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Thread: Is it me or can you just not do it all?

  1. #26
    Senior Member Kara's Avatar
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    I've learned to let some things go, too.

    Laundry is not folded perfectly, because the kids do it.

    There are dust bunnies migrating all over the house because I don't/won't vacuum every day or even every other day. And my cleaning crew consists of 4 people for 5yo to 12yo.

    There's clutter here and there. I spend some time and focus on some stuff, then move on.

    Don't always get sewing time in... between house, hubby, kids, homeschooling, part-time job, and the mountain of laundry and dirty dishes that seem to accumulate with 4 active kids...

    I have some handwork now that I do while the kids are between instruction. And I sometimes pull the quilting hoop up to the table, too. A few stitches here and there makes some progress. I'll sometimes cut at the kitchen counter in between, too. Or pin. Sewing at the machine is done later... since it's back in our bedroom...


  2. #27
    community benefactor collettakay's Avatar
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    I thank God everyday that at this point in time my dh's income supports us and I'm able to be home with our little one's. Our oldest is in school and our youngest is 2. Even though I don't have a job outside the home I find that I am as busy now as ever.

    I made a household binder that I call "Colletta's Kitchen Sink". It contains everything and anything I need to stay organized and be where I need to be when I need to be there. I created my own monthly/weekly planner that has a column for me, dh and both kiddies. I can put my daily chores/apts/plan in my column and also keep track of what is going in for dh and the kids. Their appts/practices/school happening go under their column so that I can see what our whole family has going on for each day. I also have tab that contain: phone #'s, addresses, projects, PTO, Girl scouts, church. I whole punch flyers that I get and put them in their proper tab area. I also keep notebook paper in each section to make lists. I take it with me whenever I leave the house. I made a master list of events that occur on a monthly and weekly basis and also a cleaning/household list. It helps to remember what to schedule on my calendar and I don't forget to the things like washing the kids sheets.

    Each week I plan out the main things going on for the week. Sundays are set aside for church and family and of course, Sunday afternoon naps. lol. Monday morning I deep clean the kitchen, dining room, sewing room and family room and do laundry. Tuesday morning I deep clean the bathrooms and bedrooms and finish any laundry that didn't get done. Wednesday are set aside for sewing/quilting/projects. Thursday I do laundry again and everyother week go for groceries. Friday are usually for errands, picking up the house, and reading and Family Movie Night. Saturdays are family day and I have to get the church bulletin printed off before Sunday morning.

    Some days it take me longer to get my list done depending on how cooperative the little one is. Her nap time is usually me time. Evenings are dinner, practices, meetings, homework, baths and then quilting time while watching TV.

    The main thing is to be flexible. If something on my list doesn't get done that day, oh well. I mark it for the next day or a more convenient time.

    I also am not my mother's cleaning daughter. I refuse to sweep floors everyday and don't do the dishes directly after suppper. The next morning is just fine. If the clothes sit in the basker for a week, hey at least they're clean. I do try to do a total house declutter at least once a year. (I'm in the middle of that now. One room at a time.)

    If you made it through all this rambling, thank you. And if anyone wants me to email you my planner that you can customize and print out, pm me your email addy.

    One more thing, guess what I have on a my schedule for today in big letters and circled. TRIP TO THE FABRIC STORE!!!!

  3. #28
    ButtercreamCakeArtist's Avatar
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    Holy moly! So many of you sound just like me, or vise versa. I have heard the phrase, "I am not my mother's daughter" in several of these posts...that's how I feel, too. Mom's house is perfect. Always. Clutter attracts to me like hair on duct tape....or sand on a dropped banana or, well, you know. I hate it. I am so disorganized right now, and it puts me in a horrible mood.
    I've been working on it. I think I'd like to get things ready and have a yardsale. We are building on to our house right now, so that's really going to be fun when we start cutting out walls and adding a new hall. I spent most of a day cleaning and organizing things in my room. I've even taken the bed all the way apart and dusted and vacuumed it all. Then, I had to get up at 2am one morning and move all of my shelves and fabric bc hubby had removed the siding (building on) and rain was blowing in around the sliding door in my room! Don't worry. I saved the fabric and the carpet.

