THanks Blue Chicken...your thought express my feelings better than my previous answer.

Recently I have not checked e-mails very often so this is a late comment. In previous posts I have talked about our autistic granddaughter who has learned and is still learning to quilt. In ARD meetings at school with some highly educated (?) administrative people in attendance, I have taken examples of her work. So few of these "professionals" have understood the great accomplishment of this skill. Usually, the classroom teachers, especially the art teachers, get it. It amuses me to note that the classroom teachers are normally dressed in comfortable shoes, practical working clothes, with down to earth attitudes and expectations while the administrative group appear in the latest fashions with perfect hair and make-up and absolutely no clue concerning our kids accomplishments. It would appear that these "dressed-up" models are more interested in themselves than the kids, so there could not be any kind of appreciation for any accomplishments of these special kids. I would assume that giving these people anything that did not have a designer tag would be totally unappreciated. On the other hand most of the teachers who see her daily in the classroom understand how hard she has worked on her quilting project and the talent she has for putting colors together as well as her quality workmanship. Haley is now 15 and continues to make great strides. The school has only wanted to teach her to print and has really refused to introduce cursive writing. Haley, with a little help from me, has taught herself to write, but at the beginning of this school year began bringing home work papers which were those pre-k work sheets which have the kids tracing the letters and numbers!!!!!!! I just don't get it, and I hope I left them "burned up" after our recent meeting where I told them they had wasted their time, Haley's time, my time!!!! If we think we have a lot invested in our quilting supplies, can any one of us even calculate the amount of money that has gone into the education (??????) of these people for special needs children??? Then there is their salaries which our tax money pays!!!!!!! When I read comments about not being thanked or appreciated for the gift of a quilt, I am remined of the educators who have no appreciation for the accomplishments of a developmentally challenged student. You can bet your behind that some of the educators I've seen couldn't understand how important quilts were to the pioneers or how a lot of them were so clever in using their scraps to produce an article to protect themselves and their families from the cold. By the way, my best friend is a 4th grade teacher. She is just as surprised as I over some of the attitudes from school, and like I stated earlier it has normally been the classroom teacher who understands the efforts and accomplishments of their students and for these teachers, I have great love and appreciation.

For the ultimate in not appreciating a quilt that breaks my heart... My grandmother died about 10 years ago and some time before she died she told me that she was visiting her daughter (my aunt) and saw that the double wedding ring quilt she had given her daughter that HER mother had made (my Great Grandmother) was stuffed between the seat and the foot rest of a recliner and her husband had his "nasty feet" dug into it.

That is mind boggling! Not only didn't she appreciate the work that went into a quilt but treated a family heirloom like the cheapest blanket. I would give anything to have that quilt.

I posted a pic of some of the 80 Grandmother's Fan blocks that my Great Grandmother made around 1936 and that I will be putting together and someone's comment was right on... It is fortunate that they fell into my hands rather than someone who didn't know what they had.

well, my daughters have some idea that if mama gives you a homemade anything, better at least make some effort bc about four years ago I wore myself out one christmas crafting. Nobody even blinked! They grew up with me sewing for them, the house, etc. etc. and I didn't say much, but got into a slump, probably an anxiety that I put on myself, but couldn't sew for anybody but the grandbabies out of fear that they wouldn't like it.
Think they must have discussed it, bc they have voiced interest in my quilting stuff since then. I have openly said that if I did all that work and spent all that money, if they weren't pleased, to please keep it, even if it's in a closet and lie to me about how much they love it, lol!
They love me and i know that. Think they think i am going to make them something out of double knit or huge flowers like a hippie van, lol!
I used to like everything. I think my tastes have improved greatly, but I pay attention to what others like and have even asked them about preferences.
Now the grandbabies are very appreciative. I have one that hugs everything and ooh's and aw's big time.
I so agree though, ppl have no idea. To buy a gift is nice. To make a gift...that's priceless. C

Buddy Bear is a 6 yr. old Pomeranian. Spoiled rotten and smart. Becomes really jealous when I'm quilting.

