Doing Happy Dance
03-14-2009, 06:20 PM
#51
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Location: Florida
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well, Rhonda, as a friend on here has said before, when we got sidetracked from original subject...she laughingly calls it, 'post hijacking'...think I am the guilty party.
not sure, but think the original thread kind of either faded out, or I hope, um, goodness, hugs to whoever started the post, my mind is "alice-ing" on me..(my aunt's word for alz-heimer's), hope you don't mind that the subject turned from just disability, but broadened a bit.
I think a lot of grandparents do what your describing, keeping children to give parents a break. I didn't have that. I kept my three younger brothers all the time, till I got married. My own three might have stayed with someone once or twice each, until they got to their teens and began sleepovers with friends, so I try to help my kids out all I can.
One of my girls, does like I did and has her kids on a schedule, so they have the security of routine and sleep habits are very important to children that get overstimulated etc. She does the majority of her stuff, while they are napping or have gone to bed.
anyway, it was nice that we got to talk about these things. We need an outlet for airing out our brains, so we can concentrate on the quilty stuff :wink:
not sure, but think the original thread kind of either faded out, or I hope, um, goodness, hugs to whoever started the post, my mind is "alice-ing" on me..(my aunt's word for alz-heimer's), hope you don't mind that the subject turned from just disability, but broadened a bit.
I think a lot of grandparents do what your describing, keeping children to give parents a break. I didn't have that. I kept my three younger brothers all the time, till I got married. My own three might have stayed with someone once or twice each, until they got to their teens and began sleepovers with friends, so I try to help my kids out all I can.
One of my girls, does like I did and has her kids on a schedule, so they have the security of routine and sleep habits are very important to children that get overstimulated etc. She does the majority of her stuff, while they are napping or have gone to bed.
anyway, it was nice that we got to talk about these things. We need an outlet for airing out our brains, so we can concentrate on the quilty stuff :wink:
03-14-2009, 07:38 PM
#52
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2007
Location: MIchigan
Posts: 527
It is quite alright thaqt you highjacked the conversation.
I HAVE fIBROMYALGIA and arthritis in most of my body. I look normal so people think I am just making up my illness. But believe me it is very real and it has taken almost 40 years to get help and support for it. Haave had even Doctors tell me it is all in my mind.
Bless you all for the good you do with the children
Linda D
I HAVE fIBROMYALGIA and arthritis in most of my body. I look normal so people think I am just making up my illness. But believe me it is very real and it has taken almost 40 years to get help and support for it. Haave had even Doctors tell me it is all in my mind.
Bless you all for the good you do with the children
Linda D
03-14-2009, 07:56 PM
#53
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Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 17,636
Originally Posted by grammo013
It is quite alright thaqt you highjacked the conversation.
I HAVE fIBROMYALGIA and arthritis in most of my body. I look normal so people think I am just making up my illness. But believe me it is very real and it has taken almost 40 years to get help and support for it. Haave had even Doctors tell me it is all in my mind.
Bless you all for the good you do with the children
Linda D
I HAVE fIBROMYALGIA and arthritis in most of my body. I look normal so people think I am just making up my illness. But believe me it is very real and it has taken almost 40 years to get help and support for it. Haave had even Doctors tell me it is all in my mind.
Bless you all for the good you do with the children
Linda D
One of my daughters has arthur's :wink: and she takes pain killers too, and she is in 30's with two small children. These are terrible diseases of the immune system.
I have a great allergy/immunologist that diagnosed me with multiple chemical sensitivities and I can't even begin to tell you what that did for me mentally. Took 11 years to get that dx. Grown, professional, doctors with degrees...shame on them...look at you like your nuts!!!
Oh can i commiserate with you on this. yes, dr.'s can be mean, even. Had one to tell me I needed 'head meds' :evil: . He was so mean to me, but I just sat and listened to him explode and never blinked and to give me satisfaction?...when he walked out, I said, "THANK YOU!" in an upbeat way, sort of calling it out as he went out the door. He knew I didn't mean it, cause he knew he didn't deserve it, but it was the only satisfaction I was going to get.
It's no doggone wonder you feel like happy dancing. I'll mental imagery, doing the snoopy dance with you...cha cha cha :lol: :lol: :lol:
P.S. thank you for not minding that we bunny trailed a bit on your thread. so nice of you.
03-14-2009, 08:26 PM
#54
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: AZ and CT
Posts: 4,898
Quiltncrazy - I like your term 'airing our brains.' My DDIL needs that frequently. When they move to VA they'll actually be closer to CT - the 6 hour drive is better than the 1 1/2 drive to the airport, the 2 hour flight to Chicago plus all the waiting & security stuff and the drive to their house in the Chicago suburbs.
Rhonda - our Charlie, the 9 year old, is also a 'runner' so I know what you mean about locking down the house. It's scary to have an autistic child who wants to get out of the house, and doesn't respond to his name being yelled, "Charlie, where are you?'
