QuiltE

Not to worry ... there was no problems between them. It was simply that the groceries were paid via visa, and he paid the visa bill. It was just the way they worked out their personal finances/budgeting. It worked for them!!

Onebyone

Just seemed odd to me to have marriage finances that way but my husband is odd when it comes to bill paying too. I don't even ask because I'd get a full accounting report with spreadsheets with yearly projections. LOL

SusieQOH

I have the same machine and LOVE IT!

WesternWilson

More common than you would think, I expect! When I began quilting in the early 2000's, I had a few older quilters tell me to lay in a big stash as when you retire, there will be no money for quilting fabric. While that was a generation in which men controlled the family finances and grilled their wives over every expenditure, I am not sure all that much has changed.

I know of at least three fabric stores that will split your fabric bill up such that your husband will only see part of your fabric bill.

Most of my friends get flak from their partners if quilting expenses come up. Hoping that changes for younger quilters??

Onebyone

I grew up with the moms being in charge of the bills and buying. The check was brought home and given to the wife to deposit and handle the rest. I remember my grandmother making sure my grandfather had his spending money in cash everyday at the breakfast table. My mother deposited the check, bought groceries and went to the bill paying windows to pay bills in person. I don't remember any tension about money. We lived on what we had to live on.
I would never expect to get flak from my husband about any of my expenses. Every now and then he may say our budget is a little tight this month due to car repair or whatever and that's all he has to say.I don't like dealing with money so I'm glad he takes care of it

ptquilts

It makes me sad when I hear about "hiding purchases" from the husband. I remember my MIL telling me if my FIL asked her how much something cost, like a dress, she would lie and tell him a price less than what she paid. I believe honesty is important to a marriage.

Fizzle

Years ago we were out with friends for ice cream. Her hubby looks down and say “are those new shoes”. She says - oh these, they have been in the closet. Her little boy pipes up and says mommy - those are the shoes we picked up off of layaway today! Hilarious moment for us!

and onebyone - i know several couples that maintain separate accounts. That is odd to me also. Marriage is all or nothing

sometimes my hubby will say at check out line - are you buying or am I? And i laugh as it is all one account

Anniedeb

We're headed to 50 years married, and have always combines finances. Everything goes into the same accounts. That said, we each have our own "stash cash" that we have set aside and use for what ever we want. DH has never questioned my fabric purchases, spends on his own hobbies. This has always worked for us, but I know that it doesn't work for everyone.

retired2pa

My husband passed away suddenly last October, 2023 and I had always been in charge of finances our whole married life. His job took him away a lot and he always had his check sent to me when he was gone. When he died, there's so much you have to do and finances and budget and SS have to be dealt with. I lost his pension when he died so I had to learn to live on SS only.

My advice to those of you that don't like dealing with finances now may someday find yourselves in a position of panic because you don't know what needs to be paid, etc. Believe me, you need to know what's going on with your finances now.

Onebyone

That's sad you lost the pension he worked hard for. Both our pensions are set that the spouse gets 65% of pension after death until death of the surviving spouse. It reduced the amount of pension a little per month but we knew it would be worth it for the survivor of us. If I hadn't see that option before we started drawing the pensions from our work (worked for same company) my husband would have never known about it when filling out his pension papers. HR may have informed him but it would not have registered. If about to retire and have pensions, read everything. Financial details are so important to know especially before you retire. My husband sits with me every few months to go over our finances and where we are at long term.