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Thread: How to make time aka DD coming home from college

  1. #1
    Super Member 978gray's Avatar
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    Well my DD will be arriving home from college today and I fear my quilting time wil lhave to take a hiatus for the summer.

    I had not sewn for years due to "keepig up with the kids" and certianly enjoyed the past year with both kids out of the house.

    Ideas on how to cope with the return of a college student and quilting will be greatly appreciated.

  2. #2
    Super Member Rebecca VLQ's Avatar
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    Hmmmmm...that's a good one. Depends on how you do it now...do you just quilt whenever? Or certain days? Certain times of the day?

    Setting your expectation in the beginning will help your college student to respect your time/space. Say you like to quilt in the mornings, then tell them so. Like, "I usually grab a cup of joe and wander around The Studio, so if you'd like to go XYZ in the afternoon, that would be fun!" or, if they say, "Hey, I made an appointment to have my teeth cleaned on Friday at 10am" then you can say, "Ooh...do you need help getting there? Because I can't do it in the morning, but I'm available in the afternoon...can you call them to see if they can reschedule?"

    If they try to just make you "drop everything" this will be yet another life lesson..."I'm sorry honey, I can't do that right now. But I can do it at X time..."

  3. #3
    Power Poster cjomomma's Avatar
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    The way I see it is that college age kids can take care of themselves. Let them know that you are not their slave any more and that you will continue to do your thing even when they are home.

  4. #4
    Super Member sewcrafty's Avatar
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    Do you think there is any possibility that you could get her interested in quilting? Might be a fun and memorable experience.

  5. #5
    Power Poster BellaBoo's Avatar
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    How will she interfere with your quilting time? When my girls were home for the summer I rarely saw them!

  6. #6
    Super Member beachlady's Avatar
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    Won't she be working a summer job?

  7. #7
    Power Poster dkabasketlady's Avatar
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    I'm with BellaBoo, my college kids were so busy catching up with their friends, I didn't see them very much, but their laundry was another matter,lol!! At least I knew they were home some of the time.

  8. #8
    Super Member 978gray's Avatar
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    I work full time so I spend about an hour a day quilt - my down time after dinner. Hopefully she matured this year away from home, but prior to going to college she was like my appendage - wherever I was she was - she is very very shy so did not go out much. When I quilt I like to be ALONE very ALONE... I do not even like it when my husband wants to keep me company.

    I'm thinking that I'll just say that I need from 7 - 8 pm each night as my time. Hopefully that will work.

  9. #9
    Super Member Butterflyblue's Avatar
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    She's in college, and can reasonably be expected to amuse herself, in my opinion. And I bet two semesters away from home has helped her be more independent.

  10. #10
    Super Member raptureready's Avatar
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    Remember that she's used to her independence too and she considers herself an adult now, not a child to be taken care of. If she's not working while she home then perhaps she should take over some of the household chores giving you MORE time to sew. Sharing the chores will give both of you more time to enjoy each other and individual interests. If she gets a job then sew while she's working. If she insists on being an appendage then buy her a machine. Set boundaries right off the bat and tell her that you're taking a few hours a day to sew---ALONE.

  11. #11
    Super Member Mamagus's Avatar
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    I don't do a lot of sewing summer time but having my kids "visit" stops me solid. If they were moving in for the summer, they'd be doing their share of the housework, all their own laundry and half the cooking!! And then I'd hide in the sewing room and sew sew sew!

  12. #12
    Super Member LoisN's Avatar
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    My daughter moved her stuff home from college last night and then left for the evening. With work and a couple of trips that she has planned, I don't think I'll be seeing her all that much. I'm thinking that you'll have more time than you imagine. Good luck. My kids really don't understand that I like being alone in my quilting room. go figure!

  13. #13
    Super Member Maride's Avatar
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    She will probably be out with her friends and the time she is home, she will be either on the phone or on-line catching up with her new college friends. I see a free summer for you. You may need to make an appointment to see her. I found that every year my daughter had less and less friends at home and spent more time at home, but not necessarily with me.

  14. #14
    Moderator sharon b's Avatar
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    Or if it appears that she wants to be stuck at the hip again, explain that you have a new routine ( since she went to college) and you require at least an hour in the evening to unwind from work and what not to relax. She should understand , just be firm.

