are you saying that they want YOU to give the quilt or are they paying you to make the quilt?

I just give a chuckle and say I'll add you to the list and leave it at that. Sometimes I think people are just saying that because they think you expect them too. Not for a real desire. If they repeate the request more than twice I rethink it. But I have found that I don't take requests I make what I want and they can have it or not. That way I get to make what I want. good luck

I have recently been in the same boat. Having people requests quilts. And of course stupid me, I do it. After this last experience, I have decided to stop. I am miserable while making theses quilts. They are not what I want to be working on. I recently made a Baby quilt for a friends daughter. the daughter has yet to send a thank you or even a phone call. the friend did call and said "daughter just loved the quilt". (Just not enough to thank me for it).

Yes I am quite upset over it all. I put time and money into it. So I have made a decision to no longer cave into the pressure of making quilts because someone ask. I am only going to make one when I want to. This is not say I will never ever give one away. I know I will, but it will be on my terms and not someone else's. It is called boundaries and it is ok to have them. Good Luck :)

My elderly aunt once told me, "You don't have to give a reason, all you have to say is 'it's not convenient', end of story". Amazing how well it works!

Related question: If I made Baby #1 a quilt, do I need to make Baby #2 one as well? Mom is a good friend and coworker but refuses to find out the gender pre-birth and I hate working around that.....BUT---don't want #1 to have a quilt to use into at least the school years (It turned out about twin size or so) and #2 to feel left out. Due day is around New Year's Day so I have plenty of time as I make them really simple with great fabrics. What do you think?

Simple, you can say, "I will be happy to put you on the list. Your number is 57, in order of requests." Or something like that. Do you charge? I had a friend who said she might have me make one for her grandson. I told her that I don't do the quilting and it is very expensive. I would have made it for her for nothing but just the idea of paying for the quilting part turned her off. I only have one person who quilts and she is expensive. Wish I could find someone here who was cheaper.

I knit and sew kids clothes and had the same issue at my last job. It stopped when I did. I just said I didn't do that anymore. And how much do you want me to put in for a group gift? I made one thing at my current job, then I discovered the hospital volunteer shop - hand made, cute as a boot and it goes to a good cause.
I do still knit, but only for me now.

I made a quilt for a friend that was diagnosed with cancer. Well another lady that volunteered with me asked When do I get mine? Umm never. I simply ignored her. I had the same problem with people in FL when I lived there. They liked the way I decorated so were asking me to decorate their houses. It got nuts. Shopping sewing etc. I finally started telling them I was going to start charging for my time. It dried up with a quickness. Guess I was ok when I was free but not when they had to pay.

I let people know from the beginning that I would only make quilts "I" love. If they like one and say so I usually give it to them. But if they say I want a king size made in orange and bright green with curly Qs I say sorry, look at Walmart. Quilting is my hobby! not my job!

I have a flannel quilt top that my daughter requisted for my grandson. I wanted to finish it with a utility stitch. I said that I would make the quilt but she would have to help with the quilting. I had pictures in my head of my daughter and I quilting together. She always said "I just don't have the time"!
I am stubborn and didn't think that this was too much to ask. Really.
Now, when they request a quilt I tell them to get in line.

"I would love to make a quilt for you. I charge $25.00 an hour, you pay for the fabric, thread, quilting. Oh, she (the LAQ) charges by the square foot so the bigger the quilt and the more intricate the design the more money it cost. For a king sized bed you are looking at around $400-800.00". When do you want me to start it?

This should do it. If not, and they want you to make it, half the money up front, sign a contract, get 'er done, you just earned some bucks.

