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Thread: Having been in here in over a month

  1. #26
    Jamie's Avatar
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    No caffine!! Sorry wouldn't make it through the morning...I am cutting back, and adding more water though...I'm a bit of a coffee snob! It's an all day thing for me..even have a cup before bed...But i did decide in the mean time to cut back, and flush things out. Summer vacation for the kids starts next week..and I just can't survive without some coffee..:)

  2. #27
    Jamie's Avatar
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    I don't generaly beat myself up over anything...but I also don't have anyone I can really talk to...all my friends tend to talk more than listen..and "hubby" works full time, goes to school full time, and has countless health issues right now himself...he doesn't have the time or energy to listen....I'm use to being the fondation and taking care of everything..I think just not having been able to get anything out into the open and talked about is just weighing on me to hard.

  3. #28
    Super Member omak's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jamie
    No caffine!! Sorry wouldn't make it through the morning...I am cutting back, and adding more water though...I'm a bit of a coffee snob! It's an all day thing for me..even have a cup before bed...But i did decide in the mean time to cut back, and flush things out. Summer vacation for the kids starts next week..and I just can't survive without some coffee..:)
    LOL ... trust me! I know coffee cups and coffee from am to pm and beyond!
    Cutting back is good. And, the more water you drink, the more you will enjoy it. Just think of your coffee drinking as a habit (I always have a solution ) ... the process is, pouring, sitting down, picking up cup, taking a sip, setting the cup down ... pour a pitcher of water, and pour from the frig instead of the maker. If it will help :idea: put the coffee maker in the frig. ( just a thought :wink: )
    Hey! You aren't going to believe this, but when I was working over Idaho way, I ran into a family who had an ADHD kiddo - - they didn't call it that, then (obviously) ... anyway, they would give the boy a cup of coffee in the morning, in the afternoon, and at night ... it really did calm him down. I was skeptical, to say the least, but sometimes, what doesn't seem to make sense is exactly what will work - - some of us are wired differently ... it's summer, mom, could it possibly hurt to share some of your coffee once in awhile??? :lol:

  4. #29
    Super Member omak's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jamie
    I don't generaly beat myself up over anything...but I also don't have anyone I can really talk to...all my friends tend to talk more than listen..and "hubby" works full time, goes to school full time, and has countless health issues right now himself...he doesn't have the time or energy to listen....I'm use to being the fondation and taking care of everything..I think just not having been able to get anything out into the open and talked about is just weighing on me to hard.
    ahhhh .... it is hard to resign as master of the universe, eh?
    Have you ever heard this one?
    Of course, I talk to myself! I am the ONLY one around here who makes any sense!
    (yes, I have spent a lot of time talking to myself ) Believe me when I tell you that nothing I suggest hasn't been used in my life ... I use it ALL!

  5. #30
    Power Poster Prism99's Avatar
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    It's no wonder you're having a hard time getting to the sewing room with all this stuff going on!

    My suggestion is to walk every day. It really does help with calming down the body and the mind. The hardest thing about it, for me anyway, is actually getting up and starting to walk. Afterwards I am always glad I did it. If I walk long enough (usually an hour), I sleep much better during the night and wake up feeling better.

    If there's someone who would walk with you regularly, that can make it easier to actually get out and do it every day.

  6. #31
    Super Member omak's Avatar
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    Walking is a good idea.
    I was thinking about how to explain do the "little things" ... because the little things add up to bigger things ... and the walking idea is terrific!
    Won't your kids think you are something else when you walk with them around the block three or four times a day?

    I watch the Dog Whisperer, and there is a lot of what he teaches that is almost universal among animals and humans, just on different levels.
    He runs into dogs from time to time, that are just frozen in the "off" position. They do all kinds of bad things to express their frustration over life and living, but things change when you can take them out for a walk.
    And, some of them just have to be encouraged to take the FIRST step ...
    For us humans, we get so focused on everything going on around us that is beyond our control, we get frozen, too ... It is like we are so busy looking at our feet we can't see anything going on three feet in any direction of ourselves.
    Taking a walk a couple times a day (even if it is just around the block) changes our perspective, and how we look at things around us.
    It also helps break us out of the rut.