  15. #15
    Moderator Jim's Gem's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Maride
    She will probably be out with her friends and the time she is home, she will be either on the phone or on-line catching up with her new college friends. I see a free summer for you. You may need to make an appointment to see her. I found that every year my daughter had less and less friends at home and spent more time at home, but not necessarily with me.
    This has been my experience as well. They are so busy catching up will all their friends. However, I do find that they tend to leave their stuff all over the house and so there is a little bit of angst getting them to remove their dirty socks or shoes or their laptops from the coffee table when you have guests coming over!!!

    I love having my kids home. They are fairly good at spending time with us and having dinner with us. My daughter loves to host "card nights" and has a dozen to 15 of us (we are usually invited cause it's our house) for a pot luck dinner and cards. We have great time with them and all their friends.

  16. #16
    Super Member Quilter7x's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sharon b
    Or if it appears that she wants to be stuck at the hip again, explain that you have a new routine ( since she went to college) and you require at least an hour in the evening to unwind from work and what not to relax. She should understand , just be firm.
    Not only should she understand, but it would be an hour for her to find ways to become a more independent young lady. It would actually be good for her to be separated from you for a short time each day.

    Just don't stop quilting! :)

  17. #17
    Super Member dotcomdtcm's Avatar
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    I do sympathize! My daughter is coming home next weekend. For at least a year. I know her job hunting will require a lot of TLC and time. Fortunately, our apartment has always been a haven for her friends. DD wanted to change her bedroom around from high school to post-grad. Picked out the color with former boyfriend. I balk at repainting. I did make a surprise quilt to hang behind the bed to give it a new feel. Wondering how all of her stuff can be stored for the day she gets her own place! Fortunately, my kids are proud of my quilting. Being a single mom and putting 3 through college gave me little time to do my own thing. And they know that you are supposed to learn new things as you age. So quilting can give me more time on this planet to be their dedicated mom. Incidentally my daughter went to Hunter HS, recently in the news with the Elena Kagan nominatioin. I hope this will encourage her to follow her own dream. Dreadful economy. My biggest question is how much spending money for the unemployed Class of 2010!

  18. #18
    Moderator littlehud's Avatar
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    My youngest was happiest when she was with me but a year at college changed that. She still has fun with me but wants her own space and respects mine. It was great.

  19. #19
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    Just tell her you have gotten in the lovely habit of being able to quilt an hour or so a day and you'll be available when you're done! I am trying to practice what I preach because I will have 3 daughters coming home from college shortly and 1 still around in high school (she's the one I never see!)
    Now if I could just find someone to clean my house - that's the never ending companion !
    Have fun with your daughter - I'm sure she's a gem :)

  20. #20
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    Well maybe she will like to learn to quilt too. BUT it is my experience that kids that age wont be home that much anyway.You should have time for yourself. Jolo

  21. #21
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    They are big enought to care for themselves and could work??
    In any case, set aside time for yourself - have fun

  22. #22

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    I am agreeing with everyone, do your thing and remind her she can take care of herself and even help out around the house too. Also, since she is home from college, she will probably want to hang out with her friends so you probably will have more time then you think!!!! Good luck!!!

    ~Sylvia~

  23. #23
    Super Member quiltingfan's Avatar
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    I ditto what everyone is saying. They tend to change while away at college, and it probably wont be like you imagine at all. Have fun this summer with her and with your quilting.

  24. #24
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    I can relate...I have 2 DDs home from college! Both will be working this summer and I will be home (I teach school.) I do find that my sewing room becomes a storage space for their 'overflow' and I really do not sew as much as I would like. I would say, just set a routine...if you want to sew alone from 7-8, or 9, every evening....just do it. Your DD can find something else to entertain herself....suggest she go for a walk, go play tennis, read a book, whatever she likes to do. I intend to sew in the afternoons while it is hot and nobody is home. Then in the evenings, I will be free to do things with my girls, if they want. Enjoy!

  25. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by raptureready
    Remember that she's used to her independence too and she considers herself an adult now, not a child to be taken care of. If she's not working while she home then perhaps she should take over some of the household chores giving you MORE time to sew. Sharing the chores will give both of you more time to enjoy each other and individual interests. If she gets a job then sew while she's working. If she insists on being an appendage then buy her a machine. Set boundaries right off the bat and tell her that you're taking a few hours a day to sew---ALONE.
    Excellent advice.

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