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Thread: Why I'm Divorced

  1. #1
    Super Member bjnicholson's Avatar
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    Why I'm divorced . . .

    Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that morning..

    I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say,
    'Happy Birthday!' and possibly have a small present for me.

    As it turned out, she barely said good morning,
    let alone' Happy Birthday.'

    I thought....

    Well, that's marriage for you,
    but the kids.... They will remember.

    My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast
    and didn't say a word. So when I left for the office,
    I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.

    As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said,
    'Good Morning Boss, and by the way 'Happy Birthday ! '
    It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered.

    I worked until one o'clock, when Jane knocked on my door
    and said, 'You know, It's such a beautiful day outside,
    and it is your Birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch,
    just you and me..' I said, 'Thanks, Jane, that's the greatest thing
    I've heard all day. Let's go !'

    We went to lunch.
    But we didn't go where we normally would go.
    She chose instead at a quiet bistro with a private table.
    We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.

    On the way back to the office,
    Jane said, 'You know, It's such a beautiful day...
    We don't need to go straight back to the office,
    Do We ?'

    I responded, 'I guess not.
    What do you have in mind ?'
    She said, 'Let's drop by my apartment, it's just around the corner..'

    After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said,
    ' Boss, if you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom
    for just a moment. I'll be right back.'
    'Ok.' I nervously replied.

    She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes,
    she came out carrying a huge birthday cake ...
    Followed
    by my wife,
    my kids,
    and dozens of my friends
    and co-workers,
    all singing 'Happy Birthday'.


    And I just sat there....

    On the couch.....

    Naked.

  2. #2
    Power Poster CarrieAnne's Avatar
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    LOL!!!!!!!!

  3. #3
    community benefactor Conniequilts's Avatar
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    hysterical! thankyou for sharing :)

  4. #4
    Senior Member
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    LOL, LOL LOl!!!!!!!!! TOO FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!

  5. #5
    Senior Member mamahippychicky's Avatar
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    I love it! Thank you

  6. #6
    Moderator Jim's Gem's Avatar
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    I'm curious, why do men think that a woman is turned on by seeing a man naked on her couch? I would turn the other direction and run, unless I was married to him!!!!

  7. #7
    Power Poster Jingle's Avatar
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    I guess you were really surprised ---- along with everyone else.

  8. #8
    Super Member mrspete's Avatar
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    that would do it!


    thanks

  9. #9
    Moderator littlehud's Avatar
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    Oh my........so funny. Thanks for the giggle.

  10. #10
    Super Member slk350's Avatar
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    Heard that one many times, BUT always as funny as the first time LOL

  11. #11
    Super Member
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    Oops!

  12. #12
    Super Member charmpacksplus's Avatar
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    That's a good one!

  13. #13
    Power Poster cjomomma's Avatar
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    :oops: :-o

  14. #14
    Power Poster earthwalker's Avatar
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    Now THAT is funny!

  15. #15
    Power Poster sueisallaboutquilts's Avatar
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    OMG I'm going to PMP !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahahahahahahahahaha

  16. #16
    Super Member trisha's Avatar
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    And here I was starting to feel really sorry for you! LOL

  17. #17
    Senior Member janethagy's Avatar
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    That is funny!!

  18. #18
    Super Member I go To The Sea To Breathe's Avatar
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    Funny!!!!!!

  19. #19
    Super Member quilt queen 2's Avatar
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    Too funny!!!

  20. #20
    Super Member knlsmith's Avatar
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    ROFL. I think I may pee my pants. Lol. Needed that! Thanks!!

  21. #21
    Super Member SuziC's Avatar
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    I LOVE IT!!!!!!!

  22. #22
    Super Member
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    That gives new meaning to SUPRISE

  23. #23
    Super Member craftiladi's Avatar
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    OH NO!!!!!!! way to funny...thanks for the early morning chuckle.
    LMAO

  24. #24
    Super Member Lynnejean's Avatar
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    Good one! I'll have to tell my husband this one! :-)

  25. #25
    Super Member Ditter43's Avatar
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    Heard it before but it still made me laugh! :lol: :lol:

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