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I think that we experienced quilters have the responsibility to be ENcouraging of new quilters. We need to tell them what we would have wanted to hear about our first quilt, or top, or paperpieced block, or whatever. And if it's truly horrible and we can't even like the color or the choice of block or whatever-----then we have the responsibility not to DIScourage.
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Originally Posted by moreland
Originally Posted by kathy
if i just HAVE to say something that might be taken as critisizm i do it by pm, that way NOBODY else hears me so it should not be embarrassing, if they tell me to take hike, nobody knows! and the board is still at peace
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Originally Posted by jshorty
I've just started quilted a few months ago & I know my quilts are not perfect and maybe my color choices are not the best. When I ask someone what they think of my quilt I want to know their honest opinion. I need to know what I'm doing wrong or what other color choices whould of been better. How else am I going to learn the correct way or good color choices
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I try to think about my words: Are they true? Are they necessary? Are they kind?
I love the people on this board. They have been so encouraging to me even when my work was not good. I particularly remember going to a quilting group meeting and the criticism stung. I guess I'm saying thanks for not telling me what I already knew! |
Originally Posted by clhornak
I just joined today. I have not made a quilt yet. When I finally get one done; I will post. Please be kind but most definitely HONEST. I need all the help I can get. Love this board. I have been lurking and you are all so helpful!
We want to encourage you, luv! J |
I'm like you if I can't fine anything good to say I don't say anything.
Also I know I have a lot to learn since I've only been making quilts for 6 months now, so I want everyone to let me know what they ready think so I can learn...
Originally Posted by hobo2000
If I can't find something to compliment, I don't say anything.
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I have made more quilts than most on here and I am still trying to make my first perfect quilt. I still hope to, doubt that is ever going to happen.
I would never ask for a honest opinion as there are some mean spirited people only waiting for a chance to share them. I like my choices for patterns and colors for my quilts and would not appreciate opinions. Hurting someone's feelings would not make me very happy. I figure they did the best they could do at that time. |
When I become perfect (yea right!) I will judge other's work. Until then, if they like it, and it is not my personal preference, then I like it for them! We are our own worse critics and we judge ourselves harshly. If someone wants help or wants opinions they usually will ask for them. Usually if they do not they are proud of their work and wish to share their accomplishments with us! I am honored by that, and will always find something nice to say, or a bit of encouragement.
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If you really want an honest opinion ask my DH! We've taken to saying "I really want your opinion," or "Honey just be excited for me when I tell you this."
I agree that false praise can hurt someone by allowing them to think they've mastered something that still needs work, BUT I also believe that most quilters are their own worst critics and that most of us are way more critical of our work then any one else can be! |
Originally Posted by Krystyna
As a relatively new quilter, I was hesitant to post a photo of the last quilt I made simply because I felt inadequate compared to those who are so incredibly talented here. My quilt wasn't perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but it was something I made with love for someone I love. Even though I'm thick-skinned to a degree, if I had been slammed, it would have hurt and I would have thought twice about participating again. Not every quilt is going to be worthy of a professional class quilt show, but the fact that the individual made a quilt and took the time to share it here is worthy of a nice compliment or encouraging word. Kindness grows more kindness and I've seen so much of that on this wonderful board.
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Originally Posted by erstan947
I believe that those who post on the QB have given their best. I'm proud for them that they are doing what they love. If they ask how it could be better then offer suggestions otherwise I give them encouragement. It took me a while to realize that I don't have to comment at all. It is better praise or say nothing than point out errors. Just my opinion:) Happy Quilting:thumbup:
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I thought about this one for a while...as a relative newbie quilter(or rather piecer) I think this is really kind of mean. This is exactly why I won't post any pictures. I think I come here for inspiration, and God knows I have found it. I want to thank you for all the positive things you have said about everyones projects, but I think we know what the flaws are. We come here for someone to tell us we will get better. I remember the best teachers I ever had were the ones who were supportive not just critical. I am sorry but I think we should support one another because there are enough people in the world to tear you apart. Just my opinion and it probably doesn't count for much but I feel better speaking my piece!
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Originally Posted by JanieW
I read the quilt police thread and some of the comments made me think about the issue of giving false praise.
