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Thread: What's so wrong with being a homebody?

  1. #1
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    Why do most people tell me I need to "get out" more? What does that mean, anyway? Because they do I should?

    I've always been a loner, socially awkward, much prefer to be doing my own thing. After I divorced I spent my time raising my kids and as you may know, the single person doesn't mesh well with couples.

    Fast forward 17 years and I still prefer to be home, or doing things by myself. Not including time I spend with the kids and family, I just really have no friends, but that never bothered me because I have never really had many, and I have so many interests that I prefer.

    Does anyone else feel like this? I'm perfectly fine with me, I'm just tired of trying to convince everyone else. I feel like they don't believe me. Maybe they just don't know me that well. Or maybe they would like to? hmmm...

  2. #2

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    i am not single but I prefer to be home.I spend time with my the family and grandkids.from reading your post it sounds like me.

  3. #3
    Member calicoquilter's Avatar
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    Butterfli 19
    I'm the same way. People keep telling me I should travel. I even bought a vacation home in a small mountain town thinking that would help me get away. Found out that I don't want to get away, so I am now selling the vacation home. I would rather stay at home and quilt or read. I have other interests too. I do understand how you feel. Some people are just naturally home bodies.

  4. #4
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    I'm the same way. I love my job as a teacher, but feel awkward in social situations with adults. I like being home and moving from horses to quilting. There's no where I want to go. Thankfully, hubby is the same way. At school I never go to the social stuff after--always need to get home. We rarely have anyone here except our kids or someone who wants to see the horses. I feel comfortable when folks come here--but I don't want to go out.

    I haven't spent the night away from home since 2001--and that was only once. ;-)

  5. #5
    Super Member carrieg's Avatar
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    There's nothing wrong with that. There's lots of us! The ones telling you that are just extroverts or social types who cannot understand being comfortable alone. They think alone means lonely. There's lonely and there's solitude.

  6. #6
    Super Member NorBanaquilts's Avatar
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    There's nothing wrong with being a homebody. I'm that way too, I'd rather be home than anywhere else!

  7. #7
    Super Member lfw045's Avatar
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    You're fine.......after all......home is where the heart is. :^)

  8. #8
    Senior Member quazyquilter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Butterfli19
    Why do most people tell me I need to "get out" more? What does that mean, anyway? Because they do I should?

    I've always been a loner, socially awkward, much prefer to be doing my own thing. After I divorced I spent my time raising my kids and as you may know, the single person doesn't mesh well with couples.

    Fast forward 17 years and I still prefer to be home, or doing things by myself. Not including time I spend with the kids and family, I just really have no friends, but that never bothered me because I have never really had many, and I have so many interests that I prefer.

    Does anyone else feel like this? I'm perfectly fine with me, I'm just tired of trying to convince everyone else. I feel like they don't believe me. Maybe they just don't know me that well. Or maybe they would like to? hmmm...
    YOU have plenty of friends, you have all of us!!!!

  9. #9
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    I think it has to do with personality types. I teach school but prefer to be at home when I can. I love to entertain...we always have a houseful at holiday time. But, an example is tonite...I had no desire to go to a Super Bowl party where I would have to mingle and make small talk. I much prefer to be here at home watching the game and playing on my laptop. And I prefer daytrips to overnite trips...I don't have the hassle of boarding the dog, etc. Yes, I am a homebody as well and I see nothing wrong with it.

  10. #10
    Senior Member renee765's Avatar
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    In my opinion, you're pretty normal. I became a widow a couple of years ago, my grown-up kids and grandbabies all live in town (but not with me - perfect world!) and I'm living alone for the first time in my 59 years.

    I have to say I am really enjoying it. I wouldn't have chosen this, but since this is what life has handed me, I've found that I like being alone. I work during the day and get along well with the folks at work. But when I come home, it's peace and quiet and whatever I want to do.

    I've often told myself that I need to get involved in church, or join a quilting guild, or something like that. But I've finally come to realize that I enjoy my own company and don't want to change that right now. I figure that when I retire I'll get the ambition to get more involved in community, but we'll see what happens when that time gets here.

    I think people who tell you that you need to get out more may be people who are more extroverted - they get their energy from being around others. I am introverted - I get my energy from alone time. And there's nothing wrong with that as long as I am happy.

  11. #11
    grammynan's Avatar
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    I agree that there's nothing wrong with being a homebody. Buy I think that we need to be aware that there's a fine line between being a loner and being depressed. As long as we are healthy and don't cross that line, then we are ok.

  12. #12
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    I work in a very busy office, I am the oldest one. I have to work very hard to keep up with the younger people and I am tired at the end of the day. I love coming home to my husband and quite. I really don't want to talk to anyone, I just like to be quite and get myself centered. So I can do it again the next day. Some people just don't know how to be comfortable with themself. I would not listen to what other people say. If you are happy that is what it is all about.

  13. #13
    Super Member weezie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Butterfli19
    Why do most people tell me I need to "get out" more? What does that mean, anyway? Because they do I should?

    I've always been a loner, socially awkward, much prefer to be doing my own thing. After I divorced I spent my time raising my kids and as you may know, the single person doesn't mesh well with couples.

    Fast forward 17 years and I still prefer to be home, or doing things by myself. Not including time I spend with the kids and family, I just really have no friends, but that never bothered me because I have never really had many, and I have so many interests that I prefer.

