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Thread: I think my quilts are cursed

  1. #1
    Super Member Flying_V_Goddess's Avatar
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    I'm starting to believe the quilts I have made are cursed. Seems like every quilt I give the relationship with that person goes down the tubes.

    First quilt: Given to God son. Not really the relationship with the God son that went down the tubes, but rather the parents. Had a good friendship with his parents until they moved three hours away from here last spring. Last time I saw them I went to their place in October to attend the husband's birthday party at his mom's bar, everyone got too drunk, he asked me what my problem was (which was everyone was drunk and it made me uncomfortable 'cause I don't drink until I'm plowed) and long story short he chased me out of the bar and I spent the night on a bench in the rain and most of the morning in a Shell gas station wondering how in the world I was going to get home. I did get home okay and things got worked out...or so I thought. Despite saying that things were cool, they really weren't. Guess I lost quite a bit of trust that night and thus have not returned any of their phone calls since then.

    Second quilt: Denim quilt. Made it for a friend. Years later had a falling out with him. Haven't talked to him since last May (not that I miss him...he did act like I wasn't good enough, though it took me a while to accept it).

    Third quilt: Actually this one techinically does not exist. Didn't even get started with the quilt made from Kittie shirts when the boyfriend it was going to broke up with me rather than working things out. A month later he tells me he wanted to break up with me long before any of the things that lead to the break up happened, but he didn't because he "felt sorry for me".

    Fourth quilt: Have been pouring my heart out into this quilt made out of Slipknot shirts. The friend (who I also liked...liked being the keyword here) was borrowing my Xbox and had plans to buy it. But two months later I still haven't seen my XBox or money to buy it. He's been avoiding my calls about it. I've asked for it back several times. My brother went there because he was borrowing a couple of his games and the lights were on, but when he rang the doorbell suddenly the lights went off and he heard the door being locked. He's just being a real.........."jerk" is about the worst thing I can call him without violating the board's rules, but I'm sure you can use your imagination to think up of some other names I'd like to call him. My guess is he either sold my Xbox or thinks I'll just give up and then he gets a free Xbox. Of course, the quilt I work the hardest one has the biggest downfall with the relationship with the intended recipiant. Luckily, I'm still not finished with the quilt and don't have to give it to him. Shame though because I spent almost $20 to get a nice personalized embroidered label done and put a lot of thought into what I wanted for the label (there's even a reason for wanting to get an embroidered one).

    Maybe I should stop making quilts for other people. Or maybe stop picking the wrong people to make quilts for.

  2. #2
    Super Member cctx.'s Avatar
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    How do you get your font color for posting.....?

  3. #3
    Super Member Quiltforme's Avatar
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    It's not you I have been following your post for some time now it is not you. for someone to go and make these beautiful quilts out of the kindness of your heart they don't deserve your quilts. You will find the right people honestly you will. It just seems you are weeding out the bad ones just happens to be the ones who received your quilts. Maybe give your quilts to a charity and then you will see how your much your quilts will truely be properly loved. That kindness will be seen and you will see the good people out there. I had the same problem so to say. I choose the wrong people. It took a while to figure this out sometimes our hearts are so big we just don't see what is happening.

  4. #4
    QM
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    Power Poster QM's Avatar
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    We all have had regretable people in our lives at one point or another. Maybe the next quilt you make for someone else will be for a charity, where you can be sure your excellent work will be appreciated.

  5. #5
    melslove's Avatar
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    I agree with QM, your work will be appreciated at a charity and it will make you feel good too :)

  6. #6
    Power Poster Lacelady's Avatar
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    Turn it round ..... make quilts for people you don't want in your life any more!

