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-   -   Giving Quilts - No Reaction from Recipients (https://www.quiltingboard.com/main-f1/giving-quilts-no-reaction-recipients-t173351.html)

feline fanatic 12-29-2011 10:43 AM

As so many others have posted, those that do not quilt themselves can not begin to envision the difference between a completed quilt and incomplete top. To demonstrate that go to this posting picturing the unfinished top before and after quilting. http://www.quiltingboard.com/picture...2-t145622.html

Finish the top and complete the gifting and do it promptly. Don't let another 6 months to a year pass by. If the response is still lackluster, know that you gave for all the right reasons and don't gift them another quilt unless it is a completed quilt from a kit your DMIL gave to you requesting you to complete it.

Traceylyn 12-29-2011 11:43 AM

you know, people think a quilt should "match" in color or design like a new bedspread or something. I think I would bring it up in the very new future and ask if they would like something else because you have so much in it it is hard to give it away. If there is disappointment or joy you will know then what to do.

Honeynga 12-29-2011 11:52 AM

I have 3 daughters; one who is a quilter so I never give her anything quilted; one that is totally brand name conscious and if it wasn't bought in a store with a name she isn't interested (how sad); the youngest is SO appreciative of anything I do...whether I make her a casserole of if I make her a bed size quilt ! Guess who gets the most hand made gifts ??? I knitted her a scarf recently and she was thrilled with it; wears it often and will tell folks "her Mama" made this !!!!! I'm so new at quilting I haven't had much experience in giving my quilts as gifts but will certainly be wary of who I give them to !

Several years back I was on a knitting kick; knitted 12 sweaters for Christmas gifts......(don't be to impressed, it is a very simple pattern and it is the ONLY one I know how to make); made a sweater for a guy I was dating at the time and he brought sweater back and asked for alterations; said the sleeves were longer than he liked...NO PROBLEM ! I took sweater, unraveled the whole thing and made it into a sweater for my cousin !!!!! He never asked about "his" sweater !

My middle daughter did actually ask for me to make her something for her November birthday this year (shocker !); I made her a Dresden Plate table runner and it is displayed in her foyer !
(Makes ME laugh that I can make a Dresden Plate at all, but have issues with simpler patterns, go figure ) !

quilting_granny 12-29-2011 12:45 PM

this happens. When I crocheted a lot I made my mother-in-law a one and only afaghan. I swore I would never make another because it was a very hard, but beautiful pattern. When I gave it to her she said the same thing "nice" then she put it back in the box and in the closet. So one day I said to her since you do not like the afaghan I made you do you mind if I take it back and get you something else that you would rather have. She said "that would be fine, because it was to heavy for her to handle." So if they are older maybe you could put it to them the same way, without hurting their feelings. Needless to say I have never made her anything else.

cindypierce 12-29-2011 12:45 PM

i found out this past Christmas that a quilt I had made for a name drawing(Nearly 15 years ago!!) (and talk about a negative reaction!!) wound up with her grandchild now 12 who will not let it out of her sight!! I was so hurt at the time but it has turned out very well. sometimes you just have to leave it with God and trust that down the line some Good will come of it. I keep and example and show it and ask before making one now though!! Live and learn.
SOMEONE WILL LOVE IT! Someday.

Highmtn 12-29-2011 01:06 PM

OUCH!!!!

To me a quilt is SUCH a labor of love that I think I'd follow SueSew's original comment of " Maybe you can apologize for your lateness, give them something 'bought" and let it allll just GO AWAY. I wouldn't make ONE MORE comment about them ever seeing that quilt again.

A fews years back I had purchased fabric (very woodsy / outdoors) for a close friend of my hubbys. He's a single guy who's been down on his luck a lot. So.. I was going to make him a quilt since his house is old and very chilly. He was at our home one night and he saw some fabrics. He asked about the fabrics...and I said... "I'm a quilter and make quilts for close friends". He got the worst look on his face and stated "Well... do NOT MAKE ME ONE.. those are sooo old ladyish". Er.... a... that stopped me IN MY TRACKS. HE BLEW IT...but I am soo happy he spoke up before I experienced what you experienced. I made the quilt for a neighbor who was a great help to me when my house burned down years prior. They acted like I gave them a NEW CAR. It was the PERFECT reaction.

Follow your gut instinct. Which solution makes YOU feel the best? Taking the quilt back and giving them something else (store bought).. or Completing it and giving it to them no matter what they do or don't think of it. Did you ever WONDER about some of those gorgeous quilts we quilters occasionally find abandoned at Goodwill and/or Salvation Army stores for $20.00? Can you live with that potential outcome for your "blood, sweat and tears" quilt project?

Think it through... that's all I'm suggesting. Follow your heart... that's the best.
.

#1piecemaker 12-29-2011 01:14 PM

I would finish it as soon as possible and give it to them. If you get the same reaction then you'll know not to make them another one. But, more than likely they will be tickled when they see the finished product.

rslindiana 12-29-2011 01:31 PM

When things like this happen, I assume its about them. Not me.

I wasn't in the Christmas mood this year and I'm afraid I didn't show the enthusiasm I might have at some of the events I attended. Which was totally about me - not the gift giver or the gift.

quiltingshorttimer 12-29-2011 02:10 PM

While it is certainly disappointing to have someone be luke warm about a gift we give, especially one that we are working so hard on, but keep in mind the reason you are giving them the gift--it's a gift. Don't know the quote exactly, but it's something about gifts being given without any expectation of getting in return. So give them the quilt when it's done (which maybe won't be a rush since they are not pushing) and be done with it. You will know you did your best to please--and then in the future you can gift someone else with your talents and just buy them something that doesn't represent such a committment on your part.

margecam52 12-29-2011 02:15 PM

I give mine as gifts and don't think of the reactions...have a few grands that I thought would really appreciate a quilt...last I saw them..the quilts were in a corner, on the floor. I owe these three girls a larger quilt...not happening any time soon. My other grands have their 2nd quilts...and love them to death. You just never know.


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