my MIL's mother has been put in a nursing home, so doesn't remember who I am or where she is most of the time. MIL as asked me to make a quilt for Grandma. I am quite certain she does not plan on paying me anything above the cost for this. I have a pattern picked out and the fabric requirements call for more fabric than what you need. Would it be awful of me to buy (her with me) the fabric that the pattern calls for or should I use the ones I have come up with. We are talking more than an extra yard of fabric. I have many projects planned that will be put aside so I can make Grandmas quilt right away.

I would use what you have on hand unless your MIL specifically requested you use certain fabrics.

Unless you can afford to buy the extra fabric, I agree with CoriAmD, just use what you have on hand.

You can use what you have on hand. We all have a good stash so dig deep and you will probably come up with some nice fabric.

Use what you have on hand.

I'd go with what you have one hand.

This is very generous and thoughtful of you to make this quilt for your Husbands Grandmother in the nursing home, but If she doesn't remember you, how will she remember You made the quilt for her? ( that may not be as important.) Also Please be sure to put her name on it in bold letters on the back when you label it. I made my own grandmother a beautiful quilt and some one stole it from her room. To this day I think it was one of the staff people who worked there. Also make sure you or your MIL take it home to be washed, do not let the nursing home take it to their laundry service. Good Luck to you on this wonderful gift for her.

I dont have that big of a stash, I buy fabric mostly for the project. MIL will pay for the new fabric, the question is do I buy what the pattern calls for which is more than a yard extra or do I just buy what is needed and no more. Kinda like the extra fabric will be for my time. You should also know that this woman MIL is very needy and is coming to us (me and DH) for everyting. Like having DH come over and change a light bulb over the stove no ladder needed. We live 25 miles away. She even has called us to come take the groceries out of her trunk cause she was too wore out from shopping. I guess I'm kinda venting on you good people. sorry

I disagree. Because...

Folks that go into a nursing home generally have a shortened life expectancy. Yes, they are having a hard time taking care of themselves outside of the nursing home, but folks deteriorate even in the NICEST nursing homes because they are taken care of, rather than having something to be responsible for.

Sad to say it, whether it's a year or 10 years...your MIL's mother is dying. We're all dying in a sense, but MIL's mother is moving toward that.

MIL asked you to make a quilt for her mother. It's a way of taking care of her elders before they pass on. From a spiritual/respect kinda place...ask your Mother in Law if she would like to choose the fabrics for her mother's quilt. Tell her you can help since you have an eye for color. I bet she will at the very least appreciate the offer.

K. I was misunderstanding the question.

Buy the fabric according to the directions. The "scraps" are yours to keep. Still ask MIL her opinion on the colors.

And...she's lonely. It's not that she needs help, she needs attention. Which is a whole 'nother topic. ;)

I agree completely, and having worked in long term care facilites , the point of having her name on it and taking it home for washing is best. If you can some how incorperate her name into a block , it will also help it to stay with her. I would also recommend a flannel back as it helps to keep it from slipping off the bed so easily.

I know what you mean, MIL has already told me she hopes it doesn't get stolen. I am thinking of the heart ache I am going to have when it does. If I make this more of a business transaction, meaning I get to keep the left overs to add to my stash, it may not hurt so much. I am very attached to my quilts I am sure someone can understand that.

K. I was misunderstanding the question.

Buy the fabric according to the directions. The "scraps" are yours to keep. Still ask MIL her opinion on the colors.

And...she's lonely. It's not that she needs help, she needs attention. Which is a whole 'nother topic. ;)[/quote]

I am taking MIL with me to Joanns to buy the fabric, and your right she's lonely, but thats her fault. She'd still be married if she wasn't such a b......., even DH says so.

anytime she starts a sentence out with "LISTEN, ...... we cring

Let her buy the fabric requirements. You'll have it for yourself or even a pillowcase. You're doing the work so reap some benefit other than a good feeling if you are putting other projects on the back burner. It wouldn't be wrong. We even occassionally make a mistake and do end needing more!

I think a lap quilt would be nice, if shes up in a wheelchair it would cover her legs, also sometimes in nursing homes things disapear. use what you have add an extra border.

I would have her buy the amount of fabric the pattern calls for.

There is no reason in the world why you should not be able to keep the extra fabrics. After all it is YOUR time that you are putting forth in making this quilt. Just relax and have a fun time with it, This is what quilting is all about.

What a good idea. My Mom is going to a facility soon and I am going to be working on a quilt for her bed. The thought to add her name never occured to me.

I plan on FMQ her name in it in several places. Its my biggest fear that it will disappear.

Oh yeah....don't get me wrong...it's not your job or (DH's) to be her everything. It's much more pleasant for you if you just know where it's at with her and set your limits. :D

Shoot...she's still married? She's GOT someone to change a no-ladder-required bulb!

definately buy, what is called for, the left over is urs...

get what the pattern calles for you may have som mistakes and dont whant to have to go back and try to find more i usualy get a bit extra just in case of mistakes. and its normal for the person making the quilt to keep scraps.

her husband left her several years ago. She is quite bossy and demanding. If she doesn't get her way, she will act like a child and not talk to you, she will even have someone sitting right next to you ask you a question for her. Totally rediculous

Oh boy, it is hard. From being a volunteer I would tell you to make sure there are textures, like stick in a corduroy. If she has dimensia (spelling looks wrong), well I find those patients will follow the quilting lines, enjoy the fabrics, and rub on different textures. Do high contrast. You don't need fancy but if she use to have flowers, lots of flower blocks would be great. She will enjoy them.

