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Thread: Is this Cheating...

  1. #26
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    Oh good grief! Eleanor Burns shows how to use the backing as binding in one of her shows (it is probably in a book too) and if she is not a real quilter then I don't know who is.

  2. #27
    Senior Member jlong's Avatar
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    Moms come in all sizes and personalities. We have to prayerfully become a better mom to our kids. I too envy the gals and their moms who are close on this board. My Mom didn't like the quilt I made her and told me so with my husband in the room. I'm glad that he was there because I was so shocked, I had a hard time recalling the event. But he didn't. He told everyone,"Guess what my Mother in law said..." Up till then he was the one who would encourage me to visit and call. I went searching for it two months later while she was in the hospital and found it in a suitcase.

  3. #28
    Super Member bjnicholson's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marymac628
    Oh good grief! Eleanor Burns shows how to use the backing as binding in one of her shows (it is probably in a book too) and if she is not a real quilter then I don't know who is.
    I agree whole heartedly.

  4. #29
    Super Member butterflywing's Avatar
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    http://www.ehow.com/how_5091791_self...d-corners.html


    forward to your mother. there are loads more on the same subject, but just one should remind her that even mothers don't know everything.

    ( http://www.lorettaalvarado.com/binding.htm )
    ( http://www.quiltqua.com/articles/sel...tered-corners/ )

    sit down with your mom and ask her why she needs to make you feel small. the answer may surprise you, and the question may surprise her.

  5. #30
    Cyn
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    That seems to be like the smartest way for this one since the material is there!

  6. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by shawnemily
    There are no rules! It is your creation and you can make it any way you want!

    Agreed....

  7. #32
    Super Member hobo2000's Avatar
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    Living in WAshington,DC, I go to the Smithsonian ev ery chance I get to get my creativity kick. GueSshow the old, old quilts are finished? Right on, Baby! Tied and turned back binding. Next time she mentions it, let her know you are doing it the original way quilts were made. Don't let anyone upset yOu,ever.

  8. #33
    Jim
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    Its your quilt..its your creation...you do it any way you want and NO its not cheating

  9. #34
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    I can't afford to have mine long armed either, and I don't care. The people I will give them to will appreciate the warmth and love in them, and I really don't think they will care if they are perfect or not.

    As far as the binding goes, I think that the way you amending irbid very sensible and economical. Don't let her get to you. Quilting is supposed to be fun!

  10. #35
    NannySandy's Avatar
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    Sweet Deanna, there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with using the backing material for your binding, and tieing your quilts. Several of mine were done both ways. That's how quilts have been done for MANY years.

    I'm sorry your Mom is so negative to you. As you said, "rise above it". I know that can be hard sometimes, but when she is doing this, try closing your eyes, breath in and out, slowly, and think of something pleasant. Block her voice out. Have a good evening. Big hugs sent your way. Sandy

  11. #36
    Super Member Jan in VA's Avatar
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    Critical people are angry people. and angry people are scared people.
    Scared she can't do it at all.
    Scared she didn't teach you well enough (in anything).
    Scared of criticism that it isn't "right" so she doesn't do it at all (such as finish her own quilts).
    Scared if she doesn't criticize first she'll be criticized (for something she's done that she perceives is not good enough).

    Scared people need reassurance that they are in the presence of people who are quite confident/comfortable with what the scared person fears.....they need to see that *someone* isn't scared like they are. Be that person for your mother, maybe she'll eventually be able to relax and accept that you know exactly what you're doing. Or are at least compleely comfortable with how whatever is working out.

    Her comments are way more an indication of how she's feeling than how you're doing!

    Jan in VA

  12. #37
    Super Member leatheflea's Avatar
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    Next time she opens a can of soup, corn, green beans, or cooks anything from the store, tell her shes cheating.

  13. #38
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    One of a few ways to do binding, you're not cheating.

  14. #39
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    I have heard it called the "envelope" mdthod. If it's used enough to have a name, it's OK in my book.

  15. #40
    Super Member Leota's Avatar
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    Is it cheating or is it being FRUGAL and resourceful...

  16. #41
    Super Member sewingsuz's Avatar
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    Lots of people do the binding this way. Oh, I am really glad my Mom does not sew. I am the only one in my whole family.

  17. #42
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    Maybe you could ask her to pay the long arm quilter bill. That should wake her up!

    If we all did things the same way all the time, there would only be one kind of quilt and they would all look exactly alike. How boring that would be ! ! !

  18. #43
    Super Member BluegrassGurl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jan in VA
    Critical people are angry people. and angry people are scared people.
    Scared she can't do it at all.
    Scared she didn't teach you well enough (in anything).
    Scared of criticism that it isn't "right" so she doesn't do it at all (such as finish her own quilts).
    Scared if she doesn't criticize first she'll be criticized (for something she's done that she perceives is not good enough).

    Scared people need reassurance that they are in the presence of people who are quite confident/comfortable with what the scared person fears.....they need to see that *someone* isn't scared like they are. Be that person for your mother, maybe she'll eventually be able to relax and accept that you know exactly what you're doing. Or are at least compleely comfortable with how whatever is working out.

    Her comments are way more an indication of how she's feeling than how you're doing!

    Jan in VA
    Bravo!! Well said.... I wholeheartedly agree.

    You hang in there girl!