When someone has made a quilt that is poorly put together or there isn't enough contrast with colour choices, or it just plain doesn't look right, are we being fair by complimenting them? I don't believe in embarrassing a person by pointing out mistakes or telling them that they have to do it the "right" way. I don't believe in telling someone their work is lovely when it isn't. Being positive and encouraging is essential, but damning with faint praise is harmful. Where is the line between trying to help someone improve their skills and being the dreaded hated quilt police? I will tell her or him in a private message what they might have done wrong. When I grew african violet for judged shows. We always looked for beauty and not flaws. If the person that grew the violet isn't told what was wrong how do you expect them to enter a winning plant the next time. Quilting or peiceing is the same. |
Really enjoyed reading this thread---some very thought provoking statements made. This OB is the best!
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Have read thru this, and this is a group who recognize there are opinions... sometimes I will ask for them, and have gotten good feedback, may not always follow it, but it does open up other ways to look at things. With Quilting as w/life so many choices and ways to look at things, not here to say whats right or wrong. Never know what a situation is 100%, why knock someone down then have put time and effort into a Pretty !! But then to me all are Pretty, may not be a way I would have done it, but why would I tell them it is wrong. Too many levels here, some self taught, others w/classes.
Are blessed to have the love of a craft that has no real boundries, and enjoy hangin out with others with the same views, all million of them !! :) Have been fortunate to know a couple of Quilters that worked in different ways, one arthritis so bad she could hardly walk, the seams hardly ever matched, the other liked to make tops, scrappy all the way, would send them out to be finished. Can tell you both were Beautiful, Warm, and Cherished to this day. Don't take no comment as bad, keep sharing, be boring around here if just words... LOL Happy Quilting All !! |
I think the difference is when someone is asking for helpful crititism, and when somone just want to get praise for completing something that looks wonderful to them.
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Maybe because I have been an artist since I was 2 yrs. old, and was thusly educated, I have been around criticism for over 50 years. I have learned no one is perfect, and unless someone ask for help and direction, it's better to not point out what you feel is something negative. There is a saying I use when people complain about what they think I should do with my projects. It's 'they are teaching traditions of man as gods law. The same can be said about those who consider themselves quilt police. Fabric artist (quilting) will always have a freedom of choice. What someone might consider a mistake, will make a quilt a one of a kind item.
I folded a row in my daughter's quilt because it was to long, and with velcro added she has a hidden pocket, in which to hide things from her growing children. It's an original one of a kind quilt of which I am very proud. Quilting a part of art is subjective. Always encourage some one to try their best, never compare them to anyone. |
I believe everyone does something well. If I look, I can find something to enjoy in anyone's art. I look for that thing and comment on it. I will not give false praise, but I will give sincere encouragement. I hope everyone would do the same for me.
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Each of us is at a different place in our quilting journey. I think anyone needs encouragement. They can probably see the wrong things about their own quit sooner than we can. But if they are ASKING for constructive advice, I will certainly give that too. Otherwise, I figure if I encourage them, they will keep trying, and "practice makes perfect!" If someone had not encouraged me when I made my first few quilts, I might not be still quilting today. I hated my first quilt when I got it finished, and I don't even know what happened to it. But that was 40 years ago and I'm still quilting!
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Originally Posted by DogHouseMom
I agree to a point, when I post something and ask for comments, I truely want honest opinions which includes constructive criticizm. Some advice I'll take, some I'll ignore - according to my desires and beliefs - but all constructive criticizm is appreciated even if not used.