:roll: Yes, I've had that reaction too often. My sister told me once when I got laid off from my job, "Good, now you have all this time, you can make me a quilt..." Did she not think that perhaps I might be busy looking for another job? She bought the fabric, and with the agreement, that when it was all done, she would at least pay me for the machine quilting in the end ($150). Of course, when I sent it to her, she sent me a thank you card thanking me for the "gift"....I mentioned to her that it was $150.00 that she owed me and referred to our "agreement"... She then said, "Well, I didn't get an invoice." I replied, "I didn't think I had to invoice integrity..." My check came 1 year later.

It was at that point that I made the decision to only make things for personal use in my own home, grandbabies, for sale, or charity.

NO, people don't get it.

I don't think that we are being unreasonable expecting a thank you note.

The ones that "get it" are the ones that buy quilts and those of us to make them.

:roll:

bluechicken, I posted before i saw more replies including yours.
I wouldn't change my reply, but when I read yours it helped my perspective.
It's not the product as much as the process. I can't agree 100% simply bc I have really liked some of the stuff i have made. I quilted a tote bag that I use everyday and never put it on the floor anywhere, but your right. I get so much out of the process of quilting.
I'm not looking for huge accolades for my work, just don't jam it in a crack to put your feet on....good grief! or use like a grease rag.
I'm not embarrassed to say i would like at least the same appreciation that anyone should express for any gift they receive.

think that it is awesome that an autistic child is learning quilting. I have a handicapped daughter, brother and sister-in-law, plus I forget, I have a couple myself. People used to go into education for the love of it. No appreciation for what they are doing either...so unable to show it with others. Well, thank goodness for those ppl in this world that smell the flowers, etc. they are enriching their own lives when they do.

bluechicken, I posted before i saw more replies including yours.
I wouldn't change my reply, but when I read yours it helped my perspective.
It's not the product as much as the process. I can't agree 100% simply bc I have really liked some of the stuff i have made. I quilted a tote bag that I use everyday and never put it on the floor anywhere, but your right. I get so much out of the process of quilting.
I'm not looking for huge accolades for my work, just don't jam it in a crack to put your feet on....good grief! or use like a grease rag.
I'm not embarrassed to say i would like at least the same appreciation that anyone should express for any gift they receive.

think that it is awesome that an autistic child is learning quilting. I have a handicapped daughter, brother and sister-in-law, plus I forget, I have a couple myself. People used to go into education for the love of it. No appreciation for what they are doing either...so unable to show it with others. Well, thank goodness for those ppl in this world that smell the flowers, etc. they are enriching their own lives when they do.

I can say from experience that non-quilters do not know what goes into the making of a quilt. I have people say can't you make a full size one in a day. I tell them only if I were an Octopus!! Then I explain all what goes in to making the quilt, they look at me like I've lost my mind. I just say I do it cause I like it and its fun. And it gives me pleasure. Maybe if they tried it, they would understand more. Keep your chin up, after 10 yrs. of doing this, my folks still don't get it, and my Dad's mother was a quilter. Go figure.

hand one of the administrators a few scraps of fabric and lets see what they can do, as i have always felt, quilting is from the heart

teetee, your absolutely right quilt making has to come from the heart or it would never get done. Cause it takes a person with alot of heart and caring to put all that heart and love into one just to get it finished. My mom-in-law used to say (passed away last year) that I had to much heart, so she was glad I became a quilt maker. She said it kept me out of trouble, and my mind and hands busy. She was my biggest fan!! She never was bored when I needed to use her brain for some quilt ideas, and she was always willing to help even though she didn't make quilts herself, she crocheted. But she encouraged me every step of the way and that is what all quilters need, from old to the new ones. Cause this can get frustrating at times. But for me, its worth every minute of frustration, stress, to the fun and joy of the completion when you can step back and look at the great work you did.

