QuiltyLisa

Like Loretta,

I had my kids who are 17 and 20 start doing alot more around the house. I was working 50 plus hour weeks and then coming home scrambling to get dinner on the table and all the other house chores.And I was only getting 4-5 hours od sleep a night! I finally snapped one day when I realized I had not quilted for months because I was doing everything. I am a neat freak so that didn't help.
I sat down and talked with DH and kids and they all chipped in and we made a chore and cooking list and I learned to make a grocery list give my DD the money and her and her brother did the grocery shopping. I was a bit nervous but they did great. (We get our meats at a local meat market and that shopping I do myelf) now we have had some interesting meals but no complaint from me since I did not have to cook..So I got to where I could get a few hours a week sewing in. Now I am laid off (have been for 2 months) and I still have to fit sewing time in because I figured since I was home I "had" to do everything...lol
Got everybody back to the schedule we had when I was working and everybody is happy again.
it took me almost 20 years to realize I CANNOT do it all. And I really don't want to do it all!

thismomquilts

may as well chime in - i too reach the end of the weekend and think - 'i did not sew one of my intended stitches - yet again.' my only day off is on monday - many of my monday's are taken up with friends because i'm so busy during the week that i cannot see them. they want to come over and 'sew' - yeah right - :) we sit and chit chat too much to sew. my kids help out tremendously - own laundry, vaccuming, dishes, but between work, phone calls because of work, my own household responsibilities, caring for stuff outside, etc. i find little time to quilt UNLESS i make the time. DH loves watching TV in the evening - i 'take' two evenings to watch 'my' shows and he has the other five - in which i try to sew... not always does it happen but i try to make the best use of those evenings - he likes when i sit with him (i try to have one handquilting/sewing project always ready for these times). plus i have found that a few stitches/cuts/etc here and there DO add up. just have to be extra careful to not make mistakes.

mimee4

You can't do it all!! One thing that has helped me when I am overwhelmed is to have a 15 minute day. I actually set the timer and work at something - dishes, laundry - for 15 minutes. Then I read or sew for 15 minutes. That's all I can cope with. You might try 30 minute or even 1 hour days.
Phone calls, too. My friends know I'm in a 15 minute day!!
It helps me keep my sanity.

Darlene

When I worked part time I tried tp keep the hopuse clean. Now that I am retired I say to heck with the house and I just do what I want to do and when I see something bad I fix it. Life is too short to do housework everyday in my opinion. Besides we never have company just our DD on Satudays so what the use is it. I keep up the laundry and the baths, make the beds and run vacuum once a week. Not bad HUH?
Mimee I like your 15 minutes days too.

rismstress

I work full time in a very demanding job. Plus I have an active life in my professional organization. My husband retired last fall due to illness so he doesn't do much at home-but he does the grocery shopping and will do an errand or two while I am at work. I live on a list-- this must be done today-- this must be done for next week, etc. Gardening season is here and I will spend most of my free time outside for the next 4 months. So not a lot of time for sewing/quilting/reading. I don't push myself to finish a project- I do it because I love it, not because it must be done. Also, 2 big timesavers- we have a cleaning lady every week. And we have man who does the grass, trimming, and yard cleanup every week. So that's two big things we pay to have done so we can do other things on the weekends. I'd much rather garden or sew than clean the floor.
Cheryl

mpeters1200

First, a big THANK YOU to the wonderful gal who started this thread. It's sooooooooooo good to know that I am not alone.

I am a stay at home mom too, to 3 little boys 7, 6, and 5. My 7 year old is disabled and is often as much work as 3 kids by himself. My husband was laid off and then had a health crisis. He hasn't worked since January. I've been looking for work and have finally found a job. But, it means that I'll have to work 40 hours a week, worry about sick hubby trying to take care of the kids while I'm at work, then still jostle all the house work in my other 16 hours of the day. I admit, I'm a TV junkie, but it's almost May so my regular shows will be over and I get a TON of quilting work done over the summer months. I do not live outside, as my kids would rather do. However, I use the evenings in the summer time to get my piecing and such done.

