I think being a PARENT of adult children is so much harder than being a parent of a 2 year old. You can get by with telling a 2 year old what to do. A 22 year old will tell you what to do..... Relationships are sssssooooooo fragile when they are young adults.... They so need to find their own way. They will, but it can take time - we've all been there eh?

You may have to just wait until she's ready. She may never take up needlework, some people just aren't "handy". Just wait until she asks you.

I do agree with all the "don't push" advice.

I've discovered, in my retirement, that getting together with a group of women to make charity quilts is a lot of fun. Do you think she would enjoy helping you make a few very simple charity quilts. Baby quilts are fun, and can be quick. Perhaps just piece a top together, and plan to finish it on your own. I don't think I would plan on sending anything home with her to finish -- that might be too much pressure.

If you have fun, schedule another 'quilting day' in a few months. If she can't seem to find a free day, don't say anything for a few years!

I want to start by saying that I have not read so far on the first 7 pages where anyone has been nasty or hateful in their replies. They read your post, digested it, and replied from their gut. If you did not want to hear their answers, you should not have asked.
This FDIL must be your first! Please don't alienate her. Once you do that it will be so hard to get her back into your grips! Love her for who she is and what she loves to do.
Not all of us like the same things. I have sewn and made my clothes since I was 10, but to quilt.......NO way, I never wanted to do such a thing until I was 59 yrs old. Now I love it.
As a Mother, Daughter, Granddaugher, and Mother in Law I know now I do not like people to force me to try to do something I don't want to do.
Give her space. She will eventually realize how beautiful your quilts are and if interested will ask you to help her get started making one.
Let her know you are there for her anytime she is interested you will be willing to help her. I would not start buying or making her kits though unless she asks you to. I don't know what kind of relationship you have with her, but that might be a little pushy for now.

DIL's and MIL's usually need to step softly until they really have established a good relationship. I know you will always want to be a good MIL and a friend to her. I have known to many people who have created issued that haunt their relationship for the rest of their lives. You have a long life and many good years ahead of you in your relationship with her and your son and their future family. Remember, they will be having children which will be your Grandchildren and you do not want to have s strained relationship during these wonderful years!
I know you want her as a quilting partner now, but give it time, if it is meant to be, she will come around. Don't rush or push it.

I am sorry you have taken all of the comments from people you don't agree with as nasty. I don't think any of them intended to be nasty. They, along with myself, read your post and gasped!! We understood that you were wanting to force her to become a quilter. We are not all meant to be quilters, maybe she isn't either. But even if she isn't, I bet she will shine somewhere else in something else that she does, and maybe she will be able to teach you something she enjoys.
I truely hope the two of you will have a long and strong loving relationship through the years to come.
Good Luck with however you choose to deal with this issue!
Sincerely not meaning to be nasty or hateful....

a tote bag may interest her more than a quilt... or a trendy new purse!!

Don't force it..we each have our own talents and gifts. Let her come to you when she's ready/interested. You might be percieved as "overbearing" if you push it. Just let her be her own person.

I agree with other members of the board. Get to know her as a person. We are so excited about our quilting, we want everyone to quilt. It just isn't going to happen with every-one. That's good. If we weren't all very different, how could we fit together? Your future DIL may take up quilting, she may not. Please don't push.

Not everyone has to love quilting or have any desire to learn it. Doesn't make her a bad person. She probably has her own interests and the quickest way to cause a breach between you is to make her feel she has to do it just to please you.

i think you are pushing her , not everyone is interested in doing something like this , i would just let her be adnyou should just kindly let her know that if and when she decides to want to quilt you would be there to help her

now on the other hand i have a pushy mother in law and the more she pushes the more i stand my ground and refuse to do what she wants me to!!! and i am at the point that when she calls i dont answer the phone and i dread the thought of her coming to my house because she thinks i should do things that she likes and i like to do things that i want to do

This may not be her cup of tea- or at least not at this time. I have a daughter who is intellectualy gifted and she strugles with these things as they don't quite ft her pattern of thouhgt. We work around it by designing items and then creating

I wouldn't even consider trying to get my DIL interesting in quilting. She wasn't raised learning needlework it seems. My DIL isn't a sewer either, but is creative in her own way. Before my DGD arrived DIL used to make cards. Now that she doesn't have much spare time around working part time (at a paying job) and being a full time Mom when she's at home I wouldn't even think of suggesting any craft thing.

