Baby quilt - when?
12-29-2012, 06:15 PM
#11
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: S. W. Indiana
Posts: 7,484
My best friend's son and his wife are expecting a child. She just had an 18-week check-up where a second ultrasound showed a girl - that's what they thought it was at the first ultrasound, too. They suffered a miscarriage about a year ago so ... many of us know how that affects the mindset for subsequent pregnancies. I am working on a quilt that I am so excited to give them. It will have the baby's name appliqued on it. So ... do I have to wait until the child is here? Should I wait until the last trimester? I'd really like to give it now, but .. want to be affirming and bring joy. SO what's the consensus?
12-29-2012, 06:16 PM
#12
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Vancouver Island, Beautiful BC
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Another note here. I have a very good friend who makes Angel quilts for babies who do not live. A retired man makes wooden memory boxes and the quilts (top and back, no batting) go into the box. As well a infant nightgown goes into the box.
The boxes are given to families, after losing a baby, by miscarriage, still birth or shortly after birth. My mother's first born was still born almost 50 years ago. She would have loved to have had something tangible like a memory box to remember all the hopes and dreams that died with that baby.
I have never given a baby gift with a name on it. I used to make crochet blankets for all my friends' babies. Here nowadays most baby showers are held after the baby arrives.
The boxes are given to families, after losing a baby, by miscarriage, still birth or shortly after birth. My mother's first born was still born almost 50 years ago. She would have loved to have had something tangible like a memory box to remember all the hopes and dreams that died with that baby.
I have never given a baby gift with a name on it. I used to make crochet blankets for all my friends' babies. Here nowadays most baby showers are held after the baby arrives.
12-29-2012, 08:31 PM
#14
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Northern VA
Posts: 283
My first response to this question was to also say wait. But I guess when I think about it, I think that you know them best, and know whether they still have a lot of fear of miscarriage or something going wrong with this pregnancy. Having struggled to get pregnant(5 IVF's and having a miscarriage) I know what it feels like to be fearful. You could ask them in a very sensitive way...or giving it at the baby shower would be another relatively safe time to present it. It is very nice that you have the empathy to think about this..
12-29-2012, 10:13 PM
#15
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Bosque County, Texas
Posts: 2,709
I would ask them. However, I lost a baby during a pregnancy and I wish I had something from the pregnancy as a keepsake. They already have the baby and they will always have that baby. If you put the name on the quilt, what will you do with it if the baby dies? Maybe the parents would like to have it to help give them tangible confidence. But whatever, why not ask them? You know they must have discussed this topic many, many times.
12-30-2012, 07:40 AM
#17
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: South Texas
Posts: 584
I would wait until the baby is actually here, especially if you are going to put the name on it. When my sister was expecting, she planned to name her daughter Rebecca. When the baby was born, my sister said she didn't "look" like a Rebecca, and named her Amy, instead.
12-30-2012, 10:19 AM
#18
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Join Date: May 2011
Location: Pacific NW
Posts: 9,556
Oooh, that's true, that's true! We had names picked out for our son (yes, the same one with the missing penis) and when he arrived, they didn't fit!
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