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Thread: Appreciation

  1. #1
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    Appreciation

    I have made and gifted at least half a dozen baby quilts over the past year or so. Some recipients showed appreciation, others not so much. I try not to pay much attention because I know we all show things differently and the spirit of the gift is the important thing. Last night my sons' high school soccer team stopped to eat after a game and I was near the coach. He asked if I had made the "blanket" I gave him and his wife for their new daughter last August. He said they used it constantly on the floor for the baby to play on. It's nice to know it is being used, not stuffed away somewhere. I told him I always tell my sons that a gift of a quilt is a permanent hug.

  2. #2
    Super Member Murphy1's Avatar
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    The gift of a quilt is a permanent Hug. I love it. We all know the thought and effort that goes into creating the quilts we give. For me, I am thinking about that person, thoughts about the fabric, the wonder of the finished quilt. Some, like my daughter really let you know how much they love the quilts, others sadly like my son, have nothing to say. I am glad your coach shared how much they love the quilt you made their daughter.
    Murphy1
    For our wonderful Golden Retriever adopted in March of 2010.

  3. #3
    Super Member Boston1954's Avatar
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    It sure is nice to know that they are loving it. I made wall hangings for two young couples in our church who each had babies last October. I got lovely notes from both saying how much they liked them. It feels good.
    Life is not a movie. No one is going to yell "CUT" when you make a mistake. - Anne L. Fulton

    I am from the South....39 miles south of Boston.

  4. #4
    Super Member willferg's Avatar
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    This week I handed over two quilts I made for two special teachers my daughter has had. The first one oohed and ahhed and really, really appreciated the hard work and thoughtfulness; the second hardly said anything and didn't look at me.

    I had to laugh to myself. I wasn't hurt by it; I know that some people are uncomfortable showing gratitude or accepting gifts. She's a great person and has been wonderful to work with, so I know she will appreciate the quilt, she just isn't good at showing it.

    It is nice (great even) to hear that people like my quilts, but I don't get discouraged when people don't make a fuss. I quilt because I enjoy it, and the appreciation is secondary to me. I can live with that.
    People who start projects and never finish them are cooler
    than people who never start projects at all.


    http://quiltingquick.weebly.com/blog.html

  5. #5
    Super Member willferg's Avatar
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    This week I handed over two quilts I made for two special teachers my daughter has had. The first one oohed and ahhed and really, really appreciated the hard work and thoughtfulness; the second hardly said anything and didn't look at me.

    I had to laugh to myself. I wasn't hurt by it; I know that some people are uncomfortable showing gratitude or accepting gifts. She's a great person and has been wonderful to work with, so I know she will appreciate the quilt, she just isn't good at showing it.

    It is nice (great even) to hear that people like my quilts, but I don't get discouraged when people don't make a fuss. I quilt because I enjoy it, and the appreciation is secondary to me. I can live with that.
    People who start projects and never finish them are cooler
    than people who never start projects at all.


    http://quiltingquick.weebly.com/blog.html

  6. #6
    Power Poster ckcowl's Avatar
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    not everyone likes quilts- plain & simple- just because we love them does not mean everyone we know shares our interest. some people prefer big-fluffy-puffy comforters...some like knitted throws...everyone is different & there is no reason to feel slighted- or hurt when you do not get the reaction you expected when giving a quilt- sometimes people even look at them and ask...why would she give me this??? they may keep it, may use it, may pack it away, may give it away...once you give it- don't ask, don't wonder, don't worry over it- and certainly don't be upset over it- you hurt no one buy yourself. i gave a quilt a few years ago that has been (re-gifted) at least 6 times- maybe more- at one point i wondered---wow- what is so wrong with that quilt that no one wants it? but that is not the case at all- a reason was explained to me by i think #4 recipient...and it's kind of cool that it keeps going around & around...
    you just never know-
    but never assume that everyone you know will have the same feelings about anything that you have...we are all different-with our own tastes.
    hiding away in my stash where i'm warm, safe and happy

  7. #7
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    I made raggedy rail fence flannel quilts for all my kids. They are all out of the house and anywhere from 1 hour to 5 hours away. On the label I put this is a hug from mom. They love them.

