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Thread: If I got paid for...

  1. #1
    Super Member leatheflea's Avatar
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    ....All my mistakes this week I would be out buying more fabric. Which I now need due to my senior blonde brain farts.

    Excitement just rages inside me everytime I looked at these fabrics, Civil War Repos. Blues, browns, reds, so earthy, just makes me feel warm. Searched and searched for just the right pattern, design,... until I decided to take a few ideas from a few places and make it my own. Instead I'm making some simple undoable mistakes. Right now I'm rich in mistakes. Oh the shear delight in knowing that I'm human has been overwhelming in this last 24 hours! Carefully cutting and piecing the first block...beautiful! The block is only 6 1/2 and I figured 9...sigh...thats ok I'll make adjustments to the entire pattern and everything will be fine. Now that I know it works I will cut all the blocks and strip piece my work of art. Tedious and carefully I starch and cut, sew and press. Squaring up each little Hst. Perfection! Man I'm getting so good at this quilting, a master! Lovin my day, geese are flying over, spring is near, sun is shining through the windows making the quilt blocks even warmer to the eye, radio blaring classic rock station..."If you cant be with the one you loooove...love the one your with...." My happy feet just cant stay still, I'm wiggling my butt as I make my ever so careful squaring up cuts. Man could life get any better than this!? Took a break, went to the store to get supplies for Homemade Baileys Irish cream. (Just a dab in a cup of coffee make the world a happy scrappy place). Awwe...Life is good...sipping my tastey drink admiring my work with my feet prop on my desk. When all of the sudden it must have been the whiskey, I noticed my fatal error in my blocks! All my Hst's match up perfectly but my 1/4 around the edge...well its not there! It took it off! What in blue blazes was I thinking! Oh gosh I start inspecting all my blocks, Holy Mother of.....everyone of them! Taking a closer look not only did I cut off my quarter inch seam I've put my very faint background stripped fabric in different directions! Chugging down the remaining tastey drink, I plop my defeated butt down in my chair slumped over, rubbing my head. Shaking my head I realize that if I were paid for all my mistakes I could retire at the age of 42. Not just these mistakes but all lifes mistakes...lets have another drink. Moping to the kitchen to drown my sorrow, radio still on..."Sweet home Alambma, where the skies are so blue..." I plop back down in my chair, Oh well I just have to go with it, I swivel around and look out the window...Wow thats one of the prettiest sunsets I've ever seen! Deep purples and flourescent pinks...I step out on the porch to see the splendor. Standing there I realize how beautiful the sunset is even with the dull brown cornfield as its frame. Back to the sewing room looking down at my now wonderful blocks again. They arent perfect, but I still love these fabrics. All is not lost I have 18 more blocks to make I can make these better. At least I caught my error before the entire set of blocks were done. Returning to the kitchen and fixin another, life is darn good at this point, I'm not a big drinker. So I turned off the sewing machine, put away the sharp objects and once again had my love affair with my fabric, just looking at it, wondering if the quilt would be as warm as it made me feel (it could be the tastey beverage).