A member (an experiencd quilter) posted several blocks the other day, the blocks had yet been joined together. She was looking for comments on the best layout. While she didn't specifically ask for constructive criticizm of the individual blocks *I* had noticed that some of the pieces in one block were flipped. Had it been my block I would have appreciated it being pointed out because that juncture it was easy to fix - so I did point it out to her, as did one or two other members. These things (brain fart mistakes) I think are appreciated when pointed out even if unsolicited. I would not however point out the same error on a quilt that was already quilted - why raise the dead? I'm a new quilter and I realize I have tons to learn. I've been putting together heart blocks for a large throw for myself. I'm very hesitant to post pics because even though I'm pleased with how they are turning out I know that they are not very good. I am learning as I go and I've learned so much from this board. I know that future projects will get easier as my skills progress. Constructive criticsm is still criticsm. When I see a pic of a first quilt or block by a new quilter, and their post starts with something like 'yippee - look what I did!' ... the block could be totally wonky but I wouldn't dare say a word. At that point of "oh my God I actually sewed a bunch of pieces together" - let them have that glory. I would prefer to see them retain that excitement and passion over the possibility of dashing it by saying it isn't right (which may make them think quilting is just too hard!). If they decide they love quilting they'll be seeing more quilts, the more they see the more they'll see the differences, and hopefully the more they will learn. |
Originally Posted by Homemother
When I look at a project I don't particularly care for, I read the first couple pages of comments. Most of the time, these kind remarks are about something I didn't notice. I am learning from their praise how to look and examine a quilt. If I was told the truth about my first sewing project, I probably would have quit. I am so glad that someone out there found something positive to say! So, here's to all those wonderful ladies and gents who take the time to say something special and at the same time teach me kindness and observation!
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Originally Posted by Claddaughquilting
I like the comments I am reading on this thread. When people take the time to post pictures, it is because they are excited! I, personally, can only encourage that. Quilting is not just about the end result, it is a process, a hobby, a passion, a kindness to be shared. Quilters are by nature generous, kind, loving, thoughtful, encouraging people. A kind word never hurt anyone....
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Originally Posted by hobo2000
If I can't find something to compliment, I don't say anything.
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My best friend recently showed me a quilt that I had made for her when she had her first baby 38 years ago. OMG!!!! I can't belive I even sent it to her. That's a reminder to me about people making their first quilts, how much work goes into even the most poorly put together quilts. If I had given up then I wouldn't be able to do what I do now. Who are we to critize? Any effort should be praised!
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Color choices don't bother me because everyone has different taste, but I have to admit I have typed, then deleted, many comments about quality!
My daughter's mother-in-law "tried" quilting. She took one class, made one very poorly put together quilt and then announced that would be the only made she made because there wasn't any challenge in it...I unfriended her!! I want constructive criticism as I want all of my projects to be the best they can...maybe we can come up with a "code" that says "Yes, I want the truth!" or "No, just make me feel good!" |
Originally Posted by Ragann63
My daughter's mother-in-law "tried" quilting. She took one class, made one very poorly put together quilt and then announced that would be the only quilt she made because there wasn't any challenge in it...
I love that we all are enthusiastic about our quilting and want to share our passion, and to help anyone who wants to learn. I have been quilting over 40 years and I still learn things from all your posts. It is certainly true, as Claddaughquilting said, that "quilting is not just about the end result, but is a process. . ." It is the process that keeps us passionate about it. |
Originally Posted by JanieW
I read the quilt police thread and some of the comments made me think about the issue of giving false praise.
When someone has made a quilt that is poorly put together or there isn't enough contrast with colour choices, or it just plain doesn't look right, are we being fair by complimenting them? I don't believe in embarrassing a person by pointing out mistakes or telling them that they have to do it the "right" way. I don't believe in telling someone their work is lovely when it isn't. Being positive and encouraging is essential, but damning with faint praise is harmful. Where is the line between trying to help someone improve their skills and being the dreaded hated quilt police? find one good thing to compliment or just refrain from making any comment. |
Originally Posted by Ragann63
I want constructive criticism as I want all of my projects to be the best they can...maybe we can come up with a "code" that says "Yes, I want the truth!" or "No, just make me feel good!"
Really, if you are open for constructive criticism, just say so when you post the project. Otherwise, it's wise to assume that the person isn't posting their work with that intent in mind, but rather for the moral support to help them celebrate finishing. It always helps if people who are looking for more help say so. I appreciate the posts that say something like "I'm not sure about my color choices" or "I know my piecing isn't as accurate as it could be", and to me, that person is saying outright that they are willing to hear, and to learn from, the feedback that they will get. Also, if you are new at something and really just want praise, a tag line such as "first project of this type" or "new quilter" usually helps. Course, there are those obvious people who are fishing- such as those who post that this is their first log cabin and it's clearly a work of art and not their first rodeo, and clearly those people are fishing for pats on the back, which I'm not saying that they don't deserve. I'm the type that has to be prodded to show off my work, and I guess that's a fault I have rather than of being too show-offy. |
some people feel that they need to comment on everything. sometimes it is ok to keep quite
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Originally Posted by hobo2000
If I can't find something to compliment, I don't say anything.