i have not made hardly any quilts. i want to quit but don't really have the time--working full time. the few times i have made quilts, they seem to be treasured. i made one for a sister 30 years ago. upon her death, my other sister spotted an old quilt in her belongings and knowing how much i love quilts, sneaked it away for me. when i received it, i kept looking at it thinking it looked familar. lo, and behold, the quilt was very tattered but i recognized those awful stitches. she had kept that quilt all those years, had used it until it was worn out and had laundered it and put it into something to perserve it. in my grief, i threw the quilt away knowing i would probably never restore it. :(

How wonderful to know she treasured it for so long and how sad that you threw it out, sometimes don't you wish you could go back in time and change things?

every quilt I have made and given away has been greatly appreciated....and only one has gone to a quilter. Even though people might not know the amount of work it takes or every detail that goes into making one, MOST people still appreciate the work and the gift. I made a comment before about most people not knowing what goes into making a quilt, but then again I don't know the amount of work and detail a carpenter puts into their furniture...but I still greatly appreciate the work they do.

I realize that some of you have had bad experiences with recipients of your gifts and I'm sad that that has caused you to swear off of making gifts for people unless you know beforehand that they would appreciate it.

If you are making quilts for the love of quilting and giving them to people you love, then continue to do that, regardless of reactions from a few. I don't feel there is any reason to tell someone how much it costs (unless they are going to pay you for it) or how much time it took - to me that sounds like seeking glory for yourself instead of honoring the recipient of the quilt with the gift, which is really what it is all about, for me.

i thought about keeping it but needed somehow to not keep it. my sister committed suicide and that about destroyed me. she had schizophrena and all the quilt brought more sadness. i really don't regret throwing it away... i took a long time hugging the quilt, sniffing of her laundry detergent (the smell was still there) and keeping the quilt wouldn't bring back her----

(((granpee))) it probably wasn't easy sharing your story, but each one helps us all along our way. thanks.

I don't mean to veer off the topic on hand here, but i would like to say that I am so so amazed at how giving all of you are. I made one quilt so far, and it is like my baby, I don't think I can give it away. I am working on another one, and I don't think I can give that away either, I guess am still in my selfish ages, LOL,maybe I will gorw out of that when I have kids and such. And don't get me wrong, Il ove my family and friends, but during the process of making my quilt I was getting attached to it someway, and THIS is why I am quilting, it is becoming a passion of mine. I consider myself a giver, and I think my family and friends would agree, but man I am so amazed by all of you who make all these quilts to give away, and I am humbled by it. It sadens me to know that some people can't understand and treasure that.

Just felt that I need to share that with you, I've been reading this thread for a while and just humbled by how giving you all must be. I respect that immesly. Thanks for showing me that. ( Great, now I feel like I need to be giving aways quilts, LOL)

Candi

good news! i talked to one of my daughters and she said she retrieved the quilt of my sister's that i thought i had thrown away. i guess i will be restoring it after all.

That's exciting Granpee.

granpee there are times when I want to quit as well, but this is what I do, I can no longer work out of home because of medical problems, so I started to make quilts to pass my time now I make them for family and take a few orders now and then. I made to full size for my parents a few years ago, my Mom had to sleep in a different room from Dad because of a medical problem, so I made a quilt for her bed cause she complained she was cold at nite, and then later on on Dad said his bed didn't look right without one on his. So now that they are back in the same bed, every winter my Mom puts my quilts out one on their bed and one on the geust bed. Mom protects those quilts, like they were gold. In the summer they are put up carefully and stored until cold weather gets here and then they come out again to go on the beds. Your sister loved your quilt very much! And treasured it till the end. When a quilt is tattered and used with love, then the person who received that quilt treasured it, cause that is why quilts are made to be used and treasured till its falling apart.

thank you for your post. you are right, she did love it. we had a lot of competition with each other as teen-agers but right before she died, we became close. i'm glad my daughter retrieved the quilt. i remember finishing the quilt as i traveled from my home in north carolina to ky and i finished it as soon as we drove to my hometown. it was her Christmas prewent. i'm sorry, y'all, for making this subject into a sad one

i,ve always gotton a wow so much work and a big hugs and kisses a and then oh how beauitful and then a big thank you all in that order

I have that problem with several people and it is not just quilts. I can not tell you how many gifts I have given without receiving a Thank you card. I have been to weddings and have not received Thank you cards for gifts given. I know they received the gift because the checks were cashed.