  7. #32
    Super Member omak's Avatar
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    The Five Minute Rule

    Sometimes, we just have to be free to FEEL exactly what we want to feel and how we want to feel it.
    Pity party, sadness, anger, emotion of any kind. God built us with emotions, so He obviously has a use for them. Part of which may very well be to understand empathy ...

    The five minute rule is this: You get to feel whatever you want to feel for five minutes, just exactly the way you want to feel it, as long as you do no damage to anyone else while feeling it. Go ahead, feel sorry for yourself, beat yourself up, explain to yourself how you alone are responsible for the starving people of Ethiopia, or spend time explaining to God, why He is not being very fair with all this stuff.

    But, ONLY for FIVE minutes.
    At the end of five minutes, you have GOT to get up and go do something constructive, usually for someone else.

    The secret to the whole process is limiting the amount of time you absolutely give in to whatever you are feeling, and then GETTING UP and going to do something different.

    Practice those two steps and your outlook on life changes.

    And, you may do this twice every hour or every fifteen minutes ... then, I would caution yourself to only allow yourself to go there once an hour, or ONLY after you have completed a task .... washing a load of clothes, loading the dryer, folding the clean clothes, and putting them away, and THEN you get to go on an emotional roller coaster for five minutes.

    The point is: You control your emotions ... do not allow them to control you.
    Our basic human self is not very good for our well-being ... we seem to work overtime to defeat and demoralize ourselves.
    The only thing I have found that makes the outcome different is to do something constructive ...

  8. #33
    Jamie's Avatar
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    Thank you guys so much!! Really...I sat here and cryed my eyes out for a good 30 min, then with the tears and all of your kindness I started to feel better.....I don't really have much time for self pity....and I am a very active person...actualy I am trying desperatly to Gain some weight right now ( Yes thats right gain ) I have a high thyroid which makes keeping weight impossible, and I end up a 93 lb stick! But I do walk...actualy just the amount of times I go up and downstairs in a single day is more excersice then most people need in a week lol
    I've always kept a very positive attitude, and I am always there to help everyone and anyone around me who is in need...I just have Never taken that help before. Actualy I don't really know how to except gifts and kindness from others, since I'm usualy the one giving..But none the less...Thank you all so very much!!! I think maybe with a truck load of chocolate, and some new projects to work on I will feel better in no time :)))

  9. #34
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    Hi Jamie,

    I hope you feel better soon. In case nobody has mentioned it already, see if you can find someone to swap fabric with you and get some library books on something new about quilting and go wild with it.

    Good luck

  10. #35
    Super Member omak's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jamie
    Thank you guys so much!! Really...I sat here and cryed my eyes out for a good 30 min, then with the tears and all of your kindness I started to feel better.....I don't really have much time for self pity....and I am a very active person...actualy I am trying desperatly to Gain some weight right now ( Yes thats right gain ) I have a high thyroid which makes keeping weight impossible, and I end up a 93 lb stick! But I do walk...actualy just the amount of times I go up and downstairs in a single day is more excersice then most people need in a week lol
    I've always kept a very positive attitude, and I am always there to help everyone and anyone around me who is in need...I just have Never taken that help before. Actualy I don't really know how to except gifts and kindness from others, since I'm usualy the one giving..But none the less...Thank you all so very much!!! I think maybe with a truck load of chocolate, and some new projects to work on I will feel better in no time :)))
    I have been gone all afternoon doing a Gazebo Bash at the Post (that is a yard sale with attitude ) .. just got online and found your post.
    Good job!
    Sometimes, we think: If I were a more capable person, I would never cry, I would never feel one way or the other, I would always know all of the answers. If I really were a woman fully growed, I would never have to ask for help from anyone, not even my mom and dad!