And all of you who are having trouble with docs being patronizing - patting you on the head or implying it's all in your head - one of the things we talk about over and over at my breast cancer support group is it's okay to fire your doctor! When they act like that, they're not doing you any good, and it's time to find one who will!
My Mom always told me to find doctors that were younger than me, so I did. Guess what - the GP I adored who is the same age as my kids retired from private practice last year and is now an ER doc. Blast and double blast! Thank goodness all the docs who are involved in my BC are younger than I am and haven't retired!
Rhonda - our Charlie, the 9 year old, is also a 'runner' so I know what you mean about locking down the house. It's scary to have an autistic child who wants to get out of the house, and doesn't respond to his name being yelled, "Charlie, where are you?'
And all of you who are having trouble with docs being patronizing - patting you on the head or implying it's all in your head - one of the things we talk about over and over at my breast cancer support group is it's okay to fire your doctor! When they act like that, they're not doing you any good, and it's time to find one who will!
My Mom always told me to find doctors that were younger than me, so I did. Guess what - the GP I adored who is the same age as my kids retired from private practice last year and is now an ER doc. Blast and double blast! Thank goodness all the docs who are involved in my BC are younger than I am and haven't retired!
03-15-2009, 05:06 AM
#55
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Location: Florida
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my goodness Joanne, you may have something there. I always went for the older dr.s cause I thought they were more experienced, but it does seem that by then so many are arrogant.
I just don't want my younger docs to be really good looking. Is that odd? That's not what your there for, but it kind of bothers me.
about the kids and lock down...I have one brother that used to love going naked...middle of grocery store, anywhere,...yanking those clothes off. He would strip, get a broom and use handle to push up chain lock on front door and run across the street to neighbors house. Back then, they didn't lock their doors. Surprise and good morning. What a wake up call!!! :lol:
I just don't want my younger docs to be really good looking. Is that odd? That's not what your there for, but it kind of bothers me.
about the kids and lock down...I have one brother that used to love going naked...middle of grocery store, anywhere,...yanking those clothes off. He would strip, get a broom and use handle to push up chain lock on front door and run across the street to neighbors house. Back then, they didn't lock their doors. Surprise and good morning. What a wake up call!!! :lol:
03-15-2009, 05:41 AM
#57
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Location: Salem Iowa
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Thank you for not minding that this conversation took the turn it did. That makes me feel less guilty! So very nice of you! :D
When Zach was littler he would wake up about 2am and stay up for 3 hours every night. My daughter Sara has 2 other children works in her husband's chiropractic clinic cub scout and girl scout leader and lots more stuff so she's on the go every day and she has fibromyalgia also. When she tried to get help from the doctors for Zach not sleeping the doctor accused her of just wanting to medicate him so she could sleep!! Duh if she doesn't sleep how can she take care of him and the rest of her family? It was hard on me and my husband also when we have him. He is on melatonin now which is the chemical that makes you sleep. His body does not make enough of it. I was angry for her that the doctor could be so unfeeling!!! She has had a very bad time with doctors but her kids are everything to her and she is a fighter!! She inherited from her dad that you don't wallk over me!! She also has a 10 year old posssibly may have aspergers(low form of autism) and a 6 year old daughter with Russel Silves Syndrome it is a growth disorder. She is very small for her age and has side issues like hypoglyzemia Sara is always going to the doctors!
I have really enjoyed sharing this conversation with people who care! :D
When Zach was littler he would wake up about 2am and stay up for 3 hours every night. My daughter Sara has 2 other children works in her husband's chiropractic clinic cub scout and girl scout leader and lots more stuff so she's on the go every day and she has fibromyalgia also. When she tried to get help from the doctors for Zach not sleeping the doctor accused her of just wanting to medicate him so she could sleep!! Duh if she doesn't sleep how can she take care of him and the rest of her family? It was hard on me and my husband also when we have him. He is on melatonin now which is the chemical that makes you sleep. His body does not make enough of it. I was angry for her that the doctor could be so unfeeling!!! She has had a very bad time with doctors but her kids are everything to her and she is a fighter!! She inherited from her dad that you don't wallk over me!! She also has a 10 year old posssibly may have aspergers(low form of autism) and a 6 year old daughter with Russel Silves Syndrome it is a growth disorder. She is very small for her age and has side issues like hypoglyzemia Sara is always going to the doctors!
I have really enjoyed sharing this conversation with people who care! :D
03-15-2009, 06:25 AM
#58
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Location: Florida
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Good for your daughter and her kids that she is a fighter.
Ppl just don't get the 'realities' of living with children with these traits.
It takes incredible amounts of patience, which we do lose, energy, which has to be renewed and the consistency/unpredictability of it all is exhausting.
Poor thing, no wonder she was looking for a way for both of them to sleep. It's mind boggling to me, that a doctor could think a mother just wants to drug her child, but I have seen so much.