YES!, I just about know why also, it's because you can go to some stores, and buy hand quilted quilts for as little as $15.00 around here. I don't know where they are getting the fabric, and getting it hand quilted, and make any money off of a quilt for that price. I went to a craft show, and there were two ladies selling these $15.00 quilts for $65.00 a piece. I know they were from that store, because they still had them in the bags that they came from the store in. The quilts were the same colors, same patterns, and every thing.
So, to answer your question, I know that people do not know how much time and money is put into a homemade quilt, or any item for that matter.
The only people that knows are true quilters like you and me. I am sorry that it keeps happening to you, did you tell every one that you made the quilts? If you didn't, maybe they thought that you bought the quilts.
I made my daughter a quilt for her wedding, and when I asked her if they were enjoying the quilt, she told me she was afaid it would get messed up. She told me it is still in the bag in a closet. I told her it was made for them to use. Oh well, what can we do? Just keep making the quilts, just because we love doing it.

I did my first quilt five years ago and it was Storm at Sea. I took the class at Joann' and I thought that I would finish it in the class. What a surprise! I started in April and didn't finish until November. Each night I would go to my sewing room and sew away. One night my husband asked me how much longer. I said that I didn't know. So he equated it with baseball, asking me what inning was I in; I told him that I was in spring training. I gave the quilt to our son who lives in Florida and I thought that it was appropriate because he was near the ocean.

Barbara
Fallston, Maryland

Maureen B, my Gramma used to say if you don't send a Thank you card or say thank you in some way, then you are ingrateful and should not receive a gift. I think that people who don't do this just weren't raised right. They weren't taught the values that need to be taught. It is so sad that this is what this world is coming to... Thankless!! But don't give up, do the quilts cause you like to do them. Not for the Thanks! The joy is in the creation of the work of art. And know that you will get your reward later in the here after.

When i started quilting, i quilted a top my mother in law had made and boy did i quilt it (Hand quilted ) and it was really pretty small squares old
fabrics. so ihad a neice just married and gave it too her at christmas a few years ago and told her it was pieced by her grandmother ,(Passed)
I really thought she would be happy with it she smiled and thats all.Never once did she say thank for the first time in my life i wanted too take a gift back she didn't know how prescious that quilt is. I peiced the blks she had made probably 2 months work plus how it made me feel to finish mom's work.Maybe some day it will dawn on her. and she will enjoy it. well boy did i just rant. thats life i guess. :D :D :D :D

no the memory will be forever embeded in you mind.

She obviously has no idea of the love, and labor that goes into. That is a shame. My mother quilted, I was 8 yrs old when she passed, I think that is one of the reasons it is special to me. With most gifts I never care what they do with them once they leave my hands, but, quilts, now that is a different story. I have nothing left from my mom, just the memories, but i would just kill for one of her quilts.

