I don't overload my self with deadlines, must-do, must -be, must-travel, etc. Heck, when people ask me when I will be "home" again (150 miles each way....my drive.), my new suggestion is "meet me halfway". Cricket chirp. Lol! Love how people want to see me but on my time and my dime. Facebook is a "visit", right? Lol!

    I guess that as I get older, I prioritize how I spend my time and who I socialize with, etc. I am not a negative person at all but it is a 2-way street. Please use your lane too!

    Sandy
    When we moved from VA to AZ, the family was always complaining we never called. (We always called, once a week, per family!) I had to remind them several times, the lines (phone) went in both direction!!!
    Better to do something imperfectly, than nothing perfectly.
    Done is better than perfect.

  10. #10
    Senior Member ladydukes's Avatar
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    When I was married to my ex-husband, we would go to my DMIL house on Christmas Eve for gift opening and eating (appetizers, finger foods, etc). It was a "tradition" that held true. There were so many people there it was a zoo, but what can you expect with eight siblings, their spouses, and all the grandkids? It was an hour and a half drive. But - afterwards we went home so that our kids could have a traditional Christmas morning at our house opening gifts.

    Now that I'm married to my HS sweetheart, (and by the way, today is our THIRD ANNIVERSARY, as we were married on Christmas Eve), we live in WA State some 2200 miles from everyone. My DH and I celebrate Christmas basically by ourselves. We are invited to a friends house this evening for an Italian dinner, then tomorrow to aother friends house for Chinese dinner.

    This year, my oldest DGD will be coming after Christmas for a few days. She's never been to see us at our house here in WA State since we moved five years ago.

  11. #11
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    My boys and their families live in Indiana and Michigan. My youngest DS usually goes to my sister's house for Christmas. He won't get the DGDs until Friday. They will go to my sister's for a very short time Sunday. Oldest DS goes to his dad's. DH and I spend Christmas at home and I usually just send gift cards. Easier than shopping and wrapping and mailing. If they don't like what they got, that's their fault. DSs don't exchange gifts and they're ok with that. The only thing I ever ask for is phone calls. We got Skype this year so now I can see who I'm speaking with. Everything is going to be roasted for the meal this year so the house will be all nice and warm. Suppose to be a little chilly this year. Finally, found my missing Christmas tree of course after I bought one to replace it. I'll maybe put both up since they're small. LOL! One for each furbaby!! LOL!!

  12. #12
    Super Member Caswews's Avatar
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    I start in January making gifts, purchasing things the granddaughters say they want as I see them on sale. Plus they get gift cards every year (this year being an exception as the oldest one -17- drives and loves to fill her car up so she can go places; she is getting cash!).

    So by the time Christmas comes around I am full of gifts and there is no stress ( well except for the inlaws next door !LOL).
    When Life brings big winds of change that almost blows you over.Hang on tight and Believe.
    Words and hearts should be handled with care-for words when spoken and hearts when broken are the hardest things to repair. Author unknown to me
    Do what you feel in your heart to be right; for you'll be criticized anyway-Eleanor Roosevelt

  13. #13
    Power Poster ube quilting's Avatar
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    The older we get the more valuable out time becomes to us. I would much rather have visitors than be one. I can at least sit and chat while hand piecing. It is funny how I can keep busy while friends are visiting me but not family, except for DM.

    Don't ever apologize for living your life the way you want .
    peace
    no act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted. Aesop

  14. #14
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    I opted out of all the hoopla years ago. I don't shop for any thing but groceries in December and its all done by the 5th. If I run out of some thing I can live with out it. This year I am cooking a ham dinner for my Dad and me : ) and we'll spend the day watching all his favorite game shows. The only thing that would be more stress free is if I got to do nothing but read and sleep. I wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a very restful day after Christmas

  15. #15
    Senior Member Lena1952's Avatar
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    Our children are grown and the little one get way more gifts than they need (our opinion) so we decided to ask what charity they would like us to donate toward in their names. The SPCA, Home of the Brave, Salvation Army, local fire dept, Clothing for Kids (another local charity) are some of this years recipients. Christmas completed, no hassle, no stress and it feels pretty good to know our gift is something needed.

  16. #16
    Senior Member Bneighbor's Avatar
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    Back when I was married to hubby 1, Christmas eve was at my parents house, Christmas morning our house (so son could open his Santa gifts) then pack up to go to in-laws house, pack up, leave there to go to another of his family. Did that for our whole 12 year marriage. Our son never ate dinner at our house. Married present husband. Child older, but went to my parents for Christmas eve, had breakfast at our house, packed up our entire Christmas packages to go to his sisters house. It was insisted that we not open our gifts at our house, but share our Christmas with them. We live almost an hour away! We would not get home until very late. I was exhausted. About 9 years ago, I decided I wanted Christmas at my house. I made the invitation to the family for dinner. You would have thought I committed the biggest sin! "What? You want US to DRIVE and hour to YOUR house?. But, OUT kids want Christmas in OUR house!" I was so angry. From that day forward, I have not been to their house for any holiday. That turned me away from Christmas. I don't even bother with a tree. Hubby and I exchange gifts all through the year, so December 25th is just another day. We do go to my son's house for brunch ( he lives about 20 minutes away). He will not go to anyone's house either because he said we never had any traditions except for the ones the others part of the family had. This year was especially hard, since my Daddy died in in November, so Christmas Eve was hard. We gathered (all 6 of us, since several decided to work, firemen in the family), had a quiet dinner and exchanged small gifts. In 2014, we lost our middle son, my Father, my husbands brother, and a very close friend. Christmas was just not that important to us. Maybe 2015 will bring back the spirit and sparkle of the holidays again.

  17. #17
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    I agree...The world needs to get back to the real reason for the season..Not the gifts they might get...

  18. #18
    Super Member Billi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ube quilting View Post

    Don't ever apologize for living your life the way you want .
    peace

    I think this is my favorite thing I have read. I would only add if others have a problem with you not going along with their agenda it is a negative reflection on them not you.
    Billi
    It's never too late to have a happy childhood

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