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    Old 12-29-2012, 03:35 PM
      #11  
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    I would take the approach of asking her if she can recommend someone being she can not do them in time. This allows her to have a say in them.

    You never know- maybe while she is out on her back - she will do some hand quilting. As you can tell - I've done neither.
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    Old 12-29-2012, 03:36 PM
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    Originally Posted by Jan in VA
    Do not allow critical, demanding, manipulative people in your life. Their acceptance of you is only conditional, never true. People who do not wish to be happy can not be made happy by your actions.

    Jan in VA
    Jan, often when you post, I think, "She is so wise." Well said.
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    Old 12-29-2012, 03:45 PM
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    Originally Posted by JenelTX
    Jan, often when you post, I think, "She is so wise." Well said.
    I second this one.
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    Old 12-29-2012, 03:57 PM
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    Originally Posted by hperttula123
    I would tell her and let her know that you need them before she will be ready to quilt. That way, she doesn't find out later that you hid it. Longarm quilting isn't for everyone and you shouldn't be forced to do it if you don't like it.
    I agree!!! Friends serve different purposes in our lives so this is your quilting friend who also does LAQ!!!
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    Old 12-29-2012, 04:08 PM
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    Originally Posted by JenelTX
    Jan, often when you post, I think, "She is so wise." Well said.

    Hey, I said it first (if not so succinctly)! I want to be the wise one, LOL!!!
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    Old 12-29-2012, 04:17 PM
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    Jenel, Lisa, Dunster, you all are so silly! Dunster, you are welcome to be the wise one, I'm not all that comfortable with recognition, LOL!
    Thank you all anyway.

    This particular piece of wisdom was hard learned and I admit it has taken me 60-some years to really get it down into my being to the place where I quickly recognize these people and refuse to give them influence in my life. Sadly it also includes my father, still alive at 90, but who has been 'telling' me for 55 years that he didn't want to be the father of his children, even though I tried to please him all that time.

    Jan in VA
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    Old 12-29-2012, 04:59 PM
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    Thank you everyone for your advice. I think I will talk to her and let her know that I need these quilts done by mid-January and I don't want to LA them myself.

    Jan, I do value this friendship and this is really the only complaint I have about my friend. Her attitude sort of changed the past year when she started doing LAQ as a full-time business/ source of income and not just a side business/hobby. She and I are part of a quilting group that gets together frequently. She is also a part-time quilt teacher and has taught me so much over the past 5 years.
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    Old 12-29-2012, 07:32 PM
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    Wow!! Such good suggestions. I would contact your LAQ and tell her your deadlines and she what her response is. Then if she can't get to them when you need them. Tell her you will find someone else to quilt these but have some for her to quilt when she is ready. Then see how things play out. Good luck!
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    Old 12-29-2012, 08:07 PM
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    Why not just send them out. If she ask tell her, then when she gets upset, look at her and tell her she is being immature, selfish and that that is not the way friends treat each other. Then see what she says. if she gets huffy at least you have someone else that can quilt your quilts. I am like Jan. I have found that we just need to be nice to others and expect that others will be nice to us. If they aren't then walk away with no regrets.
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    Old 12-29-2012, 08:29 PM
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    This sounds like an adult and professional attitude. Kudos to you.
    Originally Posted by ckcowl
    all relationships are best if based on honesty- i would let her know (better she didn't find out later from someone else) that you need the quilts right away and have no interest in doing them yourself-so those 2 you are sending elsewhere.
    i do not understand people who base their friendships on (business)
    i am a long-armer and have many times recommended someone else when someone has brought me or called me about a quilt that i do not have time to do- or if i have a couple ahead of them i let them know- ...'i would not be able to get to your quilt until...but if you need it done before then - here, call.... or .... i give out other quilter's business cards- have always considered it a business where it is most benificial when everyone works together- i've received calls from people who have said to me---' i usually use....but she is going on vacation & told me to call you to see if you have time....' and other calls too---the (other quilter) knows i also give out her name- and has not qualms about sending me customers when she can not get one done.
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