In 2007 the editor of our little homeowners newsletter was ill and we needed an article informing our homeowners of the upcoming Christmas party for the kids of our neighborhood with snacks, Santa giving out toys and having pictures made while Ms. Santa takes kids for a ride in a horse drawn wagon. I wrote an article about "Making Memories" which outlined our Christmas activities in my grandfathers home and equated this with the memories we are now making for our children and grandchildren. Each year we have larger turn-outs for this neighborhood event and parents are telling me how much their children look forward to this. Because there has been such an increase in expenses in 2008, I was looking for a way to cut costs for this event so I spent the entire day of the "party" making yeast rolls (dozens and dozens and dozens) to "stretch" our food. The clubhouse smelled of baking bread and even spilled out to the kids and parents getting on the wagon with Ms. Santa. There were so many people who thanked me for this effort, and for this I am greatful; BUT my greatest pleasure was seeing how almost the whole room moved to the serving table when the hot rolls were coming out of the kitchen. I think there were children there who had never had homemade bread. I hope when they are grown adults with children of their own, they will remember a time in their childhood when our neighborhood came together for such a fun time. Those of us who quilt because we remember our grandmothers and/or mothers quilting may have taken away a memory of our childhood that neither our grandmothers or mothers expected. I remember how my mother's sisters exchanged patterns (cut from newspapers), fabric scraps, feed sacks, etc. There was always meals shared, sleep overs, lots of laughter and my mother went home to begin her quilt. Now I actually don't remember her cutting out the fabric or sewing it together for I would have been in school or outside playing or in bed asleep. Later on one of my aunts talked about how hard they all worked to get quilts made for their families and most of the time they only got to work on these after all of their work was finished for the day. Their worked included milking cows, making gardens, canning vegetables. They must have been really tired before they ever sat down to quilt, but without television this must have been a time to settle down before bed time. Sometimes I am sad that our children are so caught up in video games, t.v., going to the mall, etc. Do anyone of you remember how exciting it was to have a new Sears & Roebuck catalogue??? or having the postman deliver a box of baby chickens??? Anyway I guess the point of this walk down memory lane is that many times those of us who quilt, do so because this was an important, happy part of our lives, so I concentrate on making the quilt project in my home a happy, fun time. This week my granddaughter is out of school because she does not have to take final exams. Today we are beginning a quilt for her baby brother. I will cut out the squares and she will be sewing. We don't worry about cleaning house or doing much cooking and if we want, we will stay in our p.j. or gown all day because it is too cold to be outside. When she is an adult and I am no longer with her, I hope she will have comfort and pleasure in remembering these days just as I find comfort and happiness in remembering the days with many of my folks who are now gone. Quilts are so much more than just fabric, thead, color -- that is when someone really takes the time to think about it. Right now one of my husband's grandmother's quilts which is the most gosh awful thing you've ever seen, is covering a Bird of Pardise plant he is especially proud of in order to protect it from freezing. I am sure he remembers her each time that quilt goes over that plant.

Okay, you made me get my box of tissues. I do remember the fresh baked rolls, the Sears Catalog coming to the house, Metal rollerskates, double runner ice skates, skating on the creeks in the winter, all the good stuff. I am so thankful to you for sharing your life with all of us. When my mother passed away I inherited a quilt she had started in 1952 in anticipation of my brothers birth and it has the 48 (not 50) state flowers embroidered into it and was never completed so I got to work on it and I treasure it. I even put it in the home town bi-centennial celebration so others could remember her. I think it is the only quilt she ever tried to make. It was still kinda in pieces when I got it but she had traced a beautiful pattern on one of the plain squares that I presume she had planned to hand quilt when it was in its final stages. I duplicated that pattern and pieced it, then hand quilted that beautiful pattern into it. That quilt means so much to me and I feel that she and I had a special connection while I worked on it even though she was in heaven at the time it was done. I also inherited a quilt top that was made by my grandmother in the 20's and I am trying to get it hand quilted also. It has silk flowers on it and they are rather tattered and torn. I asked a quilt appraiser to advise me on it and she said, "honey, just finish it the way it is and treasure the memories you have of her" so that is what I am doing. My sister wanted to throw them both out and she is an artist (she makes life sized features of people for sale), but I gathered them up from her and said I would take care of them. I am so glad that I was given the gift of being a quilter. I am teaching a couple of my grandchildren to quilt also and it gives me such pleasure. Thanks again for the memories.

That brought tears to my eyes, and alot of good warm memories. As i have stated before, quilts serve many purposes, and come from the heart.
What was once a neccessity urned into a wonderful memorie

I agree that most of us have had varying degrees of thanks expressed for our quilt gifts, from tears of gratitude to utter silence. The recipients who fail to acknowledge may be the type of people who never express thanks, written or oral, no matter what you gift them. The quilting process is so enriching and fulfilling. We shouldn't let the rudeness of people spoil our pleasure, but we should be very, very selective for whom we labor all those hours. As Mary Quite Contrary pointed out, it is often much more satisfying to just donate to our favorite charities without the expectation of a thank you.