If you do the LAQ, they don't need to know that.

for a good friend I would make baby #2 a quilt equal to # 1

I have the same problem with some people in my DH's fishing club! There is a lady president of the club who has never held a needle in her hand nor owned a sewing machine. She bought a quilt kit in Alaska and had the gall to give it to my husband telling him that I could make the quilt for her. He asked me to do it for her because she works very hard for the fishing club. Thank God it was only a table runner, as I have made nothing bigger than a lap quilt. So it took me almost 2 years to start it, and I had to forgo a lot of other things to get the table runner done--it was an appliqued salmon pattern that required all of the fabric to be fussy cut, and that needed a lot of quilting, including echo quilting. My DH was so appalled at the amount time it took me to work on the quilt, that he charged the woman $200 for my time, which she paid. It taught me that I will not do anymore custom sewing or quilting for anyone because it puts too much stress on me. Life is too short for that!!

Go Gender Neutral in colors...I would make one!

i am with the rest of the ladies..if it no longer is fun or enjoyable..its time to stop...most non quilters dont have a clue..i dont know if you charge but you are a fool if you dont..and for those that arent close to you...give them a rate sheet..even a little on the high side and you will see...only those that truly want a quilt from you will be knocking on your door..the rest of them will be at target or walmart...life is too short..i know you will make the right decision....

Yep, had a co-worker bring in his sham for me to match as a gift for his wife. He was willing to pay, I did not really want to make it, have him a high estimate, he chose not to have it made.

I've made 2 baby quilts that didn't get a "thank you" note OR phone call OR anything from the mother. But I didn't make them because of the mother - or even the child. One I made for the grandson of a college friend, and another for the single mother of one of my sons friends. Both friend and son GREATLY appreciated it, and that was fine with me.

I keep quilt tops for babies done and in a box. Every time I take a block or a technique class, I will make a crib quilt top out of it, put it away until someone has a kid (usually at work).

I told hubby if you volunteer me for anything sewing/quilting, your going to eat cereal for a month for dinner. He found out the hard way I meant it.

For those that request quilts, I dummy down and tell them I cannot do it on a home machine, this is how much my long arm lady charges me, as I give them her pricing list.

A number of years ago I got into the same pickle. People that I worked with, but hardly knew.. and may I add, folks that would never consider me to be in their "social set", started inviting me to their wedding and baby showers when they saw the stuffed animals, hand made dolls and quilts that I had made for a few special friends. I finally quit going to the showers at all. If asked for items as "baby or shower" gifts, I became blunt and just asked how often do you spend $50 to 300 on a shower gift for a co-worker? To this day the "no shower" rule applies.

Absolutely spot on!! What she said!

I made my first quilt for my nephew over 46 years ago and have made one for each addition to our immediate family and some for baby showers of close friends. These things take time and folks do not understand that. I recently gave a baby gift of a quilt that was made with squares of hand embroidered cocker spaniels on it and one of the ladies asked me if I could make one for her. She asked me how long it took to put together and I told her it only took about 6 hours to put together but I could not count the hours of sewing and cutting. Hopefully she will forget about it.
I do make quilts for my kids and grandkids when they request them but they know I do them my way and on my time. I will make a specialty quilt for a great grandbabies birthday theme if the parent requests it in time but they are very simple. People need to understand the time it takes to make these projects and when I am pressured because I feel like I have to do it I do not enjoy it.d Just say no I do not have the time.

I've only been quilting a short time and this 'newbie' isn't broadcasting to friends and relatives my new found passion, so I don't have my door being knocked down with requests. I agree with all the aforementioned comments and in particular that life is too short to be doing what you don't want to do.

I tell them I sell the quilts for x amount and I give some as my personal gifts. You know this happens in many professions......A friend of mine had her flower shop and did many arrangements in town then she retired. She told me people ask her to do arrangements for them all the time....she cannot say no but we are working on it.

I admire those of you who have suggested teaching quilt-moochers to make one themselves. That is a lot of time! Chances are most will say no, but you may have someone who takes you up on it. Instead, you could tell them you are incredibly backed up and refer them to the local quilt shop for a beginner's class or to get a referral to someone who does this for a business. Someone suggested you say you are already "overwhelmed" with quilt projects. That's a good one, too. I have a friend who doesn't want to make quilts for people who ask -- at any cost. She begins by saying, "The minimum fee for me to make a quilt is $800, for any size. That does not include fabric and other materials. If you are still interested, I will give you an estimated price." No one has asked for a price yet -- lol. The key is to be nice, but firmly say you are already booked up, or that you don't make quilts for anyone other than your closest friends or family.