    I've learned that I'm not perfect, and that I can't seem to keep everything in its place. I was better at this before kids, but I guess we all were. I'm rather embarrassed when company comes, but I've learned to get over that a little.

    Laundry! OMG! I almost hate laundry! GRR! I do well with getting it all downstairs and getting it done, but putting it up is another story. I do fold everything when I take it out of the dryer, so it doesn't get wrinkled. It may be a week getting put up, but it won't be wrinkled!

    When I get really frustrated with myself, I stop and think a little. I tell myself to be thankful, very thankful, that I have a roof over my head and a house to clean, that I have laundry and detergent to do it with, dirty dishes because we have food to eat..
    My Mom grew up without running water, indoor plumbing, and a lot of necessities and "things". They had a wringer washer outside to do laundry in if they'd caught enough rain water, and a line to dry them on. They had to carry water from a spring way over the hill if they wanted to eat, clean, wash, etc. So, sometimes if I'm really feeling crappy about things, I can think of how lucky I am to "have it easy". It isn't exactly "easy", but it is easier than Mom had it.

    I had planned to get my house in order last week, during Spring break, but I got sick instead. So, I said MONDAY>>>It's Monday.

  4. #29
    Super Member Bill'sBonBon's Avatar
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    No it is not just you,I believe we all feel that way some times. I am retired and I still don't have the time do quilt all day, only some in the afternoon.I haven't been on the board much until the end of march. My DD had a hysterectomy,Then it didn't heal,she had a 1 1/2 " deep and 2" wide hole in her belly. I had to learn to pack,she was at her home 15 miles away We tried it at my home but beds were to low,she had a high bed.. I went there once aday every day for abt. 2 weeks to pack it for her. DH was to have foot surgery on March 2nd. Did the preop stuff while DD was in the hospital. After EKG they said he was having a heart attack on the back of his heart. He wasn't, He is Fine a long story abt. that one. Anyway He finall had his surgery on April 2nd. I had a absess in the roof of my mouth :shock: MD was worried about Mouth Cance Had to go to a ENT that was fine It got Lanced,no Cancer On top of that I am a caregiver of my almost 83 Year old Mom. No all of this was happening in rapid sucession of each other bang, bang, bang Then I got a PM from this sweet Angel about not seeing me on the board.
    Quiltncrazy gave me a pep talk and I started getting back on this wonderful site. I am doing a lot better, still have been having the same feelings you are haveing. It is just life you know and it is out of our control most of the time. So you just thank God you have the ability to do what needs to be done,and get on this board and tell everyone. :lol:
    You will do and be fine,The house work will not go away, :( just do what you can when you can.
    HUGS For You
    BillsBonBon

  5. #30
    live2teach's Avatar
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    It is hard to balance everything. I don't work outside of the home anymore. I'm a proud stay at home momma to a sweet little boy and I'm thankful that I can be. But between class, taking care of my family, running errands, doctors appointments, family events, etc etc, it is hard to find time to clean. lol. When I was pregnant everything was always clean because I was in that nesting phase. LOL. Here lately, I've been in the mood to clean, and it is a lot easier to clean when it's already pretty clean. I used to say it's hard to find the time to do it, but if you really want it done, you'll find the time. Of course, my family comes first, so I'm usually up late at night cleaning while the baby's sleeping, but if I had a full time job, I'd probably be sleeping instead of cleaning. lol.

  6. #31
    Junior Member QuiltyLisa's Avatar
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    Like Loretta,

    I had my kids who are 17 and 20 start doing alot more around the house. I was working 50 plus hour weeks and then coming home scrambling to get dinner on the table and all the other house chores.And I was only getting 4-5 hours od sleep a night! I finally snapped one day when I realized I had not quilted for months because I was doing everything. I am a neat freak so that didn't help.
    I sat down and talked with DH and kids and they all chipped in and we made a chore and cooking list and I learned to make a grocery list give my DD the money and her and her brother did the grocery shopping. I was a bit nervous but they did great. (We get our meats at a local meat market and that shopping I do myelf) now we have had some interesting meals but no complaint from me since I did not have to cook..So I got to where I could get a few hours a week sewing in. Now I am laid off (have been for 2 months) and I still have to fit sewing time in because I figured since I was home I "had" to do everything...lol
    Got everybody back to the schedule we had when I was working and everybody is happy again.
    it took me almost 20 years to realize I CANNOT do it all. And I really don't want to do it all!

