pal

A lady was checking out scarves in the store. She turned to me and asked "Do you think this is too bright for an old lady". I answered "not at all, it goes beautifully with your coat".

She was buying it for her elderly neighbor.

grannypat7925

Stuff happens. I try to think before I speak but sometimes things just jump out unbidden! LOL

ssgramma

ROTFLMAO and this kind of thing is why I NEVER have a drink at the computer :-)

ncredbird

My husband and I visited his home town to visit family and attend his 10th HS reunion. I had met a few of his friends but not many and felt really awkward with all the strangers around. At one point at the reunion and everyone was standing around a female walked up that they all knew. The music was really loud and one of my husbands friends introduced her as "Dixie". I wasn't sure I had heard it right so I inquired "As in "I Wish I Were In Dixie"? All the guys turned bright red and started to choke. It was only later that my DH told me that I had sure gotten that right. I always remember the line "You only get one chance to make a good first impression" I don't know if I succeeded or failed miserably but it was purely an accident. Ann in TN

Anne P

We used to have a working bar in our basement. Shortly after we got it up and running my husband came home at lunch time one day with a co-worker whom I had met only once before. I fixed some sandwiches and we were sitting at the bar to eat them. When you tap into a fresh keg of beer, there are pices of "stuff" floating around in it until it gets settled in the bottom of the keg.
My husband saw this in his mug and said, "There are organisms in my beer." Then I said, "There are orgasms in mine, too."
Of course, I had to say this in front of a stanger! Needless to say, this story has been told all over the place. Now my kids even tell it to their friends! Yikes!!!

tsnana2000

I have tears in my eyes from laughing so hard!! :lol: :lol: :lol:

nancy59

I have two - I was a safety coordinator for my previous job and I was having trouble with our maintenace dept putting acorn nuts back on the sides of the machines, this would cause our employees to catch their shirt on the exposed screws and either tear them or worse pop them open. In a safety meeting one day, I was fustrated about this and I asked the maintenance manager why he couldn't teach his guys to put their nuts on the machines when finished with them. The room got really silent on that one, before the laughter and my red face.

nancy59

Second one - I had to do safety training on Blood Borne Pathogens to the whole plant. My first year I was trying to say that a Bloodborne is a micro-organism and I said it was a mico-orgasm. One employee piped up with "I didn't know you still had those at your age". For the next ten years I had to stop before I used the term. It was never forgotten and employees would wait for me to slip up again.

Baloonatic

One Christmas at my MIL's house my DH presented me with a small pair of diamond earrings. Across the very crowded room his cousin said, "Let's see them." I said, "You'll need a magnifier...."
What I meant to say was " 'a telescope' to see them from that far away" ...Aw heck, I should have just passed them down!

jaciqltznok

while living in ITaly I had my Appendix out, 10 days later we went by train to Germany for visit with my family there.

talking about me, hubby, 2 small kids and my mom. We arrive after 2 days on trains in Berlin at my Aunts apt. She gives me a big hug stands back and says.."OH my dear such a long trip after your hospital stay, you must need a nice hot douche by now!"

I was floored and my mom was laughing so hard so had to RUN to the bathroom. In Germany, a nice hot douche means a nice hot SHOWER!

WE still giggle over that one!