How do you get your font color for posting.....?

It's not you I have been following your post for some time now it is not you. for someone to go and make these beautiful quilts out of the kindness of your heart they don't deserve your quilts. You will find the right people honestly you will. It just seems you are weeding out the bad ones just happens to be the ones who received your quilts. Maybe give your quilts to a charity and then you will see how your much your quilts will truely be properly loved. That kindness will be seen and you will see the good people out there. I had the same problem so to say. I choose the wrong people. It took a while to figure this out sometimes our hearts are so big we just don't see what is happening.

We all have had regretable people in our lives at one point or another. Maybe the next quilt you make for someone else will be for a charity, where you can be sure your excellent work will be appreciated.

I agree with QM, your work will be appreciated at a charity and it will make you feel good too :)

Turn it round ..... make quilts for people you don't want in your life any more!

I agree with giving your quilts to charity...I know cancer patients love a nice cuddly warm quilt when they are taking chemo and radiation. All ages love these quilts. I quilt with a group and we made 49 and I thought that was great....until I was told 50 go out in ONE week..So plese put all that love, kindness and caring into quilts that others need and will love.Check into Prohect Linus in your area or cancer quilts..or for those that have lost every thing in a fire.
Sass

*gives you a hug* I have had many people in my life that I loved. Girls I had been friends with for 10yrs, men who proclaimed to love me until we died. Granted I wasn't quilting back then; but when the relationships ended I was devestated each and every time. Every last one of them I took personal - I felt betrayed, abandoned, used... I am WAY older now and my way of thinking has changed a lot. I was fortunate to learn at a relatively young age (arount 25-30) that it wasn't me, it's life. As we age we are constantly evolving. We grow, mature, whatever... the people we love may do it faster than we do or we may do it faster than they do. They/we are not always 'equipped' with how to deal with 'stuff' without hurting each other...

The love you put in to anything, be it a relationship or a quilt is NEVER for nothing. We just need to learn who deserves our love and when to cut our losses when we discover they are not worthy.

Keep making your quilts. Make them for soldiers, battered women, yourself, what ever. Continue to make them for people you love no matter how the relationships go. Your quilts are NOT cursed and neither are you. Know that in your heart and you will see how life gradually changes :)

Or maybe stop picking the wrong people to make quilts for.

There ya go. You answered it yourself.

I use to waste my time on making/doing things for people not anymore. :-) Now I am much pickyer about who gets things.

Heal yourself and make yourself one :) or two - turn it around and show yourself the same love and admiration....you are worth it, right? You are not going to walk out on you.
Or i like the idea of charity as well for the kids who are doing chemo and such. :)

Yes, I think you should make a few just for you, and get the pleasure out of it knowing you will love it. And agree with what you said, stop picking the wrong people to make quilts for! Good luck!

You sound like a loving, giving, open person V and believe/expect/hope that those you care for are the same. I had to learn the lessons the hard way too. Now I quilt or sew or whatever because I like and need to do it for myself. If I give something I've made away, I give it with no emotional strings or expectations attached. Auction for a cause, charity quilts or just because it brings a glow of joy to some person's face is a better reason for me.

Stand back, take a deep breath and remind yourself that they are the losers, you are not and take the jerk who didn't pay you to small claims court.

Diana

I love this post.

Very good post.

I agree with thequilteddove.

I agree with thequilteddove as well. But, also why do you make quilts? Think long and hard about this. These folks didn't ask you to make a quilt.
For me, quilting is a creative outlet that I really like because it is also functional. If I am able to put these things that I have created to use for a loved one ... that is icing on the cake. I have to create or something inside me kind of dies.
Once you have answered why you quilt, you may understand better why the quilts line up with bad relationships. It may be that you were trying to create something tangible to "rescue" the relationship long before you consciously recognized the unraveling.
Believe in yourself and that nothing done out of love is ever wasted.

Your bed can never be covered with too many of Your quilts make them all for you .Then when the time is right You will be able to give away and the weight will be lifted! When life gives you scraps--make quilts!!

I do anything creative I do for MYSELF. If YOU like it, great. If you don't, who cares. You cannot please everyone (Ricky Nelson song from way back), so you have to please yourself. I have made quilts and other things for family and friends, but I knew the recipient would love them. I am VERY, very choosy.

Gee, and I thought I was the only one that had that happen! Made a quilt for my SIL, DD and SIL got a divorce. BUT, my SIL still keeps in contact with me and hubby and always reminds me that he still loves his quilt. Made one for my sister in law, she no longer speaks to me. Made one for a friend of my daughter, she moved away and no longer keeps in touch. So on and so forth. But, because of this I did some really DEEP soul searching.

Besides the ex son in law, I found I was mostly making and giving those quilts to people I was trying to impress or trying to "win" their acceptance of me. So, I just turned it all around and started making and giving quilts to those that love me BECAUSE I am me.