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I agree that sometimes keeping quiet when viewing another's work is not a bad idea.
I think what was really the gist of the original post, was that someone made rude remarks just to be "smart". Their comments were not made to help, they were pure criticism...just to put the work down...not to instruct on how to make it better. |
There's a place for all artists in our society and if quilters don't value your work reach out to the other art communities such as fiber artists which tend to break all the rules too.[/quote]
--------------------------------------- Yes, you're right and thanks for reminding me. One family story comes to mind. One of DH's artist cousins was informed that her oil painting (modern art) had won a blue ribbon and she invited close family and friends to go with her to see it. When they saw it, family gave praise, friends loved it, she screamed!!! The Judges had actually hung it upside down!!! She ranted and raved about the irony of it all, while others were trying to give her complements. Yup, her wrong way art won the blue ribbon!!! I saw a picture of it once, seemed to me you could hang it either of four ways and it would still look like...whatever you wanted it to be. The judges might not have liked it much right side up. Art is a self judged thing, and artists in any form can only hope the judges themselves will see it as such. |
Originally Posted by bamamama
My best friend recently showed me a quilt that I had made for her when she had her first baby 38 years ago. OMG!!!! I can't belive I even sent it to her. That's a reminder to me about people making their first quilts, how much work goes into even the most poorly put together quilts. If I had given up then I wouldn't be able to do what I do now. Who are we to critize? Any effort should be praised!
Nonsense. It must have been better than you think, and of course it was good enough for her to keep for that 38 years. How many other baby quilts are still with the original owners? Congratulations on making a baby quilt that both the mother loved enough to use and then keep for grand kids!! |
I try to go by what the person is saying. And the experience level. Are they asking for advice on improving or excited they finished it? If they are happy with what they've accomplished then I find something nice to say about it.
If they aren't happy with it, I'll talk with the about what they think the problem is and how I've probably done the same thing and this is what I've done to prevent this problem. Most of the time I'll try to find something nice about it. Or just say "wow, what an interesting quilt, what a unique way of putting fabrics together." |
If you have to tell them a lie its not playing fair. I told a lady I can see all the new things you are learning. We all continue to learn. I trust people to be fair and when I need help its nice to get a straight answer.
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Originally Posted by JanieW
I read the quilt police thread and some of the comments made me think about the issue of giving false praise.
When someone has made a quilt that is poorly put together or there isn't enough contrast with colour choices, or it just plain doesn't look right, are we being fair by complimenting them? I don't believe in embarrassing a person by pointing out mistakes or telling them that they have to do it the "right" way. I don't believe in telling someone their work is lovely when it isn't. Being positive and encouraging is essential, but damning with faint praise is harmful. Where is the line between trying to help someone improve their skills and being the dreaded hated quilt police? Personally, I think if I have to ask, I already know something is wrong or I'm looking for a compliment. For newbies, tho, encouragement and praise is essential. |
It all depends on what the person posting is asking for or if they are even asking for an opinion. It all boils down to the old addage: If you don't have anything nice to say, keep your mouth shut!
Now, if someone is asking for an opinion or critique I will try to give an honest opinion without hurting anyone's feelings. If you are asking for an opinion and someone says something that hurts your feelings, maybe you should think twice about asking for an opinion. Honesty is the best policy, you just don't need to be hurtful about it. All this is just my opinion. Hope I haven't hurt any feelings. |
If someone asks for an honest opinion, I will give it. If the quilt is just posted without asking for opinions, I will only say I like it if I do. I won't give an unsolicited opinion.
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Originally Posted by quiltingnonie
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
Your tastes are not mine, nor mine yours. It isn't my place to decide if someone is giving false praise, either. Life is much more simple and straightforward if one makes sure that one is honest in one's own opinion and not worry about others' motives. Time proves the integrity of compliments and the persons who give them. <wave> |
I figure they wouldn't be making it unless they liked it. so it's lovely, no matter what. :-D
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