I'm making 3 D9P's at once which I have to admit I haven't worked on in a month or so. My house isn't spotless, though the people who live here think it should be. I put a little sign on my door that says "If you are looking for Donna Reed, she doesn't live here." Unfortunately, most of the people that come here have no clue who that is. I spend my weekends doing laundry and the rest of the week doing the regular daily stuff. Some days, it's just too much work to haul my machine out.

Then, I kinda go blah and don't go on the board a while..then feel guilty because I don't have the time to be here.

Just trying to get my groove back......I've gotta get my projects out today.

Mousie

I've been sitting here reading every reply and asking myself, if I was going to share my 'experience'. After reading your reply, Bonnie,...how sweet you are...I think I will. It may help some ppl to know.
Many moons ago, I was a young housewife, with three daughters. I thought I had to be superwoman, not bc my mother was,...no, bc she wasn't. I know, backwards. I love my mother, so not criticizing (sp),...but, I grew up, doing most of the housework, and babysat my three younger brothers, to the point, that I felt like their mother.
I married a man, whose mother, was an exceptional housekeeper and cook. She was quiet and dutiful, and basically the way her husband wanted her to be.
Hubby didn't expect me to be her, but he didn't want much different. I needed a role model to fill in the gaps, I had not already figured out. I was used to doing it all.
I didn't want my children to be lazy and spoiled, so I did give them chores, and we all worked together, but I thought the extra time it gave me, was so I could take on two more part time jobs.
Fast forward, where did all this get me? All this, neat freak, put yourself last, kids were my whole world, hubby gets it his way...etc. etc. etc.?
It got me wore out, and unable to work outside of my home. I inherited most of the maladies that both of my parents have, and when my kids left home, I had to go "talk" to someone, bc I was not coping with my the loss of 'my purpose'. It sounds 'cliche', but I had empty nest syndrome, BAD.
With no one but hubby to cook and clean for, I felt lost. I wasn't sure, that was my problem, until daughter and her hubby, temporarily stayed with us for three weeks, and when they left, I cried and cried. I was in hog heaven, cleaning and cooking, and mothering, etc. Somebody needed me.
I just can't do all that anymore. After some good 'help', and that is a choice,...everybody doesn't need that kind of help, but I did. I was very good at being a doormat, and needed a professional. It worked.
I have chronic health issues, so I was forced to slow down. My two top priorities, after medicating allergies, thyroid, ibs,....fibro...etc. blah, blah, blah...are family and quilting.
I have four beautiful granddaughters now. Hubby is pretty much broke in, the way I want him, and I have a great sewing room. I have to play things by ear, bc of my health, so not much of a schedule. I have one, in my head, and if I can do it, I do. If I feel too bad to stand, I do something sitting, and vice versa.
Why in the world did I write all this? To let you know, that when you are young, you push yourself to extreme limits, bc you can. Eventually, though, it takes it's toll. Oh, I probably would have got some of these chronic disorders anyway, but, if I could do it all again. What would i change? I did a good job with kids, so not too much there.
I would make more me time, and less cleaning. I wouldn't have 3 jobs, and a home and kids, and a hubby and pets, all at once. Life IS too short. My kids saw how hard I worked and are all determined, not to do that to themselves. Good for them. I'm glad.
I keep the floor picked up, the bed gets made. I wash dishes, once a day. If hubby has clean clothes and good food, and tv, he is pretty happy. In some places, I don't have dust bunnies...more like kangaroos. I have to wear a mask to dust, bc it goes so long without. I swipe here and there, a bit, but dusting is the last thing on list.
The health dept. wouldn't have a problem with my house either. All trash and food scraps keep moving. Like somebody said, I don't make as much mess, so I don't have as much to clean. I hope this makes somebody feel better. Forget, superwoman status, she becomes a sick old lady, after a while! Enjoy yourself more, and be happy and quilt! :D

SaraSewing

This has been pretty inspirational to hear all of you voice my concerns and frustrations. What a group it would be if we were all get together! I'm another one who works, sews, plus all the other things that keep the house running. I keep the house tidy enough to be presentable, but sometimes the computer desk gets pretty cluttered! I sew for relaxation. Just to emphasize there is NO way to get it ALL done, just do what needs to be done, then be sure to take time for yourself. I always tell my nurses (I'm case manager = boss) "you cant take care of anyone else if you don't take care of yourself". So I now order each of you to relax. Besides that, quilting is therapy!!