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Thread: Is it me or can you just not do it all?

  1. #1
    Super Member Butterfli19's Avatar
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    Something always doesn't get done. Work full-time, care of house inside and out, shop, cook, clean, laundry, go here, go there, blah, blah, blah.

    Daughter is 22 and on her own and son is 16 and at home - both sweeties and don't need me to do much anymore - but where the heck does the weekend go? I feel guilty when I let stuff go but then Monday morning comes and I'm sad because I didn't get in enough sewing time.

    So tell me...how do you all do it? Do you have a plan? Let stuff go? How much time do you spend daily or weekly sewing? What do you tell yourself about the other stuff, that it's OK to leave it for now until you get that tote bag pieced?

    I want to do this as a small side biz to supplement my income and maybe retire by the time I'm 60 (9 more years) so it's not like I'm goofing off, but I still feel guilty. Make it stop! lol

  2. #2
    Moderator tlrnhi's Avatar
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    That's a hard one for me. Right now I don't work, only because of the tax laws here on Guam.
    When I was working, I was working afternoons/nights, so had most of my day to get things done and had a few hours at night to get things done also. My days off were spent either catching up on what I didn't want to do on the other days or sewing/spending the day to myself.
    It all depends on your priorities, I guess.

  3. #3
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    i've learned to let things go.

    the worst time was when i was doing my PhD - time was very tight and i had to pick and choose what was important to me.

    i used to keep a spotless home up until that point - since i've learned to accept some disorder in the home so that i can spend more time devoted to the things i love to do.

    when i die i'd rather see cleaning chores left on my "to do list" then quilting.

    i have started to work in a more assembly line fashion. i'll spend one weekend just prepping and cutting up fabric for a few quilt tops.

    then i spend the next month making the quilts.

    then i spend the next month or 3 quilting the tops.

    my quilts are typically around 3-5 feet is size so it isn't that hard to make a few a month.

    i typically set up for 4 quilts at a time.


  4. #4
    Super Member b.zang's Avatar
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    Ha, ha. You sound like me, a person who would like to do it all. I work long days Monday - Friday so I try to keep weekends as mine. If I try to sew in the evenings after work I make mistakes so have learned that lesson the hard way. Even by stating that weekends are mine doesn't mean that I manage to sew each weekend as we use weekends for trips to the city, visiting, bigger chores....but quilting is always available.

    If you want to retire into a "hobby-job", I recommend making it a real priority now. You're definitely not goofing off if this will be income for you! My DH retired to work with wood, but prior to his retirement he spent a lot of time not necessarily building, but researching how to best run a business - customer base, market demand, shipping, prices, etc. Now that he has retired from the corporate world he works just as rigorous a day but as his own boss. Good luck and enjoy!!

  5. #5
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    This reminds me that I forgot to take the clothes out of the dryer last night. Oops!!

  6. #6
    Super Member Rose Marie's Avatar
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    I feel for you.
    I did not take up quilting till I retired so no problem with having the time.
    My daughters are overwelmed all the time and they dont even quilt.
    Both have raised there kids to adults but they still have no time, always busy because they work full time. Weekends are for cleaning,shopping,running errands. No time for exercise but they manage to see me at least once a week.

  7. #7
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    i forgot to explain how i run the business.

    in order to get things done i do the "quilts for sale" on a commissioned basis.

    i meet with my client determine what they are looking for and only then does their quilt go into production.

    i take in orders 3 or 4 at a time and when those quilts are done i take in the next 3-4 quilt projects.

    i took in 4 projects at the beginning of april and those have due dates to their new owners of june, july, sept, and december.

    i have a june deadline to all my clients who want quilts for the winter holiday gift giving season.

    this is my busiest time of year because its not only quilts but i get a lot of orders for handbags.

    i do imagine that this year will be slower than normal due to the current financial crisis.


  8. #8
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    You are working three full time jobs:

    1. raising a family and keeping a home and husband. Don't try to tell me they become lower-maintenance as they get older. I have a few of my own.
    2. your paying full-time job
    3. establishing a small business of your own.

    Plus probably work in the community/church/etc and maintaining friendships, etc.

