Jim

I honestly can't believe that it hurts to tell someone what they have done is nice.....there are so many skill levels that we are all on...from early beginners to advanced quilters. What does it hurt anyone to offer encouraging words and praise to a beginne. They may have a few points off or a block a bit wonky...comfirmation is whats needed...so why not give a bit of praise...its a learning process and without the encouragement of a friendly group like this, a would be, someday accomplished quilter may not ever develop, if nothing but sarcastic criticisms are given. We were all beginners at one time and when we got a few attaboys and good jobs, we sure felt good about them. So if you can't offer that, then move on and and say nothing and hope the next time you post something you get a few "Nice Jobs and beautiful work"....Kindness costs nothing

eashka

In reading the comments about criticism or complements I felt that I wanted to say something. I haven't known about this site very long but have been impressed by the encouragement. This is a hobby for people and if we don't make prize winning quilts...who cares. If it is something that we obtain pleasure and serenity from then it is a blessing. If I post something and you feel that it needs improvement please PM me as my feelings won't be hurt. I like to improve but I would just die if you said something like "that is the ugliest quilt I have ever seen or none of the seams match". I would never come back and then I would never learn new stuff. The LQS charges too much for classes and I have learned so much here for free. Thanks for the help!

Jingle

If I don't like what I see, I just don't say anything.

Who is so perfect that they can judge someone else's work???

stitchntimesewing

The only ones who can say someones quilt is poorly made or the color choice the other person has made is wrong are the quilt police. Other than that lets just be gracious. If someone is posting a pic of their latest accomplishment unless it is for the ugliest fabric contest, then I would say they are proud and pleased with their choices unless specifically asking for Help. One persons colors are not someone elses colors. Anyone who takes the time and efffort to complete a quilt is deserving of a gracious comment. That is my anti quilt police statement and I will stand by it.

GladGrams

There is a big difference between false praise and encouragement. We are all (or most of us) are still in the earlier phases of our quilting journey and we value the encouragement we are given.

I think that when someone asks for creative suggestions about their work, then it is okay to give them your ideas. No one can develop without someone who is willing to help them see areas where they need to work.

The value of a piece of art is truly in the eye of the beholder. There are pieces (famous) of art that I think are horrible and would never want in my home while other pay a great deal of money for them. I keep this in mind when I look at the quilts.

With much respect.

19angel52

I do like your response. I quit quilting for awhile just because of some very unkind remarks made about blocks I made for a quilt club's lottery blocks. I was a newbie and I must have made 5 blocks for every block I finally took in (I took in 3). All the blocks were laid on the table anonymously. Were my blocks terrible? It's been so long that I honestly cannot remember - but I surely did not merit that kind of discouragement. So in essence - I do believe if you cannot say anything nice, don't say anything at all. And if someone asks you for guidance - give it lovingly.

Boxer mom

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" Who are we to tell them it is ugly, they liked the colors and patterns on the material enough that they made it. Yes we should help them by suggesting a brighter color on one peice or maybe a a different border. But we should not tell them it is ugly just because "WE" don't like it.

be a quilter

Doghousemom said: When I see a pic of a first quilt or block by a new quilter, and their post starts with something like 'yippee - look what I did!' ... the block could be totally wonky but I wouldn't dare say a word. At that point of "oh my God I actually sewed a bunch of pieces together" - let them have that glory. I would prefer to see them retain that excitement and passion over the possibility of dashing it by saying it isn't right (which may make them think quilting is just too hard!). If they decide they love quilting they'll be seeing more quilts, the more they see the more they'll see the differences, and hopefully the more they will learn.[/quote]

I agree with dog house mom.
Does anyone start out with a perfect quilt? or make the second, third or next one perfect (but maybe they have improved a skill), or even make a perfect quilt everytime after many years experience? We all have our challenges, hopefully we learn from them.
Encouragement is different than false praise. I won't say anything if I can't say it honestly and won't critique unless asked.

jitkaau

As long as people give an honest, constructive opinion that is not rudely put, I think things should be acceptable.One can accept or disregard suggestions. However, if we live in an 'echo chamber' and only hear what we want to hear all of the time, we cannot look at things in objective ways. The best criticism I got from a quilting teacher/judge was followed up by constructive criticism about how she thought my quilts could be improved and it was well warranted even though they were fairly nice quilts.I continue to improve because of this.

Christine27

I like people's comments that point out than quilting is partly about the journey. I mostly know where my skill level is and I definitely know when I look at something that is way out of my league. Because I'm a beginner, should I not even try? Is there no place in this world for my humble creations?

This is about more than quilting. This is my philosophy of life. There is room for all of us- from the jaw-droppingly beautiful to the lumpy and bumpy. To say that there is no value in the less than perfect is to discredit humanity. Who is to say that good can not come from my humble creation? Will it win a ribbon? Probably not, but will it keep the chair's upholstery clean? Sure!

Now, as others have pointed out, when advice is sought, absolutely, it should be given honestly with loving kindness. When someone is ready to celebrate their accomplishments, we should also lovingly celebrate with them.

Can you imagine not applauding a child's first attempts to walk on her own but instead critiquing her on how she can improve her coordination and balance?

My baby steps are just that, my baby steps! They are my experience in creativity and in structure. They are my sincere attempts to create something useful that will adorn my little slice of the world. Now, if I try to sell or push one of my "creations" off on you, you have the right to say, "No thank you" or even "What in the world were you thinking?" Otherwise, a comment of "good trying!" is sufficient!

This has been one of the most supportive communities, virtual or otherwise, that I've ever encountered. I love the level of support and the atmosphere of friendship. It is a refuge from the "quilt police" voices, whether those of friends, acquaintances, or the voices in my head! The quilt police voices in my head tell me not to bother creating or at least, don't show or tell anyone because my creations aren't perfect and therefore not good enough to publicly acknowledge. The QB message is that it is good enough to share, because I'm doing the best that I know how to do. My next project will be better because of what I've learned while working on my last project.

That is my soapbox! Perfection is a fabulous goal, but to deny any sort of value for something or someone that is imperfect is a tragic life mistake.