  8. #8
    Super Member DebraK's Avatar
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    I concur with this sentiment and way of thinking. I give a lot of my quilts to people I'll never see, or see again. You just have to believe the quilt will bring someone, some joy, somewhere down the line ;-)

    The joy for me was in the making.
    I have chosen to be happy because it is good for my health - Voltaire

  9. #9
    Moderator QuiltnNan's Avatar
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    how nice to receive the feedback about your gift
    Nancy in western NY
    before you speak THINK
    T is it True? H is it Helpful? I is it Inspiring? N is it Necessary? K is it Kind?


  10. #10
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    It is nice to at least have your gift acknowledged. You have a good attitude though - once the gift is given you have to give it up - it is theirs to do what they want with it.

  11. #11
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    I have a question, and would appreciate everyone's vote and thoughts: When giving a handmade baby quilt, should you expect a thank you note?
    ...Thanking everyone IN ADVANCE!!! ha.ha.

  12. #12
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    I would say don't hold your breath. In this day and age, people don't think or take the time to do such a thing. We quit giving my oldest son and daughter in law anything as I had to call every time to make sure they got it and then ask if they liked it. It was very frustrating. And they've taught my 2 grandsons the same way. They don't realize that you're supposed to thank someone for a gift, even if its only an email. I would even love that. All well, this younger generation seems to be so full of themselves and their self importance. Thanks for letting me vent.

  13. #13
    Super Member wolph33's Avatar
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    I love quilts,my oldest daughter loves quilts,my mom loves quilts,grandkids love them but my other daughter prefers 20.00 fleece blankies and has 2 dogs that sleep with them at nite.I offer her quilts and she says no-they will just sit in the closet.we have decided she was switched at birth,lol-she can not be mine.she understands the work involved etc,but is honest and says no.
    http://www.etsy.com/shop/Upnorthcrafter

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Misty's Mom View Post
    .... as I had to call every time to make sure they got it and then ask if they liked it. It was very frustrating....They don't realize that you're supposed to thank someone for a gift, even if its only an email. I would even love that. All well, this younger generation seems to be so full of themselves and their self importance. Thanks for letting me vent.
    I know how you feel...and my experience is from MY generation!!!!

    My recipient, someone VERY VERY DEAR TO ME, never acknowledged a hand made quilt I made. (That was 25 years ago, when I was young, and making a handmade quilt took me FOREVER! ) Seems she would rather have something from Nordstroms for Babys R Us, than a handmade gift. Go figure!

    ..and I would prefer to see my handmade quilt in a sand pile with a tot on it, than wrapped up nicely in a closet! I don't make museum pieces!

  15. #15
    Super Member mom-6's Avatar
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    A thank you is always appropriate. I'm finding that mine lately are posts on Facebook rather than in person or by mail. Guess I can't complain too much about them telling the whole world they like my quilt! Lol!
    So if you haven't gotten that thank you yet, check the recipients Facebook page. . .

  16. #16
    Super Member Buckeye Rose's Avatar
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    I recently finished a quilt for my daughter and requested a pic since I had forgotten to take one. She obliged with a post on facebook with the pic. She loves the quilt because it is long enough on the sides that she stays covered! I had quilted the names of all her immediate family in different places and made her search for them. That way she got to see each block was quilted with a different pattern and then realized just how much work went into that quilt. My girls all love the quilts and each for different reasons. They are all well used and it makes me happy. Between my girls and all of their kids, I could make a quilt each month and not keep up with all the requests! One of these days I will get to make one for me....LOL

  17. #17
    Senior Member IzzysGrammie's Avatar
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    You know, when I see the pictures of some of the beautiful quilts all of you make for wedding gifts, showers, babies, etc... I always wonder if the recipients of your quilts really respect the time and thoughtfulness that goes into them? Do they realize the cost as well? I mean to make a full sized quilt is basic $150-200 of materials, then your time. If you figure minimum wage at least, it really adds up. Maybe I'm being a little weird but right now the only quilts I have made are for my sister (who has terminal cancer), and my daughters and grandkids. I'm sure I will change my mind later on, but I always worry about that for all of you.