  7. #7
    Super Member Sassylass's Avatar
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    I agree with giving your quilts to charity...I know cancer patients love a nice cuddly warm quilt when they are taking chemo and radiation. All ages love these quilts. I quilt with a group and we made 49 and I thought that was great....until I was told 50 go out in ONE week..So plese put all that love, kindness and caring into quilts that others need and will love.Check into Prohect Linus in your area or cancer quilts..or for those that have lost every thing in a fire.
    Sass

  8. #8
    Super Member thequilteddove's Avatar
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    *gives you a hug* I have had many people in my life that I loved. Girls I had been friends with for 10yrs, men who proclaimed to love me until we died. Granted I wasn't quilting back then; but when the relationships ended I was devestated each and every time. Every last one of them I took personal - I felt betrayed, abandoned, used... I am WAY older now and my way of thinking has changed a lot. I was fortunate to learn at a relatively young age (arount 25-30) that it wasn't me, it's life. As we age we are constantly evolving. We grow, mature, whatever... the people we love may do it faster than we do or we may do it faster than they do. They/we are not always 'equipped' with how to deal with 'stuff' without hurting each other...

    The love you put in to anything, be it a relationship or a quilt is NEVER for nothing. We just need to learn who deserves our love and when to cut our losses when we discover they are not worthy.

    Keep making your quilts. Make them for soldiers, battered women, yourself, what ever. Continue to make them for people you love no matter how the relationships go. Your quilts are NOT cursed and neither are you. Know that in your heart and you will see how life gradually changes :)

  9. #9
    Super Member damaquilts's Avatar
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    Or maybe stop picking the wrong people to make quilts for.

    There ya go. You answered it yourself.

    I use to waste my time on making/doing things for people not anymore. :-) Now I am much pickyer about who gets things.

  10. #10
    MiniCC's Avatar
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    Heal yourself and make yourself one :) or two - turn it around and show yourself the same love and admiration....you are worth it, right? You are not going to walk out on you.
    Or i like the idea of charity as well for the kids who are doing chemo and such. :)

  11. #11
    Super Member Stitchnripper's Avatar
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    Yes, I think you should make a few just for you, and get the pleasure out of it knowing you will love it. And agree with what you said, stop picking the wrong people to make quilts for! Good luck!

  12. #12
    Senior Member Hen3rietta's Avatar
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    You sound like a loving, giving, open person V and believe/expect/hope that those you care for are the same. I had to learn the lessons the hard way too. Now I quilt or sew or whatever because I like and need to do it for myself. If I give something I've made away, I give it with no emotional strings or expectations attached. Auction for a cause, charity quilts or just because it brings a glow of joy to some person's face is a better reason for me.

    Stand back, take a deep breath and remind yourself that they are the losers, you are not and take the jerk who didn't pay you to small claims court.

    Diana

  13. #13
    Super Member JulieR's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by thequilteddove
    *gives you a hug* I have had many people in my life that I loved. Girls I had been friends with for 10yrs, men who proclaimed to love me until we died. Granted I wasn't quilting back then; but when the relationships ended I was devestated each and every time. Every last one of them I took personal - I felt betrayed, abandoned, used... I am WAY older now and my way of thinking has changed a lot. I was fortunate to learn at a relatively young age (arount 25-30) that it wasn't me, it's life. As we age we are constantly evolving. We grow, mature, whatever... the people we love may do it faster than we do or we may do it faster than they do. They/we are not always 'equipped' with how to deal with 'stuff' without hurting each other...

    The love you put in to anything, be it a relationship or a quilt is NEVER for nothing. We just need to learn who deserves our love and when to cut our losses when we discover they are not worthy.

    Keep making your quilts. Make them for soldiers, battered women, yourself, what ever. Continue to make them for people you love no matter how the relationships go. Your quilts are NOT cursed and neither are you. Know that in your heart and you will see how life gradually changes :)
    I love this post.

  14. #14
    Senior Member Dandish's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by thequilteddove
    *gives you a hug* I have had many people in my life that I loved. Girls I had been friends with for 10yrs, men who proclaimed to love me until we died. Granted I wasn't quilting back then; but when the relationships ended I was devestated each and every time. Every last one of them I took personal - I felt betrayed, abandoned, used... I am WAY older now and my way of thinking has changed a lot. I was fortunate to learn at a relatively young age (arount 25-30) that it wasn't me, it's life. As we age we are constantly evolving. We grow, mature, whatever... the people we love may do it faster than we do or we may do it faster than they do. They/we are not always 'equipped' with how to deal with 'stuff' without hurting each other...