    I remember working the coffee counter at the restaurant one morning in my hometown. I was standing off to the side while the men talked to each other. Most of them, I had gone to school with. I don't remember exactly what was said, but I had a light bulb moment - - I was almost thirty years old and life was not going the way I thought it should.
    I could definitely point to some mistakes I had made along the way (I think I have only been innocent three times in my life - - most of my damage has been done by me to me, so!)
    I am standing at the waitress station, thinking about this phenomenon, and then I realized what was happening.
    I had just discovered a truthful fact of life!
    For some reason, I thought that when I graduated from high school, I would know exactly what to do every step of the way. Somewhere, I had gotten the notion that by the time I was thirty, I would have no more questions, and the reality was - - I had LOTS of questions!
    Everything about life and living was one big question ...
    and the lesson was: the questions are part of life and living. We will NEVER be old enough to know everything, we will always do a lot of personal introspection.
    The thing that makes life so exciting is the same thing that makes life so difficult ... crossroads - - every decision is made at a crossroad.
    Or, how about this? Did you figure you should always have a reason for everything you ever did in your life? I NEVER wanted to tell my children - - Because I TOLD you!
    reality? I finally had to say "Because I TOLD you!" (The neighbors were starting to talk about what it meant to have me telling my kids "Of course, you can - - your eyes are brown." Or, "Your eyes are brown. You cannot do it!")
    The point is: sometimes, our expectations of life are different from reality.
    It doesn't matter who is to blame for how we got to where we are ... we only have one person we can truly control and account for - - and, the wonderful thing is: God doesn't expect YOU to account for MY actions ... it really is between just you and God.

    I am sorry that you had to cry, but I am so glad that you gave yourself permission to just feel whatever it was you wanted to feel.
    Okay, so it was a bit longer than five minutes, but the amount of time isn't the key, Jaime ... the key is to make sure that you know when to let it start and when to make it stop ... as long as you drink enough water, you will always be able to cry if that is what you are feeling ...
    But, you did good ...
    Is it time for the other part of the five minute rule??? LOL

  11. #36
    Super Member omak's Avatar
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    When my mom and dad were first married, she had a horse accident that left her comatose for three days.
    Her concussion was so bad that for many weeks, the folks had to live with his parents.
    As it turned out, Dad's family did a lot to help their eldest son make a go in a number of things, babysitting grandchildren, having family dinners, and my mother asked Grandmother one day, "How can I ever pay you back for all you have done?"
    My Grandmother said, "You can't. But, one day you will be able to help someone else, and I would expect that you would remember how you received help and reach out to help someone else."

    Kapiche?

  12. #37
    Moderator sharon b's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by omak
    "How can I ever pay you back for all you have done?"
    My Grandmother said, "You can't. But, one day you will be able to help someone else, and I would expect that you would remember how you received help and reach out to help someone else."

    Kapiche?
    So true.. pay it forward...Maybe someday you will be able to help someone else out and that is what this is all about :lol:
    Sharon

  13. #38
    Super Member Kyiav10's Avatar
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    Jamie, I am so sorry to hear about you feeling down!! I hope that you will consult with your doctor to hopefully find out the cause of this.

    Just a suggestion but try exorcising if you don't already. That sometimes helps.

    I sent you a PM.

    Kyia

  14. #39
    Power Poster Prism99's Avatar
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    I got to thinking about this, and I think it's very important that you get your medical problems taken care of immediately. If you don't protect your health, you will be unable to protect your children.

    If I am understanding correctly, you have a hyper-active thyroid that is not completely under control with medication and a lump that has not been biopsied. As I see it, lack of money should not be a reason to postpone taking care of these medical issues. Especially in these times, doctors and hospitals are willing to extend very reasonable payment plans. Even if you end up in bankruptcy because of medical bills, your children will be better off with you alive and healthy.

