To make or????
04-12-2022, 06:44 AM
#32
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Posts: 68
If I was her husband and had to sleep on a couch, I would leave. My husband and I sleep in the same bed. He has a cpap machine and it does make a little noise, so get ear plugs. I have back problems, so I do a lot of turning during the night, but we still sleep together. That is why we got married is to be together.
04-12-2022, 09:31 AM
#33
Power Poster
Join Date: May 2008
Location: MN
Posts: 24,644
If I was her husband and had to sleep on a couch, I would leave. My husband and I sleep in the same bed. He has a cpap machine and it does make a little noise, so get ear plugs. I have back problems, so I do a lot of turning during the night, but we still sleep together. That is why we got married is to be together.
After 62 years of marriage - there is a difference between sleeping apart because of anger - and for health reasons or one wants to turn the lights off at 2 am and the other one wants lights out at 10 pm.
04-13-2022, 11:37 AM
#34
Super Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Pacific NW
Posts: 9,556
When I was younger, I was appalled ( at ot of things that do not bother me now) when I heard of married people sleeping separately.
After 62 years of marriage - there is a difference between sleeping apart because of anger - and for health reasons or one wants to turn the lights off at 2 am and the other one wants lights out at 10 pm.
After 62 years of marriage - there is a difference between sleeping apart because of anger - and for health reasons or one wants to turn the lights off at 2 am and the other one wants lights out at 10 pm.
This thread reminded me of a conversation I had with a neighbor who became a good friend several years ago. They moved into an older home with stairs. She slept in a bedroom downstairs and he slept in a bedroom upstairs. She told me that he would get happy and excited whenever he heard the stairs creaking as she walked up them, because it only meant one thing! 🤣
04-13-2022, 02:19 PM
#35
Super Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 2,714
lol.... Peckish, thank you for that. I do agree, one can always share activities and then have a good night's sleep in separate beds as needed. It does not mean you love one another less if you need to sleep apart. Bodies change with time. If the quality of your sleep drops, you get sick so if sleeping separately gives you the quality of rest you need to prevent illness, go for it.
04-14-2022, 10:21 AM
#36
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2021
Posts: 371
If she really loved her husband, she would have given the quilt to him to use.
If you feel like you would really like to make him his own quilt, use the same fabric you used for the first one but make the binding a different color. For some reason, I think it would be better to make the quilt in the same colors. If you make different color quilt, she might want to use the new one instead of the one she has...or keep them both.
Regardless, you have no responsililty to make a second quilt to solve their differences. Making a quilt is expensive and takes a lot of time. There is not any way you could have expected this to happen, but I know you feel bad with this scenario even though it had an unexpected consequence.
I feel that you are very concerned with scenario. Sometimes I do things I'd rather not do just to make myself feel better.
If you feel like you would really like to make him his own quilt, use the same fabric you used for the first one but make the binding a different color. For some reason, I think it would be better to make the quilt in the same colors. If you make different color quilt, she might want to use the new one instead of the one she has...or keep them both.
Regardless, you have no responsililty to make a second quilt to solve their differences. Making a quilt is expensive and takes a lot of time. There is not any way you could have expected this to happen, but I know you feel bad with this scenario even though it had an unexpected consequence.
I feel that you are very concerned with scenario. Sometimes I do things I'd rather not do just to make myself feel better.
04-14-2022, 02:36 PM
#37
Super Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 9,709
I've run into people thinking I was being selfish for grabbing something for myself, but they don't know how rare it is for me to do that. I was raised that Mom/Wife got the last. DH and I got married at 18 and had kids right away, and money was very tight while they were growing up, so I got use to going without, and making sure that DH and kids had the best of whatever it was that we got.
So for the few times I grab first and hang on tight, DH will often look disappointed and others look on me poorly, but DH is only doing it because he's use to getting first dibs. He does admit that he's rather spoiled when it comes down to it.
So for the few times I grab first and hang on tight, DH will often look disappointed and others look on me poorly, but DH is only doing it because he's use to getting first dibs. He does admit that he's rather spoiled when it comes down to it.
Also, my husband sleeps on the couch because he prefers it. He likes to sleep with the TV on all night which I cannot do. He's always slept on the couch a lot of the time. His choice and not anyone's business except ours.
Last edited by cashs_mom; 04-14-2022 at 02:39 PM.
04-17-2022, 05:31 AM
#39
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Sweden
Posts: 23
I used to think like this too. We are both older and retired and he uses a cpap machine and has restless leg syndrome so his legs chased me out of bed too often. We both sleep better now in our seperate beds. Yes, things change. Cuddling in front of the tv works just fine.