    The love you put in to anything, be it a relationship or a quilt is NEVER for nothing. We just need to learn who deserves our love and when to cut our losses when we discover they are not worthy.

    Keep making your quilts. Make them for soldiers, battered women, yourself, what ever. Continue to make them for people you love no matter how the relationships go. Your quilts are NOT cursed and neither are you. Know that in your heart and you will see how life gradually changes :)
    Very good post.

  15. #15
    Super Member Quilt Mom's Avatar
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    I agree with thequilteddove.

  16. #16
    Junior Member EskapetheNorm's Avatar
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    I agree with thequilteddove as well. But, also why do you make quilts? Think long and hard about this. These folks didn't ask you to make a quilt.
    For me, quilting is a creative outlet that I really like because it is also functional. If I am able to put these things that I have created to use for a loved one ... that is icing on the cake. I have to create or something inside me kind of dies.
    Once you have answered why you quilt, you may understand better why the quilts line up with bad relationships. It may be that you were trying to create something tangible to "rescue" the relationship long before you consciously recognized the unraveling.
    Believe in yourself and that nothing done out of love is ever wasted.

  17. #17
    Super Member quiltlonger's Avatar
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    Your bed can never be covered with too many of Your quilts make them all for you .Then when the time is right You will be able to give away and the weight will be lifted! When life gives you scraps--make quilts!!

  18. #18
    Junior Member mannem's Avatar
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    I do anything creative I do for MYSELF. If YOU like it, great. If you don't, who cares. You cannot please everyone (Ricky Nelson song from way back), so you have to please yourself. I have made quilts and other things for family and friends, but I knew the recipient would love them. I am VERY, very choosy.

  19. #19
    Senior Member crashnquilt's Avatar
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    Gee, and I thought I was the only one that had that happen! Made a quilt for my SIL, DD and SIL got a divorce. BUT, my SIL still keeps in contact with me and hubby and always reminds me that he still loves his quilt. Made one for my sister in law, she no longer speaks to me. Made one for a friend of my daughter, she moved away and no longer keeps in touch. So on and so forth. But, because of this I did some really DEEP soul searching.

    Besides the ex son in law, I found I was mostly making and giving those quilts to people I was trying to impress or trying to "win" their acceptance of me. So, I just turned it all around and started making and giving quilts to those that love me BECAUSE I am me.

    My mother in law jumps at any occasion to brag about her quilt. My father in law (unfortunately very sick now) keeps his quilt with him EVERYWHERE he goes. He has also requested to have it on him in the casket when he passes. He not only shows off his quilt but he says, "Not many men have a daughter in law that loves him that much. I sure am blessed."

    My nephew and his wife proudly display and use the quilts made for them. Every conversation is ended with, "If you have any quilts you need to give away DON'T FORGET MY ADDRESS!"

    So, moral of the story here is, make quilts for the people that love you BECAUSE you are you! I recently lost a friend of 40+ years, life long childhood friend, that always said, "I love you FOR all your faults and imperfections." Something to ponder.

  20. #20
    Super Member Candace's Avatar
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    Don't let someone walk over you (XBOX). Judge Judy. SERIOUSLY. You'll feel so much stronger if you confront the person. And yes, maybe do a few for charity to shake the curse.

  21. #21
    Senior Member quilter1943's Avatar
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    I have to agree with most of the posts -- it's your choice of "friends" who all seem to take advantage. Hospice centers are always happy to get quilts.

  22. #22
    Super Member sewwhat85's Avatar
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    better luck next time

  23. #23
    Junior Member NanaInVirginia's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lacelady
    Turn it round ..... make quilts for people you don't want in your life any more!
    LOL, literally and very loud. My dog is looking at me like I have lost my mind.

    On the other hand, Lacelady may be on to something. If you really can make quilts that make people "just go away" you could make a fortune selling them.

  24. #24
    Super Member hperttula123's Avatar
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    I think you need to make the next quilt for yourself!!! Do it for the fun of making a quilt and you will get to enjoy it. I make quilts for fun, just to make something makes me feel good. Then if you find someone who deserves your quilt, then you could give it to them.

  25. #25
    Super Member QBeth's Avatar
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    You deserve better friends!

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