When my Dad was in a nursing home I purchased a nice robe for him. It disappeared. I talked to a neighbor who worked in a NH and she suggested that we think thru anything that we are going to leave there. Not only the problem of things disappearing but also how things are laundered. She suggested that when we want to replace clothing we purchase things at a thrift store because we then know that things have been washed a number of times and all fading and shrinkage has been done. Of course the price of a polo shirt is so little there that if something goes missing it isn't a big expense. He too would "shop" other rooms and it wasn't unusual to find a flowered pink slipper next to a green plaid one in his closet. One resident even had someone elses dentures on their dresser. Never buy or bring anything that is of value and of course as has been said mark everything you can as conspicuously as possible. The care he got was wonderful and everything else was just "stuff". Visit often and make sure the staff knows who you are. Visit at different times and don't announce a visit, just arrive.

Hope the quilt gets found.

Sad but it happens a lot. My friend here owns the local quilt shop and had made her mom a few that fit her bed at the care center, and a couple disapeared.... only one has come back... she said my mom has 3 here so you can have a clean one for her and I expect to see them here, and I'd like that other one is returned too.
Hope your's comes back too.
ConnieF

I'm so sorry that your quilt is gone. I hope that it turns up soon. It's so sad that our loved ones can't havce nice things in a care facility b/c they disappear. I understand about the laundering-clothing needs to be able to be really clean. and then comfort is important too. but there shouldn't be the fear that the resident can't have anything nice b/c it walks away is really sad. My great aunt was in a Nh and her glasses disappeared-how do you mark them? that was the problem. then there was the resident that collected everyones dentures and kept them in their drawer. Imagine the fun the staff had trying to find the rightful owners froma whole drawer full of teeth!

Go to the Social Services Dept. and voice a complaint with them. In the nursing homes I have worked in, that is the dept. you go to. They will call around to help locate it. Good luck.

Maybe a thoughtful worker took the time to wash it properly so it wouldn't be ruined in the regular laundry. Most staff that I have dealt with are caring and consciencious. They care about their residents. sure there are always a few bad apples, but the majority are not. I've had family in homes as well as working in them. The good experiences definately outweigh the bad.

I made my mom a quilt after she had to go to a nursing home. Though I put her name on the label I thought that if someone wanted it bad enough they could just remove it, so when I machine quilted it I actually quilted her first and last name into the meander quilting on the borders. It's not noticeable and yet it's easily found if you're looking for it. As long as it's not removed from the residence I can find it and always prove it's hers.

This is common. When my father was in the nursing someone stole his wheel chair that was fitted especially for him. His wallet was also stolen. As often as we told him it had to go home he wanted it there.

I agree with you whole heartedly. Not all families are prepared mentally, physically or financially to take care of their loved one and this does not mean they don’t love or care about their loved one. Caregiving is 24/7. Some facilities provide excellent and loving care. If you ever have to look into one try to look beyond the flowers and decore. Also look to see how the staff interacts with the residents. Are the residents smiling, talking and interacting with each other and staff? Or are all of them plopped in front of a TV all day? What kind of activities do they have for the residents? Ask a resident how they enjoy living there. If you place a loved one in a facility visit at different times of the day & night. If you stop by every day at noon to have lunch with your loved one surprise them with a 7 am or 8 pm visit.

Try to remember that it isn’t always the staff taking things. I don’t know about the rest of the country but here in FL if you steal from an elder you go to jail if it's a nickel. There were employees who did steal where I worked and it is hard to figure out who it is (the PD should be notified.) Generally it’s the last one(s) recently hired. It makes me angry that anyone could ever do something so awful to an elder at a time they need love and care the most.

Some residents take things. Alzheimer’s patients do this because like a sweet child they take what they want, they don’t know any better. There are times too where the resident themselves may misplace their things, especially if they have Alzheimer’s (you could find a pair of glasses in the fridge or food hidden.) However, as I mentioned in an earlier post some residents take things when they don’t have Alzheimer’s.

Not all assisted living facilities have employees who steal, it just takes one bad apple.

The honest and loving employees don’t want this happening anymore than the resident or their family.
It shouldn’t be this way but when the family is involved by visiting regularly their loved one sometimes gets better care. They don’t want complaints from family members. If you feel that your loved one is being abused or neglected approach the director/owner/decision maker immediately. Try to get the issue resolved at this level. They may not be aware of the problem an employee or other resident is creating. If this doesn’t help contact your umbudsman (there is no charge for this.) An umbudsman’s job is to protect our elders and they take their job seriously. No facility wants an umbudsman going in but they must allow them access to everything. The exception is to the resident’s medical records (in FL) and if permission is given by the resident or family member (who has power of attorney or guardianship) then they must supply this info too.

One thing to watch for in an Alzheimer’s patient is sudden weight loss, it must be reported to the residents Dr. immediately. Sometimes it means the patient is having a hard time using their eating utensils and the staff can cut their food ahead of time for them in the back (preserving their dignity) or offering them finger foods.

When I worked for an assisted living facility I cared about the residents, their happiness and their health.

Well Said, ScrapHappy!!


One thing to add ...... sometimes "lost" items have become so, because of a generous owner, who gave them away to others in their home/facility!