    Does anyone else feel like this? I'm perfectly fine with me, I'm just tired of trying to convince everyone else. I feel like they don't believe me. Maybe they just don't know me that well. Or maybe they would like to? hmmm...
    For many reasons, my husband and I are now socially isolated except for visits with our 3 offspring (who live nearby) and internet communication with family and old friends, most of whom live far away. This is something we have BECOME over time and through circumstances, but we are now accustomed to it and it is therefore what we are comfortable with.

    I see nothing odd about the fact that you are content all by yourself. It's certainly not a bad thing!

  14. #14
    Super Member Shemjo's Avatar
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    I, too, prefer my own company most of the time. I pick and choose when and where I go and with whom I spend my precious time. I love having choices, and I exercise my options.

  15. #15
    Moderator littlehud's Avatar
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    I know just what you mean. The people I work with think I need someone to make me complete. I don't. I enjoy my solitary time and I love taking care of my kids. I'm happy, just like you.

  16. #16
    Dora Taggart's Avatar
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    I like to just stay home and do my own thing....my sister n law just does understand why I dont get out more...she is always on the go and thinks everyone else should be also. I am just happy being by myself..so dont think you are a odd duck alot of us dont have to be going to be happy.

  17. #17
    Super Member b.zang's Avatar
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    How comforting to know that we can fill our days with ourselves rather than needing other people to provide entertainment.

    Personally, I like providing my own validation.

  18. #18
    Senior Member aliaslaceygreen's Avatar
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    I work full time, and I do on occasion attend quilt group meetings. I am not adverse to vacationing, I LOVE travel and wish I could do more. I am thrilled to visit family and be social and enjoy events with my few girlfriends, none of whom are local.

    BUT. On my day off, or weekend off or after work? On a day to day consistent basis?? Home. I secretly LOVE the week my husband works 4-12 midnight, and get a bit upset if I end up working late the same days he is, because that week is "mine"...Icecream for dinner if I want,, just me and the kitties, putzing, quilting, reading....
    I can handle a 2 hour schmooze at an art gallery once a month... but beyond that....give me peace and quiet and my own time...

  19. #19
    Senior Member SuzyM's Avatar
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    At work I have to deal with people all day long. So my weekends and my nights are mine. I am very selfish with my free time and I prefer to do the things I want to do. I have no problem spending time by myself or going out to dinner alone.

  20. #20
    Super Member Charlee's Avatar
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    I work with people all day long too...the majority of them are cranky...they're either moving and disorganized and wanting me to fix their problems (NOT in my job description!) or they're SUPER organized and cranky because policy doesn't allow me to work with their plan...
    Then there are those that can't afford to pay their storage bill and are in danger of losing their stuff...

    If it wasn't for William, who still loves people even dealing with all of this too....I'd never leave once I got home! In fact...if I didn't HAVE to work, I'd be home all of the time...between the two of us, William is the social butterfly...

  21. #21
    Super Member pittsburgpam's Avatar
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    I am also a homebody and spend a lot of time alone. I was married for 20 years and, sorry to say, it was abusive in several ways. It's taken a long time to recover and I am still pretty quiet and shy. I try sometimes to be more outgoing but it's just not ME. I don't talk a lot in person so "going out" is mainly an exercise in people watching and listening.

    I talk with my 3 children several times a week. I work with people 5 days a week. So what if I like to go home and relax and do things that I want to do?

    My parents have passed away, my father just a year ago, and I have decided that I'm going to see the places I've always wanted to see because "someday" might never come. My eldest daughter and I are planning a trip to Paris and Rome. My sister and I are going on a trip in April and we have our flights and hotels booked.

    I do want a love in my life but not sure if marriage is something I will do again. It's hard to find someone when I don't want to go out!!

  22. #22
    Super Member craftiladi's Avatar
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    I too have told myself alot this past yr I need to get out in order to meet people as I just moved to my new state 3 yrs ago. I do miss the friendships from my past life but I also don't mind being the homebody that I have become. Most of the time I make friends easily but seldom do we end up having the same interests. I have been asked several times by the LQS to come to open sew on tuesdays but so far I keep coming up w/ excuses not to go....so I must not mind being home...lol. I say whatever makes you happy!!!

  23. #23
    Super Member tigger5464's Avatar
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    are these people just busy bodies that think they know everyone else's best interests? You stick to your guns and enjoy doing your own thing!! I don't blame you at all...many times I have said that I would love to be a "hermit" and never leave home if I didn't have to. I would be more than content not having to deal with some people in person. I can, however talk with people...I just choose not to most of the time. Of course, then they think that I'm a snob or something...Just quiet and sort of shy. :D
    Life is too short to try to please other people...Please yourself first. :D JMHO

  24. #24
    Super Member wvdek's Avatar
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    Well now I see why we all get along so well. We all like and enjoy ourselves and we are our best company. We know what pleases us and what gives us happiness.
    For the most part, I am an introvert, but can adapt to most any situation for whatever period I need to. I can be with the homeless guy on his turf or the rich on theirs.
    I would be most comfortable travelling the world or staying home and quilting and watching movies.
    Because I am unable to be as physical as I was up to three years ago, I have had to curtail my lifestyle alot. So, I am more of a homebody now.
    If you are happy, have found your little niche, are comfortable with your thoughts and feelings, and you are a resposible human being, what's the problem? Tell your family and friends to M.Y.O.B. because you are happy as you are and its ok.

  25. #25
    Jerrie's Avatar
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    Before i was sick i was and still am a homebody people tell me i need to get out at least get some fresh air. They tell me i am coming to get you and get you out the house. I enjoy quilting and doing my needle work.

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