Kara

Oh... How I know... Mine are 12, 9, almost 8 and 5. The 12yo is a gem. Older, helps out a lot. The younger three.... When they start acting up and are grumpy inside, outside, wherever they may be, I send them all to bed. No talking. No playing. Just go to bed and stay there til I say you can get up. About 10-15 minutes later, I let them up on one condition: get along or you're going to go back to bed.

Sometimes it's not always us who needs a "time-out" and time to yourself. Sometimes they need it, too. So we all go to our "separate corners" and come back when we're feeling calmer.

QuiltyLisa

Jamie- a schedule will be your best friend. I only have 2, mine are now 20 and 17. But when they were little, I was always harried and running ragged and working full-time didnt help. DH really wasnt alot of help eaither. I had to hear on Sat-Sun when I asked if he could get up with them and he would say" I'm tired I worked all week". Well hello so do I!. So we sat down with the kids and worked a schedule and what we did is we bought a timer and we would set it outside of my quiltroom door and set it for one hour and during that hour DH would watch the kids or if the kids needed anything they would go to him. When the timer when off then and only then could they bother mom.

many times when the kids wanted something, they would walk right past DH and come and knock on the bathroom door or where ever I was to ask me. I would say wheres dad..they would say"downstairs". I asked why didnt you ask Dad..reply--I dont know" it drove me nuts!

Kara

Oh, My!!! I was reading and said to myself, "That's exactly how it is at my house!!"

I started working part-time in the evenings, and DH had quite the learning experience having to deal with kids and supper and dishes and laundry and showers and..........

He says he can't do "everything". I reminded him that we have children who know how to do the dishes and do laundry and put away leftovers from supper and broom and......... they just need told. And if you keep the TV off, you have their attention and they get done faster.

Jamie

OMG! well my hubby is my kids step dad, and were not even officialy married, so the only time they listen to him at all is when he is punishing them, and even then they still look to me for " help" no one has ever asked anyone other than mommy for anything, except for once when I said No and that wasn't exceptable for them. My "quiet" time is after bed...usualy when Im too exhausted to do anything...I don't have a sewing room, I have a table in the front of the livingroom. I asked hubby if we could turn our bedroom into a sewing room and just sleep on the couch lol...he said Yes, but I know he doesn't really mean it :) Hubby also has 2 kids of his own...older than mine..so the only two spare rooms in the house are the ones we built for them when they come over on the weekends.. so I dont even have a place to hide for an hour or two.

Jamie

And this is what children are for, my only question is why do our hubbies always tell us they cant do everything, and it is to much for them, when they are the ones doing it, but we do it ever day by ourselves, and it isn't to much for us/?

barnbum

When things got frustrating here...I'd remind myself the kids didn't ask to be here--I invited them. And that helped put it all in perspective. And I knew God is always watching. :wink:

Find the joy in each day--do simple things together--tell them you love them--and hug them up. Live each day with no regrets.

Rhonda

A game I played with my kids who are now grown and i do it with my grands when needed is the Little Red Schoolhouse. The rules are everyone has to be silent and the first one to talk loses! It works great in the car!! You can have prizes if you want I never did it was just for fun. It helps get the noise level down for awhile anyway!!.

I also used to sing with the kids. It is a great way to bond and it gets their attention off whatever the noise was about. I also used this in the car but my grands love to sing with me now. We do what ever kid songs and other Christian ditties I learned as a child like Jesus loves me or we do things like 5 little monkeys jumping on the bed for the little ones. It is fun and gets their attention when you want them to calm down.

A tip I learned when I worked in daycare was to sit down and begin to clap your hands. Vary your clapping over your head - under your leg or change the rythm and kids will stop and join in most of the time. You can also snap your fingers or do a Simon Says sort of thing. Can you pat your tummy and rub your head? It works to get their attention.

One more thing we did was when the noise got too much we would shut off the light and make everyone sit down somewhere. It makes a point that the noise is too high.

Mousie

wow, this sounds just like what I did with my kids. I didn't get up early like this...my, 'me' time was after they went to bed. I have just never been a tv watcher, so I would do whatever interested me, during this time, and sometimes it was housework, but sometimes, it was a book, or sewing etc.
They were on a schedule from the time they came into the world, and we all thrived on it.
Hubby wanted everything to be spontaneous, but that created havoc, so he went along, to get along, and all was good.
You have to find your own rhythm, but I can tell you, I love all three of my son in laws, but I could tell you by the ways my daughters are acting, when their hubbies are going thru a, "I need to lay in the bed" phase. It makes them feel, like a maid, a slave, and a babykeeper,...unappreciated etc.
I don't know your circumstances. Your husband might work midnights, and have to be in bed, but it's that, - it's all on my shoulders, thing, that drags you down. You feel alone with it all.
Do you have any family close? girlfriends with kids, your kids could play with, while you two have some girl time?
Some days, you may have to scream into a pillow, or turn up the radio, while your using the bathroom...just for a minute or two...depends on ages of kids. This is good, when you have teens, to drown out smart mouths. I only had one of those, and didn't have a radio in the bathroom then. If i had, I wouldn't be as nutty as I am now. :D
I do agree with Ninnie, and I know it may sound cliche...but really and truly...this too shall pass.

JoanneS

ROFLMBO :lol: :lol: :lol:

Tim - do you really have kids? :roll:

dojo36

well ladies may i tell my story? my husband and i could not have children, (he was sterile), we went to doctors, we tried - to no avail. Finally after 9 years of marriage, we adopted a newborn baby girl. She was the joy of our lives. I always wanted to get pregnant and have several children but that just wasn't to be. I would have given anything to be in "your" shoes. I'm not underminding the frustrations you go through raising several children, i was from a family of 7 children and so was my husband. when our daughter was 3 years old, my husband had a heart attack and we couldn't pass the strict adoption agency rules for health purposes, so we had to settle for just one. When our daughter was 13, my husband died and I was left to finish raising her alone - which was not easy at times. But I made it and yall are right, time does pass and circumstances change - my wonderful daughter is now 45, a school teacher, and i'm 72 and still work part time as a barber. I realize when you're young it's difficult to imagine yourself old but it does happen and so quickly too it seems like. so i consider all of you extremely fortunate to have your children and I know you do too. When I was a kid and griped about something, my dad said i used to complain that i didn't have any shoes till i met a man that didn't have any feet.