My mother in law jumps at any occasion to brag about her quilt. My father in law (unfortunately very sick now) keeps his quilt with him EVERYWHERE he goes. He has also requested to have it on him in the casket when he passes. He not only shows off his quilt but he says, "Not many men have a daughter in law that loves him that much. I sure am blessed."

My nephew and his wife proudly display and use the quilts made for them. Every conversation is ended with, "If you have any quilts you need to give away DON'T FORGET MY ADDRESS!"

So, moral of the story here is, make quilts for the people that love you BECAUSE you are you! I recently lost a friend of 40+ years, life long childhood friend, that always said, "I love you FOR all your faults and imperfections." Something to ponder.

Don't let someone walk over you (XBOX). Judge Judy. SERIOUSLY. You'll feel so much stronger if you confront the person. And yes, maybe do a few for charity to shake the curse.

I have to agree with most of the posts -- it's your choice of "friends" who all seem to take advantage. Hospice centers are always happy to get quilts.

better luck next time

LOL, literally and very loud. My dog is looking at me like I have lost my mind.

On the other hand, Lacelady may be on to something. If you really can make quilts that make people "just go away" you could make a fortune selling them.

I think you need to make the next quilt for yourself!!! Do it for the fun of making a quilt and you will get to enjoy it. I make quilts for fun, just to make something makes me feel good. Then if you find someone who deserves your quilt, then you could give it to them.

You deserve better friends!

This may sound harsh, but it's what works for me.
I take care of myself - first. If I'm going out with friends, I take cab money. If I'm giving a gift to someone, I give it because I want to, not expecting anything in return.
I don't let anyone walk over me - go demand your X-box back, it's yours.
And when you're not looking, the right guy will show up, right under your nose. Seriously.

Yours is quilts, mine is throwing a party for someone, everytime I have planned a party it has been a disaster to the point I won't do it anymore.

I would stop spending all that time, love and money making beautiful quilts for unappreciative jerks, and make something beautiful for yourself ! You are after all the most worthy one in the mix !

People disappoint, and it is even harder when you have given them a "piece" of you in the art you make. I normally give my quilts to relatives who appreciate them, or charity. The one I was making for a non-relative, my son's ex-girlfriend, never got given, since she dropped him before it was finished. (he never saw it coming) So now it is a living room quilt for when it is cold. But I agree with thequilteddove, people come and go in our lives, and if that point in your life you thought it was wonderful to give them a quilt, then it was. We can't see the future, we can just live in the moment, so keep on quilting, you do beautiful work.

Save your loving work for a relationship that will be a lasting one. For now, I would find a charity that needs quilts and pour your heart into them. You will feel so full with the thought that a stranger APPRECIATES your work. You are young, and life will go on, and you WILL find someone that will love you back. I had a person that used to live in my neighborhood that I got very close to (so I thought). I baby-sat her kids, made them quilts, pj's, made her wedding gown etc. Then one day when I asked for something, everything became about her. End of story, I dropped her like a hot potato. I won't go into details, just chalked that up to a lesson learned. I am very careful about forming lasting relationships after that one.

Just count your blessings that you are free from a bunch of loosers. As for the guy who has your X-box, take him to small claims court. That would get his attention.
a boy friend would not get a quilt until he was a hubby.

Totally agree! Heck, sometimes I even disappoint myself.

You love your quilting work. It gives you a lot of pleasure. Why not pick colors and patterns you really are excited about and make quilts for YOURSELF. You deserve to benefit from your work. You are the one who will appreciate it most, love the look of it in your rooms, and the colors will make you smile and continue to enjoy life. Being independant, strong and confident in yourself will bring you satisfaction.

Stop picking the wrong people to make quilts for...that's the rub. Make quilts for Project Linus, Quilts for Kids, Quilts of Valor! AND make some quilts for yourself- because before you can truly give love to others, you must love and value yourself! It's not necessary to "buy" the affection of people who are really worth having in your life. Quilts are teaching you a life lesson...are you ready to accept it? You are not cursed, nor are your quilts.

Sounds like some of those you had chosen just are not "quilt worthy", but its more likely that you are out growing some of these "friends". Maybe you should just make quilts for you that you like and then if at some point one of your friends likes one, then you can give it to them at that point.

This is very wise counsel. When we 'pay it forward' and make something for someone we will probably never know or meet, the rewards and blessings come in other ways. I make charity quilts for Project Linus and I KNOW those sick children have something to hang on to when they go through procedures or just need comfort. That is reward in itself and, through that, I've been blessed with someone occasionally sending me scraps to complete yet another one. When I give back like that, I know someone else will give back to me. It's the way blessings work. :)

Look up a charity for something close to your heart and just see how needed you really are.

You sound like beautiful person. Doyou have a church family? I know the people from my church would be ao appreciative of a handmade quilt.

Sometimes we are inclined to be generous to our own disadvantage...Hang in there...Karma is a wonderful thing... Watch and wait... Good things will happen to you if you keep your head up and focus on ALL the good things in your life! Love your avatar! Put on Sevindust, play it REALLY LOUD! and dance all the bad energy away!!!!