Go Back  Quiltingboard Forums > General Chit-Chat (non-quilting talk)
Theft Problem - IMPORTANT MESSAGE: (funny?) >

Theft Problem - IMPORTANT MESSAGE: (funny?)

Theft Problem - IMPORTANT MESSAGE: (funny?)

Thread Tools
 
Old 09-14-2010, 10:32 AM
  #41  
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Texas
Posts: 482
Default

Ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha...best Rx there is. Most affordable too.
Bluebonnet Sue is offline  
Old 09-14-2010, 10:40 AM
  #42  
Super Member
 
Ms. Shawn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Madison Heights, VA
Posts: 1,334
Default

Originally Posted by Ditter43
You've heard about people who have been abducted and had their kidneys removed by black-market organ thieves.

My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago. I went to sleep and woke up with someone else's thighs. It was just that quick. The replacements had the texture of cooked oatmeal. Whose thighs were these and what happened to mine? I spent the entire summer looking for my thighs. Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans. And then the thieves struck again.

My butt was next. I knew it was the same gang, because they took pains to match my new rear-end to the thighs they had stuck me with earlier. But my new butt was attached at least three inches lower than my original! I realized I'd have to give up my jeans in favor of long skirts.

Two years ago I realized my arms had been switched. One morning I was fixing my hair and was horrified to see the flesh of my upper arm swing to and fro with the motion of the hairbrush. This was really getting scary - my body was being replaced one section at a time. What could they do to me next?

When my poor neck suddenly disappeared and was replaced with a turkey neck, I decided to tell my story. Women of the world, wake up and smell the coffee! Those 'plastic' surgeons are using REAL replacement body parts -stolen from you and me! The next time someone you know has something 'lifted', look again - was it lifted from you?

THIS IS NOT A HOAX. This is happening to women everywhere every night.

WARN YOUR FRIENDS!

P.S. Last year I thought some one had stolen my Boobs. I was lying in bed and they were gone! But when I jumped out of bed, I was relieved to see that they had just been hiding in my armpits as I slept. Now I keep them hidden in my waistband.

Thought this was too 'important' not to pass on Have a wonderful day - with a joy filled heart

These same thieves come in my closet and shrink my clothes! How do they do it?
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :roll: :roll: :XD: :thumbup: :mrgreen: :P
Ms. Shawn is offline  
Old 09-14-2010, 10:45 AM
  #43  
Super Member
 
roseOfsharon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Maryland
Posts: 4,449
Default

Hilarious! thanks for the input, I will be keeping an eye out for things that go bump in the night and know it's the theives of body parts! And I was thinking it was just me wondering what happened!!
roseOfsharon is offline  
Old 09-14-2010, 10:59 AM
  #44  
Super Member
 
trisha's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Northwest Ohio
Posts: 1,851
Default

oooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! Just to funny!!!
trisha is offline  
Old 09-15-2010, 12:30 PM
  #45  
Senior Member
 
DebbyT's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Grawn, Michigan
Posts: 643
Default

Your story reminds me of when my husband went to the hospital to pick up his mother. He and his sister had brought clothes for her to wear home. When she went to get dressed, her bra was missing and she called to the group waiting asking if it was out there. They said 'oh, oh'. My husband said 'tuck them in your pants'. She was mortified.
DebbyT is offline  
Old 09-15-2010, 05:30 PM
  #46  
Power Poster
 
cjomomma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Murray, Ky. Looking for a nice cushy pillow to rest my head on!
Posts: 14,022
Default

Originally Posted by DebbyT
Your story reminds me of when my husband went to the hospital to pick up his mother. He and his sister had brought clothes for her to wear home. When she went to get dressed, her bra was missing and she called to the group waiting asking if it was out there. They said 'oh, oh'. My husband said 'tuck them in your pants'. She was mortified.
Holy cow, I needed that laugh!!!
cjomomma is offline  
Old 09-15-2010, 07:40 PM
  #47  
Senior Member
 
Boscobd's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Arizona
Posts: 997
Default

Uh Oh - I'm going to start sleeping with one eye open. They haven't struck me yet, but I'm afraid they may be getting close!!
Boscobd is offline  
Old 09-15-2010, 07:53 PM
  #48  
Super Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: AZ and CT
Posts: 4,898
Default

Funny as always, Ditter! You never fail to bring gut-laughing tears to my eyes!
JoanneS is offline  
Old 09-15-2010, 08:00 PM
  #49  
Super Member
 
dream56's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Indiana, PA
Posts: 1,320
Default

I'm crying from laughing so hard. Ditter you are the best.
dream56 is offline  
Old 09-15-2010, 08:44 PM
  #50  
Super Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: La Quinta, CA
Posts: 3,918
Default

:thumbup:
MaryStoaks is offline  
Related Topics
Thread
Thread Starter
Forum
Replies
Last Post
Ditter43
General Chit-Chat (non-quilting talk)
32
01-23-2011 08:20 AM
butterflywing
General Chit-Chat (non-quilting talk)
8
01-16-2011 10:59 AM
butterflywing
General Chit-Chat (non-quilting talk)
16
04-03-2010 07:15 PM
joeyoz
General Chit-Chat (non-quilting talk)
5
01-21-2010 12:40 AM

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



FREE Quilting Newsletter