  18. #18
    Super Member ptquilts's Avatar
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    I don't care if people like or don't like quilts, if someone gives you a gift that is obviously hand made, or any nice gift, it just plain RUDE to not say anything, or just throw it aside, or whatever. Say "THANK YOU" even if you hate the thing!! then you can do what you want with it.

    Now when I say, "I don't care if people like or don't like quilts", I would amend that to say, if you KNOW someone doesn't like quilts, why make them one? I am just saying, how you feel about a gift should NOT be shown at the moment of receiving it, unless it is a positive feeling.

    Stepping down from my soapbox now....

  19. #19
    Senior Member Tashana's Avatar
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    My mother loves and cherishes everything I make but I know that she does not like quilts. We did not grow up with them to begin with and her artistic eye finds them too busy and too colorful. That does not bother me at all. I appreciate the honesty. I still have to make her a quilt and after she looked at many, many quilts I finally figured out what she would like. There are as many tastes as there are people, and it is a miracle we get it right as often as we do.

  20. #20
    Senior Member sall's Avatar
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    I made a quilt for a neighbours new baby, born beginning of May this year. I never got a thank you, but more than that. I HAVE NEVER EVEN SEEN THE BABY. They are a private couple, so I do not want to knock on the door, even though the Father promised to bring the baby in to see me.

  21. #21
    Power Poster ckcowl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SmickChick View Post
    I have a question, and would appreciate everyone's vote and thoughts: When giving a handmade baby quilt, should you expect a thank you note?
    ...Thanking everyone IN ADVANCE!!! ha.ha.
    you really should not expect anything- are you giving just for personal acknowledgment? you are setting yourself up for big disappointments in life. these days many people have never been taught to send 'thank you' notes. don't even think about it- they are not being *negative* they just don't think about it. the act of giving may bring you joy- but you should not be expecting others to pat your back- I grew up in a family without much- my mom made most of our clothes and we were always 'teased' about our home made clothes when all of our friends had the latest fashions from J.C. Penneys- or where ever- 3 of my siblings pretty much want nothing 'home made' if it doesn't come from a store they really don't want it- I have made them all quilts- which they really do love- but at the same time- they kind of keep them 'hidden away' because they are 'home made' and didn't come from 'Pottery Barn'- my quilts do get used-by all 3 of them- but they just don't show them off....my younger brother said his friends would think he was 'poor' ....oh well.... we are all different, to expect everyone to react, behave, love or dislike the same as we do is just grounds for hurt feelings (self inflicted- and hurts no one but yourself- makes no sense) don't expect KUDO's---enjoy them when they surprisingly happen- be happy with yourself the rest of the time...and don't go to the post office every day wondering where your 'thank you' card is...there are many more pressing things to concern yourself with.
    hiding away in my stash where i'm warm, safe and happy

  22. #22
    Super Member ArtsyOne's Avatar
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    I've been very lucky to receive hand-written thank-you's with photographs of the baby on the quilt from most of the people to whom I gave baby quilts: my real estate agent's daughter, the wife of a former co-worker (who I'd never met) and the son of a good friend. I've made quilts for the babies of co-workers and received a verbal thank-you and I've made quilts for my children who give a verbal thank you as well. I do keep a photograph of each quilt I make and those with babies on them are the best!
    A fabric stash is always missing that one fabric needed to finish the quilt on which you're working.

  23. #23
    Senior Member qwkslver's Avatar
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    I don't make quilts for anyone except my children and grandchildren, reason being I was rejected once when I told a dear friend I was going to make him a quilt. To me it is the utmost of myself I can give so I reserve it for my family. Good for you who can give them and not be hurt by other's rejections. I can't do it though.

  24. #24
    Super Member mom-6's Avatar
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    I try to find out what the person likes before I give them a quilt. Many times I just let them pick from my UFO pile. Lol!

  25. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by sall View Post
    I made a quilt for a neighbours new baby, born beginning of May this year. I never got a thank you, but more than that. I HAVE NEVER EVEN SEEN THE BABY. They are a private couple, so I do not want to knock on the door, even though the Father promised to bring the baby in to see me.

    Ouch! That hurts!

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