  7. #32
    thismomquilts's Avatar
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    may as well chime in - i too reach the end of the weekend and think - 'i did not sew one of my intended stitches - yet again.' my only day off is on monday - many of my monday's are taken up with friends because i'm so busy during the week that i cannot see them. they want to come over and 'sew' - yeah right - :) we sit and chit chat too much to sew. my kids help out tremendously - own laundry, vaccuming, dishes, but between work, phone calls because of work, my own household responsibilities, caring for stuff outside, etc. i find little time to quilt UNLESS i make the time. DH loves watching TV in the evening - i 'take' two evenings to watch 'my' shows and he has the other five - in which i try to sew... not always does it happen but i try to make the best use of those evenings - he likes when i sit with him (i try to have one handquilting/sewing project always ready for these times). plus i have found that a few stitches/cuts/etc here and there DO add up. just have to be extra careful to not make mistakes.

  8. #33
    Super Member mimee4's Avatar
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    You can't do it all!! One thing that has helped me when I am overwhelmed is to have a 15 minute day. I actually set the timer and work at something - dishes, laundry - for 15 minutes. Then I read or sew for 15 minutes. That's all I can cope with. You might try 30 minute or even 1 hour days.
    Phone calls, too. My friends know I'm in a 15 minute day!!
    It helps me keep my sanity.

  9. #34
    Super Member Darlene's Avatar
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    When I worked part time I tried tp keep the hopuse clean. Now that I am retired I say to heck with the house and I just do what I want to do and when I see something bad I fix it. Life is too short to do housework everyday in my opinion. Besides we never have company just our DD on Satudays so what the use is it. I keep up the laundry and the baths, make the beds and run vacuum once a week. Not bad HUH?
    Mimee I like your 15 minutes days too.

  10. #35
    Senior Member rismstress's Avatar
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    I work full time in a very demanding job. Plus I have an active life in my professional organization. My husband retired last fall due to illness so he doesn't do much at home-but he does the grocery shopping and will do an errand or two while I am at work. I live on a list-- this must be done today-- this must be done for next week, etc. Gardening season is here and I will spend most of my free time outside for the next 4 months. So not a lot of time for sewing/quilting/reading. I don't push myself to finish a project- I do it because I love it, not because it must be done. Also, 2 big timesavers- we have a cleaning lady every week. And we have man who does the grass, trimming, and yard cleanup every week. So that's two big things we pay to have done so we can do other things on the weekends. I'd much rather garden or sew than clean the floor.
    Cheryl

  11. #36
    Super Member mpeters1200's Avatar
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    First, a big THANK YOU to the wonderful gal who started this thread. It's sooooooooooo good to know that I am not alone.

    I am a stay at home mom too, to 3 little boys 7, 6, and 5. My 7 year old is disabled and is often as much work as 3 kids by himself. My husband was laid off and then had a health crisis. He hasn't worked since January. I've been looking for work and have finally found a job. But, it means that I'll have to work 40 hours a week, worry about sick hubby trying to take care of the kids while I'm at work, then still jostle all the house work in my other 16 hours of the day. I admit, I'm a TV junkie, but it's almost May so my regular shows will be over and I get a TON of quilting work done over the summer months. I do not live outside, as my kids would rather do. However, I use the evenings in the summer time to get my piecing and such done.

    I'm making 3 D9P's at once which I have to admit I haven't worked on in a month or so. My house isn't spotless, though the people who live here think it should be. I put a little sign on my door that says "If you are looking for Donna Reed, she doesn't live here." Unfortunately, most of the people that come here have no clue who that is. I spend my weekends doing laundry and the rest of the week doing the regular daily stuff. Some days, it's just too much work to haul my machine out.

    Then, I kinda go blah and don't go on the board a while..then feel guilty because I don't have the time to be here.