    Hyper-thyroidism that is not controlled can undermine your health and make any other illness harder to get over. The lump may just be a cyst, but the mental stress of wondering about it adds to the other unavoidable stresses you have had to endure. If it's worse than a cyst, early treatment is much more successful than late treatment.

    Consider who is going to get custody of your children if something happens to you! To protect your children, you really need to take care of your health issues now.

  15. #40
    Super Member quiltnut4ever's Avatar
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    that is cute, I'm going to try it!

  16. #41
    Super Member quiltnut4ever's Avatar
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    Jamie I know how you feel. I'm just starting the healing and grieving process over my divorce this year and at times I find no motivation for anything. I've lately been looking at the quilts and comments on this board and it is so helpful in a hopeless time. But I am going to try to at least finish one project tomorrow, which is my day off. {{{{HUGS}}} KEEP YOUR CHIN UP!

  17. #42
    Super Member quiltnut4ever's Avatar
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    ignore the cute quote I sent it to the wrong post! sorry :(

  18. #43
    Super Member b.zang's Avatar
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    Sometimes the only thing left to do is cry. Rage against everything. What you need is within you and tears are the pathway that knowledge flows on. Even if there is no sudden idea, you'll feel better.

    I used to keep a journal with "this too will pass" written on the front. Everything that got me down went into that journal and just knowing that as huge and horrible as it all seemed at the time, those words on the front stood there as a promise about whatever I put inside.

    Do your kids play with dolls? I used to make lots and lots of clothes for my kids to dress their Barbies and GI Joes with. Maybe not the height of creativity, but satisfying for all of us and not a huge material-user.

  19. #44
    Super Member Shemjo's Avatar
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    My heart aches for you. If you don't take time for yourself, you will not have time for anyone else! Get your health issues taken care of immediately! :lol:

  20. #45
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    Jamie-For your health issues, there must be some non profit hospital somewhere in your area. I would check around and ask. Also, ask your doctor, sometimes they will refer you to a doctor who will see you and your family without cost or according to how much money you make. Please don't put the breast exam/mammogram off, it's better to catch it earlier if it's cancer, if it's not, then it's a huge load off your shoulders. There's lots of good ideas that are possible, you just have to decide what you can do. Please feel free to vent anytime-believe me, if I had 4 kids, I would be venting all the time.

  21. #46
    Senior Member Kara's Avatar
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    Visit quiltville.com for some scrappy ideas. She has free patterns there.

    Here are:
    Hugs to get you out of your funk.
    And a Kick in the butt to get you sewing again.

    I know how hard the funk can be when you're there. Four children. Life. Everything seems to drag you down. Eat some chocolate, tie the children to chairs, wear some earplugs (or crank the music up) and sew. :D


  22. #47
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    No words of wisdom Jamie, just hang in there and as long as it's not a physical health concern hopefully it will pass. In the past 3 years I've had two periods of major depression, not like me at all; the first was at a very stressful time but the second, fairly recently, had no cause. I even spoke with my doctor about it. He asked me very seriously if I was ever happy and yes, I was, and he said this was a normal thing that happens sometimes and if I didn't feel better in a reasonable period of time, let him know. With 4 young children you must always have stressful times but hopefully you're also happy some time so wait and see what happens. And think about the people on this board who are thinking good thoughts for you. And here's another hug.

  23. #48
    Junior Member N.J.linda's Avatar
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    :( Last year I went thru something similar. I went two months without going near my sewing room. It all ended one morning when my faithful quilting companion (my cat) sat in the doorway of the sewing room meowing, seems she missed our time together sewing. So I went in, moved things around and the feel of fabric inspired both of us. So I would love to send you a squishey package to get you back on creativity. What is your favorite color?????

  24. #49
    SNUGQUILT's Avatar
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    Jamie,

    I too have a HUGE stash and would love to share...I had 4 little ones at one time too (they're all now grown :( ), so I know it can be stressful....I'm at a point in my life though that I'm ENJOYING grandchildren. If you give me your address, I would LOVE to send a package to brighten up a day!

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