Sometimes the recipients who are the least vocal are the most appreciative in their own quiet way. I handmade an applique quilt for my nephew over thirty years ago when he was born when Pac Man was all the rage. It was a crude, whimsical, cartoonish quilt before rotary cutters were introduced and machine quilting became the standard. He has never mentioned it to me, but his mom said he loved it to death growing up, left it in his bedroom when he went off to college and [/u]he still has it!!!

I belong to an organization at my church that is world wide and we make quilts for those who are hurting, have lost a family member or are going through divorces, etc. I have found that those are the quilts I love making the most and I do not want the recipient to know that it was me who made it. I love giving from the heart and for me the joy has always been in the making. I do not buy or make gifts only to get a "thank you", I do it because I love the person and once a gift is given it is no longer mine. I am sorry for all those who feel angered by the lack of appreciation of the recipients but please allow your heart to soften, it makes quilt making so much more enjoyable.

I made a hand appliqued penguin quilt for my cousin's grand daughter for Christmas this past year. When she got it she picked it up, started off down the hallway without a word, when her Gramma asked where she was going with it, she said I am taking it where I take all the things I love and treasure, to my room. From the mouth of a 3 yr. old. When my cousin relaid the messege I had to laugh, it made my day. A child would treasure a quilt enough to put it in her room right away so it wouldn't get messed up. To me that was my Thanks enough. Some people don't have to say anything, its their reactions and their eyes that tell the whole story.

oh, i loved that about the three year old. i made my grandson a train quilt and i have a picture of him with a smile on his face. he thanked me and it's on his bed.

I recently made a baby quilt for my niece, and when my sister-in-law opened, she simply said, "Oh, how nice." My brother was a little more appreciative, but then again, we had grown up with only hand made quilts from our great grandmother on our beds. Last weekend we went to visit again, about 3 weeks after the gift was given, and I found the quilt thrown in the corner of my other niece's closet. To make matters worse, the cat was sleeping soundly on top of it. At least someone likes my quilt!

Anyway, I was in the process of making my 3 year old niece a quilt for her bed, but I don't think I can bring myself to finish it...not right now anyways.

if i ever had the pleasure of receiving a hand-made quilt, i would treasure it so much. i know how much work and cost goes in them and how much someone's heart is in the quilt.

Barbara "Nana" thanks for sharing your beautiful memories with us. I too remember many of the same things. It was especially exciting when the Sears Roebuck catalog came, days and days of looking and wishing. I still have the lap quilt my Grandmother made me in the 60's it will never fall apart thanks to polyester :D also have the cotton one she gave my mother which is now mine. It is worn and loved the material is starting to come apart. We seem to live in a disposable time where people get rid of things becasue the color is no longer in style. Where it cost more to repair something than to buy a new one. So sad :( My project for last year was to make lap quilts for my 6 cousins in loveing memory of our Grandmother. Goal was accomplished and it made me feel good. I am sure it was more important to me than to my cousins gauged on their varying degree of responses. But it was important to me and doesn't lesson the time I spent making them and the memories it brought back to me of time with Grandma. I won't be making any other quilts for that particular qroup of people.lol. I think making quilts for unknown people like womens shelters ect. is best. You don't expect a thank you and I am sure they are appreciated but if not we don't know that. :-)
As with many things, no ... non quilters don't have a clue, as with anything that a person doesn't make themseves, woodworking, jewelry making, glass blowing ect. Who knows maybe a hundred years from now some of our quilts will be treasured by someone that has no ties to our families at all. I volunteered at a historical home and it had a crazy quilt on a cot in a childs room that was made while the civil war was going on and tours of children groups could actually lightly touch something that old that was a piece of history. They were just amazed and it was so wonderful to see and hear their excited expressions of aw.