There are support groups, but who has time?...and sometimes for just a little bit, a person needs to be able to think about something else.
I know ppl who are just adamant about 'no meds' for a child. One friend whose daughter has adhd had her on meds, and she was doing so much better in school etc. i practically begged her to go get the counseling that was free to her...but, her family threw fits over the meds and shamed her. She took daughter off of meds, and now four years later, the little girl is the reason no one will spend time with the mother.
She acts like she is the child's friend and lets her run all over her. The daughter is nine and physically somewhat pushes her mother around and is allowed to be very...she is very impulsive and the whole thing has taken quite a toll on the child's self esteem. She has gained a lot of weight bc she insists on everything being her own way and won't eat anything but junk food, which in turn makes her behavior worse.
She is a physically very pretty little girl, friendly and I'm sure she is bright, underneath all that. Most of these children are very intelligent.
They just have trouble getting it out.
Oh, I am on a roll again, but you can see, these things really touch my heart.
Ppl just don't get the 'realities' of living with children with these traits.
It takes incredible amounts of patience, which we do lose, energy, which has to be renewed and the consistency/unpredictability of it all is exhausting.
Poor thing, no wonder she was looking for a way for both of them to sleep. It's mind boggling to me, that a doctor could think a mother just wants to drug her child, but I have seen so much.
There are support groups, but who has time?...and sometimes for just a little bit, a person needs to be able to think about something else.
I know ppl who are just adamant about 'no meds' for a child. One friend whose daughter has adhd had her on meds, and she was doing so much better in school etc. i practically begged her to go get the counseling that was free to her...but, her family threw fits over the meds and shamed her. She took daughter off of meds, and now four years later, the little girl is the reason no one will spend time with the mother.
She acts like she is the child's friend and lets her run all over her. The daughter is nine and physically somewhat pushes her mother around and is allowed to be very...she is very impulsive and the whole thing has taken quite a toll on the child's self esteem. She has gained a lot of weight bc she insists on everything being her own way and won't eat anything but junk food, which in turn makes her behavior worse.
She is a physically very pretty little girl, friendly and I'm sure she is bright, underneath all that. Most of these children are very intelligent.
They just have trouble getting it out.
Oh, I am on a roll again, but you can see, these things really touch my heart.
03-15-2009, 07:22 AM
#59
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Newfoundland, Canada
Posts: 2,605
Congratulations Linda!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's a great feeling when you get a cheque like that. I received my settlement cheque in January from my lawyer from a nasty car accident I was in 2 1/2 years ago. I managed to get myself debt free, no credit card payments and no student loan!!!!!!!!!!! Then I just put a downpayment on a house that will be closing this coming Thursday if all goes well!! The rest of the money will go towards moving, paint and other light renos to my new house!!! I too did a bit of fun shopping when I got the money!!
ENJOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cheers
Andrea
It's a great feeling when you get a cheque like that. I received my settlement cheque in January from my lawyer from a nasty car accident I was in 2 1/2 years ago. I managed to get myself debt free, no credit card payments and no student loan!!!!!!!!!!! Then I just put a downpayment on a house that will be closing this coming Thursday if all goes well!! The rest of the money will go towards moving, paint and other light renos to my new house!!! I too did a bit of fun shopping when I got the money!!
ENJOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cheers
Andrea
03-15-2009, 07:29 AM
#60
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Location: Salem Iowa
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As you say some autistic kids are very intelligent just locked in their own world. We are constantly having to outsmart Zach He is great at opening locks so we had to get a two key deadbolt lock for the doors so I could lock it and hide the key we also have hook and eyes on the screen doors up high for the summer so I can open the doors for air. But he gets a chair and pushes it over there. That does give me time to get there usually. We also have a door locked between the living room and the kitchen so he can't run water all over or get hurt when the oven is on. It is all aabout keeping him safe and teaching him social and self help skills like staying in our yard and not the neighbors. He takes 24/7 supervision and that means always knowing where his is and what he is doing. You can't step outside you can't go to the bathroom without having someone keep an eye on him. My husband and my mopm help me but Sara is usually on her own but Joey the 10 yr old helps her alot. The dad is a chiropractor and volunteeer fireman and raises a truck garden and is always on the run but he does help when he can.
zach's sister is 6 and she has a hard time she resents Zach a lot and she used to bite him to express her anger.
It is a stressful situation for the kids also that's why we try to plan time for the other two to have mom and dad's attention. I am Sara's only care giver for Zach so I try to help. He has a government waiver that helps with buying sensory stuff and anything that will help him.
zach's sister is 6 and she has a hard time she resents Zach a lot and she used to bite him to express her anger.
It is a stressful situation for the kids also that's why we try to plan time for the other two to have mom and dad's attention. I am Sara's only care giver for Zach so I try to help. He has a government waiver that helps with buying sensory stuff and anything that will help him.
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