If your DIL shows interest in needle work, try embroidery. Maybe she can learn to do red work blocksd which you could then put into a quilt.

But I would definitely not force the subject on her.

Give her time, I sewed when I was younger and enjoyed that, but I put it aside for many years, then when my niece was about to be born I decided that I wanted to make her something special, so off to my LQS I went and it took me until she was 10 months old to finish it, since then, he is now 30, I have made more than 50 quilts for friends, family and myself, give her time, if she says she's interested, go for it, otherwise gift her with fun quilted items :D

People have different likes and dislikes. I don't think there is anything to make someone want to do something they have no interest in. Just keep quilting around her. Maybe she will pick it up or want to make something. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink.

I have the same problem my dil has never sewen at all so I got her a sewing machine & I'm taking some scraps of my material & everything else she may need to get started & I'm going to set down & we will do something together. She is really looking forward to me arriving so we can get started(I'm in Tx She's in Mn)We'll start with strip sewing so it will go fast & she can get the feel, Having never sewn before long strips are a good start then cut & sew again, hope there is little ripping Ha Ha after she is interested hopefully the rest will grow. working together should help hold her interest. Good Luck

I have the same problem my dil has never sewen at all so I got her a sewing machine & I'm taking some scraps of my material & everything else she may need to get started & I'm going to set down & we will do something together. She is really looking forward to me arriving so we can get started(I'm in Tx She's in Mn)We'll start with strip sewing so it will go fast & she can get the feel, Having never sewn before long strips are a good start then cut & sew again, hope there is little ripping Ha Ha after she is interested hopefully the rest will grow. working together should help hold her interest. Good Luck

My daughter has problems with her eyesight, and although she loves to shop for fabric with me, and has tried, cannot sew. I end up creating quilts for her and for her to give to her friends, who are now getting married and having babies and treasure thinking about her as I do it.

I think this says it all. You don't want to alienate her. The most you can do is talk about what you do and as nance-ell says she'll ask questions if she wants join in.

I think when she is ready to learn, she will approach you for help. Not a good thing to force someone to like what you like.

My DD enjoyed quilting with me while she was in N.J. for a visit. She mae a PP table topper. So I sent her a starter kit of rotary cutter, mat, and a ruler. I also encluded the PP pattern that she used and some fat quarters in the colors of her living room. To make a long story short, they are still sitting in her closet 2 yrs. later. She said it was more fun sewing with me than it is by herself. Young people like doing things with friends. So why don't you ask her if she would like to have a sewing afternoon with you. Spending time in your quilting area might just be inspiring to her.

Enjoy the differences you have.....don't force her to try and enjoy your hobby...but let her know that if ever she wants to have a go you would love to help.
Each of us are different and she may never love sewing.
My husband loves music and wouldn't know what a sewing needle was for.....I really don't like music and would much rather listen to a play on the radio......We have two daughters....one who sews and one who loves music and will never sew I don't think........I love them both equally and I love them for being different !

......however I am concerned in your originally post that you stated

"She is truly a lovely young girl, but she has not learned to use her time wisely, or to make anything with her hands ... "

.......I would be very sad if someone thought that of my daughter who doesn't want to sew !!!

Invite her - or ask for her help - some rainy weekend with, a quick project. You will find out - for now - how she feels. Plan to treat her with a nice lunch, and hopefully have fun together, and build a base slowly of quilting projects. You don't have to finish it ....that day, but leave something for "next time" ? Perhaps the friendship will come first?

I offered to make curtains for my DIL so we had to go shopping together for fabric. I won't say the interest 'took off', but she is now making additional curtains and has asked about quilting as I have made them for the children. She also made a simple dress for her daughter -- it's a start.

I am in the same boat with my sister. She says that the genius stopped before she was born. My second Daughter also thinks the same thing. At least one of my 2 daughters are into sewing and now she is starting to do quilting along with the other sewing things that she does for other people.
So don't push her, My 2 GD's are yet to be shown properly the advantages of quilt making.

Your first child to marry? :D Relax and let like interests develop, if they will, but she's marrying your son and not you. I know it's hard for us who love fabric to comprehend, but some people are interested only in the finished product -- as I am with gardening.

My Mom didn't sew (only fixed things) Both grandmothers did. I learned at a 12 (making clothes) Neither of my daughters are interested. It is too easy to have MOM do it.
I didn't take up quilting until I was about 40. As to your DIL, leave her be. She will ask for your help when she is ready. Meanwhile, show her all the great stuff you make and gift her with something once in a while.