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-   -   I think my quilts are cursed (https://www.quiltingboard.com/main-f1/i-think-my-quilts-cursed-t92402.html)

Stitchnripper 01-21-2011 04:47 AM

Yes, I think you should make a few just for you, and get the pleasure out of it knowing you will love it. And agree with what you said, stop picking the wrong people to make quilts for! Good luck!

Hen3rietta 01-21-2011 04:59 AM

You sound like a loving, giving, open person V and believe/expect/hope that those you care for are the same. I had to learn the lessons the hard way too. Now I quilt or sew or whatever because I like and need to do it for myself. If I give something I've made away, I give it with no emotional strings or expectations attached. Auction for a cause, charity quilts or just because it brings a glow of joy to some person's face is a better reason for me.

Stand back, take a deep breath and remind yourself that they are the losers, you are not and take the jerk who didn't pay you to small claims court.

Diana

JulieR 01-21-2011 05:41 AM


Originally Posted by thequilteddove
*gives you a hug* I have had many people in my life that I loved. Girls I had been friends with for 10yrs, men who proclaimed to love me until we died. Granted I wasn't quilting back then; but when the relationships ended I was devestated each and every time. Every last one of them I took personal - I felt betrayed, abandoned, used... I am WAY older now and my way of thinking has changed a lot. I was fortunate to learn at a relatively young age (arount 25-30) that it wasn't me, it's life. As we age we are constantly evolving. We grow, mature, whatever... the people we love may do it faster than we do or we may do it faster than they do. They/we are not always 'equipped' with how to deal with 'stuff' without hurting each other...

The love you put in to anything, be it a relationship or a quilt is NEVER for nothing. We just need to learn who deserves our love and when to cut our losses when we discover they are not worthy.

Keep making your quilts. Make them for soldiers, battered women, yourself, what ever. Continue to make them for people you love no matter how the relationships go. Your quilts are NOT cursed and neither are you. Know that in your heart and you will see how life gradually changes :)

I love this post.

Dandish 01-21-2011 06:00 AM


Originally Posted by thequilteddove
*gives you a hug* I have had many people in my life that I loved. Girls I had been friends with for 10yrs, men who proclaimed to love me until we died. Granted I wasn't quilting back then; but when the relationships ended I was devestated each and every time. Every last one of them I took personal - I felt betrayed, abandoned, used... I am WAY older now and my way of thinking has changed a lot. I was fortunate to learn at a relatively young age (arount 25-30) that it wasn't me, it's life. As we age we are constantly evolving. We grow, mature, whatever... the people we love may do it faster than we do or we may do it faster than they do. They/we are not always 'equipped' with how to deal with 'stuff' without hurting each other...

The love you put in to anything, be it a relationship or a quilt is NEVER for nothing. We just need to learn who deserves our love and when to cut our losses when we discover they are not worthy.

Keep making your quilts. Make them for soldiers, battered women, yourself, what ever. Continue to make them for people you love no matter how the relationships go. Your quilts are NOT cursed and neither are you. Know that in your heart and you will see how life gradually changes :)

Very good post.

Quilt Mom 01-21-2011 06:17 AM

I agree with thequilteddove.

EskapetheNorm 01-21-2011 07:05 AM

I agree with thequilteddove as well. But, also why do you make quilts? Think long and hard about this. These folks didn't ask you to make a quilt.
For me, quilting is a creative outlet that I really like because it is also functional. If I am able to put these things that I have created to use for a loved one ... that is icing on the cake. I have to create or something inside me kind of dies.
Once you have answered why you quilt, you may understand better why the quilts line up with bad relationships. It may be that you were trying to create something tangible to "rescue" the relationship long before you consciously recognized the unraveling.
Believe in yourself and that nothing done out of love is ever wasted.

quiltlonger 01-21-2011 07:05 AM

Your bed can never be covered with too many of Your quilts make them all for you .Then when the time is right You will be able to give away and the weight will be lifted! When life gives you scraps--make quilts!!

mannem 01-21-2011 07:16 AM

I do anything creative I do for MYSELF. If YOU like it, great. If you don't, who cares. You cannot please everyone (Ricky Nelson song from way back), so you have to please yourself. I have made quilts and other things for family and friends, but I knew the recipient would love them. I am VERY, very choosy.

crashnquilt 01-21-2011 07:50 AM

Gee, and I thought I was the only one that had that happen! Made a quilt for my SIL, DD and SIL got a divorce. BUT, my SIL still keeps in contact with me and hubby and always reminds me that he still loves his quilt. Made one for my sister in law, she no longer speaks to me. Made one for a friend of my daughter, she moved away and no longer keeps in touch. So on and so forth. But, because of this I did some really DEEP soul searching.

Besides the ex son in law, I found I was mostly making and giving those quilts to people I was trying to impress or trying to "win" their acceptance of me. So, I just turned it all around and started making and giving quilts to those that love me BECAUSE I am me.

My mother in law jumps at any occasion to brag about her quilt. My father in law (unfortunately very sick now) keeps his quilt with him EVERYWHERE he goes. He has also requested to have it on him in the casket when he passes. He not only shows off his quilt but he says, "Not many men have a daughter in law that loves him that much. I sure am blessed."

My nephew and his wife proudly display and use the quilts made for them. Every conversation is ended with, "If you have any quilts you need to give away DON'T FORGET MY ADDRESS!"

So, moral of the story here is, make quilts for the people that love you BECAUSE you are you! I recently lost a friend of 40+ years, life long childhood friend, that always said, "I love you FOR all your faults and imperfections." Something to ponder.

Candace 01-21-2011 08:26 AM

Don't let someone walk over you (XBOX). Judge Judy. SERIOUSLY. You'll feel so much stronger if you confront the person. And yes, maybe do a few for charity to shake the curse.


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