    Oh, yeah, you are also supposed to sleep for 8 hours a day, 7 days a week.

  9. #9
    Moderator littlehud's Avatar
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    There are never enough hours in my days. My three adult kids and grand daughter live with me. I used to work five 8 hour days and spent every day off trying to catch up at home. The kids were not helping with the house work at all so I set them down and gave them "chores" just like when they were kids. I learned to accept they may not do them like I do but they get them done. That gave me a little more time, then my work restructured and now I work three 12 hour days. Wow, four days a week off!!!! I still have some things that get put on the back burner, but I need my quilting time and my family loves the quilt they get.

  10. #10
    Senior Member genghis khan's Avatar
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    I too work full time and try to find time for sewing i think the thing that has suffered the worst is my social life but oh well who needs people when i have this right? I usually sew week nights or do all my planning and cutting so im prepared to sew for the weekend i guess its like managing myself as if this wer a bussiness exept for me this is a hobby. And then there have been times where i needed a break from what i was doing and i would go do something else smaller hope this helps. chris

  11. #11
    Power Poster Prism99's Avatar
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    You know how advice about improving your financial situation starts out with "pay yourself"? (Meaning when the paycheck comes, put some money into savings or a retirement account first, then use the rest to budget for bills.) I think the same is true for quilting.

    My husband and I are starting a home business together. He still works outside the home 60 hours a week, so most of the actual startup work is mine. What I have found is that I have to do the home business work first; housework has to wait. Since implementing that plan, I can safely say that all of the housework has deteriorated! Laundry piles up like never before and the dust bunnies are forming play groups. However, our business is coming along just fine!

    Unlike me, you basically only have weekends to get some serious work done. (If you are like me, after working a full day outside the home there's not a lot of constructive energy left at night.) I'd say your best bet is to set aside a couple of hours to quilt at the beginning of each weekend day (paying yourself first). This gives it a high priority. Whatever is left after that can be budgeted for your ordinary chores.

  12. #12
    Super Member Marcia's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Loretta
    When I was working full time and had a house full of teenagers, I discovered I was doing too much for them. So I stopped doing all laundry for the kids. (I porvided the machine water and soap and they did their own.) That included bath towels and bed linens. You would be amazed how quickly they picked up the bath towels when they were the ones who had to wash them. I also made free nights for myself, by having each family member cook one supper per week. Even though I sometimes had to eat weiners and beans, the free time it gave me was priceless. The final result was that they all thanked me when they got to college and knew how to do laundry and cook.
    Good for you, Loretta---I did the same thing-raised self-sufficient adults!!

    I do not work outside the house, and some would say I do not work inside the house either!!! :wink: Since it is just my husband and I now the house does not get as dirty, there is not as much laundry, etc. But, I do find that I spend a lot of time on the road going to visit my grandchildren and then cooking and cleaning when everyone is coming here for a meal.

    I quilt when I can, savor every moment of my life and don't sweat the small stuff. I no longer find the need to "do it all".

  13. #13
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    I barely have time to sew and I'm retired.LOL We moved in Nov., and now with the weather getting nicer, we're painting, need to redo the fencing (80 acres), build a barn, take everything out of the barn, and garage and clean, then organize it, finally got my sewing room somewhat organized, at least I can use my cutting table now, take gd to/from school, etc., life gets in the way. I also would like to earn a little extra money by sewing/quilting, but just don't know when I'll get the time.

  14. #14
    Super Member Barbm's Avatar
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    Once upon a time there lived a title insurance agent. Married to the man of her dreams with lovely children, they moved into their "retirement " home although each was to young to retire. Her home was immaculate, the flowers garden weeded and tended and bouquets graced her table and countertop.

    And then, she discovered quilting. The menace is a drug, taking over her life, forcing it's existence into her every inch of her life. The beautiful home- still beautiful but sometimes the dust bunnies are visible and she doesn't sit on the couch because the dog hair will get on her work clothes. The pretty flowers- you can see them- just push the weeds out of the way. Now there are grand babies, the kids are almost gone. She thought she was Wonder Woman and started her own business- it has taken off. But Wonder Woman wonders how she can fit it all in? The quilting needs to be done, the laundry needs to crawl back into the basket, the floor needs sweeping... the list goes on and on.