  19. #44
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    Quote Originally Posted by Airwick156
    I am doing binding on my quilt. There is enough of the backing fabric that I can just fold it over on all sides and hand sew it for the binding. My mother just called me and asked what I was doing and I told her that I was doing the binding on my quilt. And she proceeded to say "How are you doing it? You cheating and just folding it over or did you make real binding for it?" in just her normal mean voice she uses with me whenever she talks to me. I told her I just folded it over, no need to waste the fabric when its already there. And I can't afford to buy the extra fabric. So I use what I am able to use. I see no problem with this but she sure does and definitely makes me will aware of that fact.

    When I make a quilt, I complete the whole thing before I go onto the next one. I do have a few quilt tops, mostly lap quilts that I have not gotten the backing on. Now she has probably a hundred if not more Tops that will never get done as she only likes to make the tops. But yet she complains and tells me how to do my quilts. Most of the time I can remind myself to just "rise above it" and "this too shall pass" attitude, but this time it seems to have really upset me. Because not only did she say that she also told me that I was wasting all my time making quilts since I don't have the money to get them machine quilted. I tie all of them, but one day, I am going to be able to get one machine quilted. I don't think I am wasting my time not at all. I enjoy making them even though I am not very good at it, but I am learning maybe slowly but I am learning. Okay...that said..."this too shall pass" finally kicked in and now I'm waiting for "Rise above it". Maybe if I fix me a cup of hot tea that will help. LOL :) Thanks for letting me vent.

  20. #45
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    Quote Originally Posted by Airwick156
    I am doing binding on my quilt. There is enough of the backing fabric that I can just fold it over on all sides and hand sew it for the binding. My mother just called me and asked what I was doing and I told her that I was doing the binding on my quilt. And she proceeded to say "How are you doing it? You cheating and just folding it over or did you make real binding for it?" in just her normal mean voice she uses with me whenever she talks to me. I told her I just folded it over, no need to waste the fabric when its already there. And I can't afford to buy the extra fabric. So I use what I am able to use. I see no problem with this but she sure does and definitely makes me will aware of that fact.
    When I make a quilt, I complete the whole thing before I go onto the next one. I do have a few quilt tops, mostly lap quilts that I have not gotten the backing on. Now she has probably a hundred if not more Tops that will never get done as she only likes to make the tops. But yet she complains and tells me how to do my quilts. Most of the time I can remind myself to just "rise above it" and "this too shall pass" attitude, but this time it seems to have really upset me. Because not only did she say that she also told me that I was wasting all my time making quilts since I don't have the money to get them machine quilted. I tie all of them, but one day, I am going to be able to get one machine quilted. I don't think I am wasting my time not at all. I enjoy making them even though I am not very good at it, but I am learning maybe slowly but I am learning. Okay...that said..."this too shall pass" finally kicked in and now I'm waiting for "Rise above it". Maybe if I fix me a cup of hot tea that will help. LOL :) Thanks for letting me vent.

    Maybe you need a glass of wine instead of a cup of tea!! I understand some of your frustration. When I am with my mother, my nerves get frazzled because for everything, it is her way or it is not right--and it gets me crazy!.

  21. #46
    Super Member CAgirl1's Avatar
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    I am not an expert on all this, but if you are happy with how you are doing it, continue to do what makes you happy. You are completing quilts and that is all that matters.

  22. #47
    Super Member Charlee's Avatar
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    Like I told you in a pm... a QUILT is a QUILT whether it's tied, hand or machine quilted. A QUILT is STILL a QUILT no matter how it's bound, and even if it's not bound at all!!

  23. #48
    Super Member MistyMarie's Avatar
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    I just pillowcased a small quilt. I have only done that once before, but after doing two bindings last week, I just didn't feel like sitting down and hand-stitching a binding. A few weeks ago, I did what you're doing and turned the backing over onto the front and stitched it down. It wasn't perfect, but I didn't care. I think whatever works for you, do it.

    My mom gives me grief every time I give away a quilt. I get the "when am I going to get one" speech. It gets old. She is an artist and can turn out a painting in a few hours, so I have five or six of her oils in my house. She just doesn't get that making a quilt is MUCH more time consuming and expensive! I make mostly baby quilts and doll quilts because I just don't make the time to commit to larger projects. Not only that, she is very critical of my color choices (since she is a professional artist.) It drives me up a tree... which is probably why she doesn't own one of my quilts.

    I sympathize with you. I really do.

  24. #49
    Super Member Airwick156's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ConcreteSher
    OMG--you've broken a quilting RULE?? Off to quilter's prison with you! Perhaps you could remind your mother that your quilts are your creations and you will darn well make them any way you like! The enjoyment of the hobby comes from the creative process, and once you start imposing too many rules on that process you suck the life right out of it. Are you happy with your quilts? Are the recipients?

    Or, perhaps you could tell your mother that she's right, that you're going to give up quilting until you can afford to do it right . . . but that you're seriously considering becoming a stripper because not only is it a beautiful "art form" with no rules, but also so you can earn money to conform to hers!
    OH MY GOSH....That would put her in her grave if I told her I was going to become a stripper!!! Or at least give her a heart attack. LOL Thanks so much for making me laugh. :)

  25. #50
    community benefactor Renee110's Avatar
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    Every one of my grandmothers quilts that I have are done that way. Back folded to front. They are about 80 years old and are still lasting so I guess it's as secure as double binding.

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