    The next morn its back to the sweat shop of horrors. After spending way to much time on the QB and surfing the net for all things quilt related its back to the sewing machine. Which must have had to much to drink last night after I went to bed because this dumb machine about every 12 inches or so of sewing will start bunching up thread on the bottom. Being the expert sewer that I am(HaHa) I realize that I forgot to change out my needle and clean out the bobbin area. Daggone I'm good! Patting myself on the back for a job well done I continue to sew. Stupid Machine! Whats your problem! I look up and low and behold the thread has somehow jumped out of the thread guide....shew that was a close one I thought I was gonna have to take it to the shop. Ok onward to the sewing....What the!..again it bunches...I slam my hand down on top of the sewing machine "What the blankety blank is your problem!" (you dont want to know what I really said, all the birds outside stopped chirping). Taking a deep breath I went back over the basics in sewing, checked the thread, the tension, the bobbin, made sure theres no lint or thread under the bobbin, checked needle, changed it again just incase theres a manufacturers defect. Nothing, all these things checked out ok. I just dont get it I started sewing and she sewed like a dream. Lifes is good again, I guess just like men every once in awhile you just gotta shake them up a bit. Or so I thought...KERCHUNK! I'm furious...boy would a tastey beverage.. but its only 9am. So I sit and look at this foul piece of metal and plactic all put together looking pretty but little did I know she was like a Black Magic woman, just sitting there waiting to destroy me! Its taking all my will power to not pick this machine up and toss it on the ground and jump up and down on top of it like a out of control 3 year old. I sit back in my chair puzzled. I consider myself handy, can fix or mend about anything. This is not gonna win. Out to the garage I go, soaking up the sunshine, taking a minute to watch the blue birds at the bird feeder. Yes! Spring is just around the corner! Getting my implements of distruction, I head back into the The room of doom. Very carefully taking the bobbin area apart, inspecting each little piece, looking for any signs of wear. NOTHING! In my aging years (42) my fingers dont work like they use to so putting it back together was a chore. No wonder the shop charges so much. He looks to be twice my age and his hands are twice as big, how in the world does he get these microscopic screws back in there! Back to the garage for a telescopic magnet. Finally I manage to piece this stupid, outdated, overpriced, misfuctioning piece of crap back together. Swearing off ever working on another machine. Defeated again(the second time in 24 hrs) I set back and look at my monster, snarling at me, laughing at me, and what to my angry I should I see....My thread spool. Yep 1 hour and 30 minutes, 3 teeny weeny impossible screws, I see that my thread spool (has the little notch for the thread to be secured on the top) is turned to the outside when its supposed to be on the back side so the thread doesnt get caught when coming off the spool. Guess whats caught in that notch, yep my thread! That was the problem the whole time! Is it 5 oclock yet I need a drink! Life is good I'm sewing again. And feel like a very rich woman with all the knowlege I gained today. I may not have alot of money but I have something better....Baileys Irish Cream Homemade!

  2. #2
    Junior Member
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    You should consider writing stories! I loved reading this & so identified with the frustration of looking at your work & seeing mistakes along with the dang sewing machine. I had the same exact thing happen to me only I didn't take mine apart. It's a lesson in patience that's for sure.

  3. #3
    Super Member ssgramma's Avatar
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    What a wonderful story!

    I have been making homeade Bailey's for eons - love it!

  4. #4
    Super Member magpie's Avatar
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    Loved your post. You know we've all been there. Glad it was something simple.

  5. #5
    Super Member lauriejo's Avatar
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    First, let me say I feel your pain. Second, I looove your writing. But third, recipe pleeeaaassseeee!!!

  6. #6
    Senior Member Tulip's Avatar
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    Thank you for such a wonderful, laughable, enjoyable story! I could relate to every part of it! Sew on sister!
    Tulip

  7. #7
    Senior Member emc1118's Avatar
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    I could relate throughout the story! Great writing.

  8. #8
    Super Member clem55's Avatar
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    Loved your story, and yes ,pleae, your receipe!!

  9. #9
    Super Member babyboomerquilter's Avatar
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    You should be a journalist!Great descriptions with all the feelings in it,yep you should be a writer. And by the way, Iv'e been there too with the machine problems!Better days ahead!

  10. #10
    Super Member leatheflea's Avatar
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    Homemade Baileys Irish Cream

    (NOT INTENDED TO BE USED WHILE SEWING, HAZARDOUS TO YOU AND YOUR FABRIC)

    1 cup of heavy cream
    14 oz sweetened condensed milk
    1 tp instant coffee (dissolved in 1/4 cup hot water)
    2 Tbs chocolate syrup
    1 ts vanilla extract
    1 ts almond extract
    1 2/3 cup of irish whiskey

    Put all in the blender and blend for about 20 seconds. Add to a cup of coffee, I use about half coffee and half mixture.

    Refrigerate. Shake before every use.

    Its a little sweeter than store bought. And you could add or reduce on the whiskey. I like it the way it is, Yummy!