I would say buy what the pattern calls for and don't forget the thread. The thread can cost almost as much as the fabric. Please don't look at it that you are doing this for your MIL look at it that it's going to your DH Grandmother it will make it much easier to work on.

Is there someone else that could make this quilt? I'm getting the feeling that you'd rather not be put in the middle of this?

Let your MIL shop from your stash. make a lap size quilt or a Nap size that is about 65 x75. Remenber that you are making this for your DH's grandmother not only your MIL's mother. Make this lut of the kindness of you heart! Try to keep it as cheap as possible since you said that your MIL does not have a lot of money. Also even though someone may not be able to recogonize you or acknowledge that you are there they know when some one that loves them is near. the quilt made with love will comfort her.

Just get what the pattern calls for. You never know, there might be a mistake in the amounts or there might be a mistake in cutting or something.... it's been known to happen!

Anything left over is for your use.

buy what is called for. what is extra is extra. otherwise you'll have to spend time cutting extra carefully and what if you make a goof? a yard or two should not break the bank or your MIL would buy a cheapy quilt for her mother

Isn't this your husband's grand mother? Why not make her a quilt like your MIL suggested and give it to grandma? Make it quick and simple with items on hand. Who cares if she knows you or not.

oh, sure there is. Grandma's other daughter....but will she, noooo. I'm going to do it. Hopefully the daughter wont cretic (sp) it.

its very likely to be stolen. I dont mind making grandma a quilt.... I guess its more about the beef I'm having with MIL about her attitude when I told her I was in the middle of 3 other projects and she acted like I should drop everything I was doing and make the quilt. I did offer her one I already have done but she didn't like the idea of lighthouse and requested flowers instead. Fine with me, but she will have to wait til the other projects are done. the main reason for the post was if I should follow the fabric requirements from the pattern and keep the over 1 yard extra or if I should use the adjusted requirements that I came up with that has less waste.

its very likely to be stolen. I dont mind making grandma a quilt.... I guess its more about the beef I'm having with MIL about her attitude when I told her I was in the middle of 3 other projects and she acted like I should drop everything I was doing and make the quilt. I did offer her one I already have done but she didn't like the idea of lighthouse and requested flowers instead. Fine with me, but she will have to wait till the other projects are done. the main reason for the post was if I should follow the fabric requirements from the pattern and keep the over 1 yard extra or if I should use the adjusted requirements that I came up with that has less waste.[/quote]

I guess what I was trying to say is maybe cut out MIL. Just make a quilt for grandma on your own terms and time. If you want to give the lighthouse quilt give that or make a simpler easy and less expensive quilt since you are concerned about it being stolen. If you end up working with MIL, yes keep any left over fabric. As for the pattern choose the one you are more comfortable with. I am sorry I probably did not understand all the way and probably still do not. I am sure grandma will greatly appreciate it even if she can not express it. I would hope when I am in her position some one would care enough to make a me a quilt even if I am out of it.

A lap quilt is a great idea as she can use it in bed as well as with a wheel chair. Maybe you could scan a family photo on the front so it does not walk...I would ask MIL which she would rather you do, use the material and pattern you have or would she like to pick something out and pay for it her self. I am 75 this year and quilt all the time, also retired Administrator in a HUD senior housing complex. Its her mom and she will feel like something special was done for her. Bright colors liked even more hope this helps. Quiltingjaguar in Jax., FL.

I made a lap quilt for my MinL. She has memory issues, no one seems to want to use the D. word but...
I found some nice loon fabric to use. She has always loved loons and does remember seeing them at the lake.

grandma always planted pansies every year and I have made the sugestion to MIL that I could make something with pansies in it and she liked the idea. MIL wants a twin sized quilt for the bed. So I am going with 60x80

How about a memory quilt. Using pictures of her husband, children and grandchildren. It willl be less likely to go missing.

Agree with putting pictures in it with family members along with the pansies.

Know your main concern was about the fabric but did want to share this with you: Try to find peace within yourself towards the mil. Mine is now in nh w/alzheimers.

Do set boundaries or maybe even 2 days a month that you will commit to going over and helping her w/anything! and have her keep a list of "to do"'s. my mil got used to it and our time with her became so much more enjoyable and then we in turn invited her over twice a month for a meal or walk in the park, grocery shopping, etc. Perhaps this may not work for every family situation. But it built trust, increased compassion towards one another and we all learned to be at peace.

MOM was in N/H.. suggest to write her full name in black permant marker on back of quilt. Easier to read if it grows legs and runs around the facility..catch my drift. We had Mom's name on EVERYTHING including socks!

I wouldn't worry about the extra yard of fabric. What if you make and error and need to make another sqare or something? Maybe if the fabric was $100 a yard I would be feeling guilty, but not over 10.00 or so. Get what the pattern calls for.