    What is the happy ending for this fairy tale? Certainly one cannot give up quilting. That's it- the housework must go! Back to my sewing room- have table runners to quilt for the wedding shower next Saturday. Laundry is getting done- I can talk to hubby and son while I change loads. Son can vacuum the dust bunnies and the couches. Hubby can fend for himself. As long as no one is starving or ill from the squalor, who cares I'll be upstairs, de-stressing in my sewing room- quilting. And I'll live happily ever after.

    Barb

  15. #15
    Super Member KGoodhand's Avatar
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    I have two small girls (5 & 8) and I hear that question a lot - how do you find the time??? Well I am definitely NOT my mother's daughter. I have learned that not only do I want time for quilting but it also makes things easier with the girls. They have the rule to keep their rooms and toyroom clean. They are both good with helping clean up after dinner or that also. But while I was growing up my mother's house was Spotless!!! Always!!! I haved learned I don't need that. Now I do make an exception if I know we have company coming but even then. We live in our house, it is not a musuem or the cover of a magazine!
    Kendra

  16. #16
    BlueChicken's Avatar
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    It's a fine balancing act some days, that's for sure!

    My sewing is mostly confined to the evenings after dinner. If hubby is feeling neglected I'll sit in the lounge and watch a movie with him, but bring my hand sewing to do.

    As for the housework, I make the kids help out too. They're old enough to vacuum, and unload the dishwasher etc. We all do the housework at the same time, then it gets done much faster. Maybe not to my mother's standard, but good enough for us! We have four kids, four dogs, two cats, and numerous birds, so a showhome finish was never going to happen! lol

  17. #17
    community benefactor Knot Sew's Avatar
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    This is an old one but a good one. When you are on your death bed do you think you will wish you spent more time cleaning? First comes family, then sewing then the rest :wink:

  18. #18
    Power Poster amma's Avatar
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    When my children were still at home, between work, housework, laundry and cooking....I never had time much for a hobby, or myself. I finally said enough!!! The kids helped with chores, I would cook up several meals at a time and freeze the extras for later and found ME time. It may be an hour in the evenings, a couple of hours early mornings, or a whole afternoon/evening (especially in the winter months) I made it more of a priority and I chose what I wanted to do during ME time :D :D I would rent the kids movies, trade off sleep overs, find something that would keep them occupied :lol: :lol: I may nap, do crafts, sew or read, it did not matter what, as long as I was doing it for me. :D :D Now I am retired and their is mostly ME time :lol: :lol: Dust, a full laundry basket, half a sink of dirty dishes quit being a priority to me now.....they will wait there patiently for me to get to them, when I choose!!! :lol: :wink: :lol:

  19. #19
    Power Poster MadQuilter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Butterfli19
    So tell me...how do you all do it?
    I don't - do it all, that is. I am blessed with incredibly thick blinders that can overlook a mess. :D Someone in this blog has "I Quilt - Of Course my house is messy" in her signature and I am in the process of borrowing that sentiment in form of a sign in my entry way.

    There are things that NEED doing and I make time for those, but life is too short to waste on housework when there is quilting to be done. I am also blessed with a DH who doesn't care what the house looks like.

  20. #20
    Super Member MollieSue's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MadQuilter
    Quote Originally Posted by Butterfli19
    So tell me...how do you all do it?
    I don't - do it all, that is. I am blessed with incredibly thick blinders that can overlook a mess. :D Someone in this blog has "I Quilt - Of Course my house is messy" in her signature and I am in the process of borrowing that sentiment in form of a sign in my entry way.
    There are things that NEED doing and I make time for those, but life is too short to waste on housework when there is quilting to be done. I am also blessed with a DH who doesn't care what the house looks like.
    Same here. I joke sometimes that if the health department ever seen this place, they'd condem it! :wink: lol!!! Every now and then I'll go through and thoroughly clean everything, but a spotlessly clean house is not my goal in life. It's me, my husband, one adult son, 3 large dogs, and 2 cats here, it's usually 'messy'. We pick up for company. :-) KGoodhand, my mother's house would have passed the white glove test too.
    Clean houses don't last, but quilts do! :D