  11. #11
    Super Member leatheflea's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by babyboomerquilter
    You should be a journalist!Great descriptions with all the feelings in it,yep you should be a writer. And by the way, Iv'e been there too with the machine problems!Better days ahead!
    A jouranalist! Thats funny because when I buy a newpaper I read the editorals, check to see if Aries is behaving today, then check to see if I died and went to fabric heaven. I look for a job(unemployed). And see if some woman has lost her mind and selling her stash. And lastly I do the crossword puzzle and the crypto. The rest of it is firestarter material for the firepit.

  12. #12
    Super Member luvTooQuilt's Avatar
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    Glad to hear everything is right in the world again for you.. :thumbup:

  13. #13
    Super Member janRN's Avatar
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    Hey it's 5 o'clock somewhere!!! Great writing and funny story. I could feel your frustration--been there, too!

  14. #14
    Senior Member Dani's Avatar
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    Me too! Except there was a little frustration factor there as well. Thank you for sharing your experience.

    Quote Originally Posted by Tulip
    Thank you for such a wonderful, laughable, enjoyable story! I could relate to every part of it! Sew on sister!
    Tulip

  15. #15
    Super Member LivelyLady's Avatar
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    I so enjoyed that!! You should send it in to one of the quilt magazines! It's so refreshing to hear a person finding humor in a dreadful day!

  16. #16
    Senior Member Mary M's Avatar
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    You are really good! Really tells the story of what so many of us experience not only in quilting, but also in life. We can make a mountain out of a mole hill.

  17. #17
    Super Member sewwhat85's Avatar
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    love the story it is great

  18. #18
    Super Member deanneellen's Avatar
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    I loved, loved, loved, your article! So funny and so easy to relate to. How many times have I sat and pondered over why my machine was not doing what it was supposed to do? Took me a long time to figure out that if a certain green light was not on that the machine would not be threaded properly. Just discovered yesterday after 5 years that the silly thing has a thread cutter!

  19. #19
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    Loved it, very visual story; and your receipe is very similar to what I am sipping right now....

  20. #20
    Super Member Yooper32's Avatar
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    Being embroiled for the last I don't know how many days, trying my best to complete this dad-ratted farmhouse for the February BOM, I totally feel your pain. I am not a new-comer to paper piecing, however nobody would believe this if they had been a fly on the wall through these days. By the end of this day, it was going to be completed or, put through the shredder, wasn't too sure which. For now, I am keeping it, but it was a very close thing. And...no, I do not have any Bailey's to soothe my shattered nerves.

  21. #21
    Senior Member dpparris's Avatar
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    What a great way to end the problem, writing such a great story. See you WON!

  22. #22
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    Thank you for your creative thoughts woven into an interesting dialogue!!! Also, thanks for the recipe! :)

  23. #23
    Super Member Grace MooreLinker's Avatar
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    Loved you story , my destress quilt( a lone star pattern) is jamed in a bag and hidden in a box of fabric after about 3 times taking it apart. you had better luck than I did..

  24. #24
    Super Member leatheflea's Avatar
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    Being that i live in the middle of nowhere, home everyday, my days are filled with sewing and the sound of silence. Most days are filled with only the sounds of my own thoughts. Tv is a bore. Rarely remembering to actually turn on the radio, the days fly by with just the conversations in my head. So its me, mother nature and QB, mixed with an occasional book. Once a week I venture into town to get our weekly supplies and put in my applications for denials so I can collect my benefits of laziness(or so I've been told). So I suppose I have plenty of time to entertain myself and write the memoirs of the Mad Quilter. It warms my heart to know that I made so many of you smile. Thank you for all your kind words, I just wanted to share my day and frustrations without sounding "B****Y". Lifes to short to spend feeling like doo-doo!

  25. #25
    Super Member MDMPanther's Avatar
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    Lea....Thank you so much for your post, the laughs and the smiles throughout reading it!! I agree with what someone else suggested...consider sending it to the quilting magazines....so many of us relate, but you have a gift for putting words together!!

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