    Just trying to get my groove back......I've gotta get my projects out today.

  12. #37
    Power Poster Mousie's Avatar
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    I've been sitting here reading every reply and asking myself, if I was going to share my 'experience'. After reading your reply, Bonnie,...how sweet you are...I think I will. It may help some ppl to know.
    Many moons ago, I was a young housewife, with three daughters. I thought I had to be superwoman, not bc my mother was,...no, bc she wasn't. I know, backwards. I love my mother, so not criticizing (sp),...but, I grew up, doing most of the housework, and babysat my three younger brothers, to the point, that I felt like their mother.
    I married a man, whose mother, was an exceptional housekeeper and cook. She was quiet and dutiful, and basically the way her husband wanted her to be.
    Hubby didn't expect me to be her, but he didn't want much different. I needed a role model to fill in the gaps, I had not already figured out. I was used to doing it all.
    I didn't want my children to be lazy and spoiled, so I did give them chores, and we all worked together, but I thought the extra time it gave me, was so I could take on two more part time jobs.
    Fast forward, where did all this get me? All this, neat freak, put yourself last, kids were my whole world, hubby gets it his way...etc. etc. etc.?
    It got me wore out, and unable to work outside of my home. I inherited most of the maladies that both of my parents have, and when my kids left home, I had to go "talk" to someone, bc I was not coping with my the loss of 'my purpose'. It sounds 'cliche', but I had empty nest syndrome, BAD.
    With no one but hubby to cook and clean for, I felt lost. I wasn't sure, that was my problem, until daughter and her hubby, temporarily stayed with us for three weeks, and when they left, I cried and cried. I was in hog heaven, cleaning and cooking, and mothering, etc. Somebody needed me.
    I just can't do all that anymore. After some good 'help', and that is a choice,...everybody doesn't need that kind of help, but I did. I was very good at being a doormat, and needed a professional. It worked.
    I have chronic health issues, so I was forced to slow down. My two top priorities, after medicating allergies, thyroid, ibs,....fibro...etc. blah, blah, blah...are family and quilting.
    I have four beautiful granddaughters now. Hubby is pretty much broke in, the way I want him, and I have a great sewing room. I have to play things by ear, bc of my health, so not much of a schedule. I have one, in my head, and if I can do it, I do. If I feel too bad to stand, I do something sitting, and vice versa.
    Why in the world did I write all this? To let you know, that when you are young, you push yourself to extreme limits, bc you can. Eventually, though, it takes it's toll. Oh, I probably would have got some of these chronic disorders anyway, but, if I could do it all again. What would i change? I did a good job with kids, so not too much there.
    I would make more me time, and less cleaning. I wouldn't have 3 jobs, and a home and kids, and a hubby and pets, all at once. Life IS too short. My kids saw how hard I worked and are all determined, not to do that to themselves. Good for them. I'm glad.
    I keep the floor picked up, the bed gets made. I wash dishes, once a day. If hubby has clean clothes and good food, and tv, he is pretty happy. In some places, I don't have dust bunnies...more like kangaroos. I have to wear a mask to dust, bc it goes so long without. I swipe here and there, a bit, but dusting is the last thing on list.
    The health dept. wouldn't have a problem with my house either. All trash and food scraps keep moving. Like somebody said, I don't make as much mess, so I don't have as much to clean. I hope this makes somebody feel better. Forget, superwoman status, she becomes a sick old lady, after a while! Enjoy yourself more, and be happy and quilt! :D

  13. #38
    Super Member SaraSewing's Avatar
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    This has been pretty inspirational to hear all of you voice my concerns and frustrations. What a group it would be if we were all get together! I'm another one who works, sews, plus all the other things that keep the house running. I keep the house tidy enough to be presentable, but sometimes the computer desk gets pretty cluttered! I sew for relaxation. Just to emphasize there is NO way to get it ALL done, just do what needs to be done, then be sure to take time for yourself. I always tell my nurses (I'm case manager = boss) "you cant take care of anyone else if you don't take care of yourself". So I now order each of you to relax. Besides that, quilting is therapy!!

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