  21. #21
    Power Poster BellaBoo's Avatar
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    My thinking is anyone over the age of 8 can work a washing machine and dryer. My kids started doing their own laundry at 7. I provided the step stool of their choice. 8) I've always made it clear to the kids I didn't give birth so I could be a maid. I gave birth to have free maid service. :lol: :lol: :lol: I don't stress over my housework. The house is uncluttered and and easy to keep tidy. I see a mess I think how can this mess be avoided being made again. I change the mess, not forever cleaning it up. I use disposable dishes as much as possible even disposable flatware that I buy in bulk at Sam's Club. I rarely use more than two pans to cook an everyday meal. I wash them as soon as the food is cooked. Put out the paper plates, solo cups, plastic forks and spoon and dinner clean up is a thing of the past. I hate having dirty dishes to deal with after a meal. If the family wants real dishes they have to clean up. They never get them out. :wink:

  22. #22
    Super Member Butterfli19's Avatar
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    You certainly all have been helpful and it's nice to hear that there really isn't anyone who does it all. I taught my kids to be self-sufficient and they can cook, clean, and do laundry. They aren't the problem, I am the problem.

    I expect too much of myself, always have. Sometimes I get so overwhelmed I procrastinate. Aha! I guess I need to back down a bit. I had every intention of sewing all weekend but the only sewing I did was resew two buttons on my son's friend's jacket. I spent most of yesterday entering all my sewing machine feet, different threads and sewing machine needles into an excel spreadsheet, trying to prepare inventory for the biz. I also drafted a pattern for a grocery tote I decided to make out of old jeans, and decided to wait on purchasing the EQ6 since I only make small things. I did manage to wash, dry and fold two more loads of fabric, only to realize most of what I have is prints of flowers or stars, with hardly any plain fabric. Sigh...now I have to buy pastel and bold complements. And another bin. And some muslin. And some white batting.

    Nancy Zieman wrote a book called "10, 20, 30 minutes to Sew." I think I'll do that. Try to set aside 1/2 - 1 hour each evening to do something sewing-related. I set aside 1/2 hour each morning before work to cross-stitch, I can certainly do the same for sewing. Sheesh, I am a grown up, lol.

  23. #23
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    I have two little ones -- 2 years old and 4 months old -- and I work part time. I don't have much time for sewing ... usually just after they're in bed, as the 2-year-old is into EVERYTHING and I always worry about him getting ahold of something he shouldn't have.

    Thursday night is my sewing night, for the most part. My DH plays Xbox with his friends online that night, so after the kids are asleep, I don't have much choice -- it's read or sew!

  24. #24
    Moderator Jim's Gem's Avatar
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    I work too, but only part time. And now that tax season is over I only work 3 days a week. I don't watch television so I try to get some sewing in 2 -3 nights a week. Also sine DH is a pastor, he has college group he runs every Sunday evening and frequently he is only home for lunch on Sundays, so sundays are a great sewing day for me. I'd be sewing now, cept I just got home from getting a manicure and pedicure so I'm waiting to be sure that my nails are all the way dry before sewing! Also, one weekend a month I have friends from church and we have a UFO weekend. It was this weekend, so we get together in the music room at church and sew from 5 - 11 Friday night and 9 - 3 Saturday. Got lots done!!!!

  25. #25
    Super Member Harmony's Avatar
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    I'm in the same boat with the rest of you! I'm a freelance court reporter, so I don't go out and take a job every day, but the days that I don't go out I spend at home working on transcripts. That goes for evenings and weekends as well. I'm ALWAYS busy, and I almost never have free time. I have one daughter out of the house, and one still technically living here, although I don't see her too much. She's no help around the house. DH tries to help, but it doesn't seem to occur to him to do anything I don't directly ask him to do. So I've learned to lower my standards--a LOT!!! I do hand quilting when I'm watching TV at night. If I'm piecing something, I do that at night instead. I don't spend too many full days locked up in my sewing room, but I fit it in where I can, and I just let the house go to hell until I can't stand it anymore. The way I see it, I've been working since I was 14 years old; I deserve a little "me" time, even if it's only now and then!

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