I agree, if it's a very close friend. If the friend is not that close, how about buying some special, even hand-made, for #2?

A) Say that you've become so successful that you're now having to charge for your exquisite work!
B) Tell them that you have such a backload of quilts to make that they can just get in line, or you'll call them when you have time to work on theirs!

Even charity quilts can get to you if you make too many.
I don't get free fabric, so when I make them, I let the ladies know that it will be a while as I am burnt out or I just say nothing. But I let them know it might be six months or a year before they get more.
We learned long ago to say no. My husband was a class A mechanic and you can have to many friends who think you should work on cars free. Finally he learned to say only for myself.
Recently I sent a lap quilt to someone I had not seen in many years, but have been in touch with the past few years.
She was surprised and happy to get it. It talked to me and said Linda.
We can all get overwhelmed so I learned to think what is most important at the time.
Every year to help hubbys family with money (reunions) I make a lap quilt to be raffled off. I know I have a year to make it and that gives me a thrill to think up something different.
This year I went for a Sun Bonnet Sue and the ones who have seen it want it for themselves as much as for the child.
I like to make for the kids in family, and do what I want and tell the parents please let them be rough with their "blankie"
Right now I am taking a break from sewing with one exception. I have one started to use as a family tree.My family.
Still doing some dreaming on parts of it but here is no rush and if I feel I want to make one for someone else, it can be put aside.
learn to say NO life is too short to be caught up into wearing yourself out for others .

That's what I'm thinking I need to do. Fell in love with a gender-neutral animal print flannel today at the LQS so I think this one is......PROBLEM SOLVED!

I have the same problem only with my family and I can't seem to find it in my heart to say no and one of my son in laws has even taken to looking in my sewing room and saying when are you going to finally get around to making my quilt. I want to say as soon as I make myself one but know that I never will

I bought some material from a lady on ebay, who after I showed her the quilt top I had made, wanted to know if I could make quilts and sell them to her. I explained that it took so long to make one that no way would she want to pay me what I would have to have for one.
I told her if she had the time that quilts are fun to do and I mostly use squares and rectangles (no pattern) when making crib size ones, which a lot of mine our,
The kids really seem to enjoy having their very own blanket, even college age kids. :thumbup:

I told a new acquaintance that I had plenty PIG'S, just pick one and finish it, or go find the material (y'all call if fabric, now days, thorry) and read a book on it before purchasing it. Then she would see why it is just a hobby. sometimes people gripe me about 'when' and I turn them off and go fondle my fabric, little pieces and the big ones. I love my fabric. This hobby is personal.

Blessings,
Ruth

the problem I have is if I am making something for someone specifically, my family members will see it and start dropping hints. I've made some pretty black-white-bright ones recently and one particular preteen girl in the household will literally get mad if I say it's for someone else. I've told her nicely in several ways but the message wasn't getting through until I said "look here little missy, yes it's cool and pretty, but until I give it away it's MINE and who I give it to is my business since I made it." That caused lots of stomping and sulking but what can you do?

I am retired and have all the time in the world :D :lol: :lol: :-P :lol: ....NOT! I also have 3 children with a total of 8 GC. I told them a long time ago that the quilts I will make should not be considered birthday, wedding, Christmas, etc quilts. They will get them when they get them. It is still hard to do because 5 of the GC are in one family! I just finished a flannel quilt for my oldest GS (see Pictures) who will be 12 the first week in August....I am thinking seriously about waiting until the last of August to send it to him, after his birthday....haven't decided yet.

Of course there is BIL, SIL, etc...

I have kits (with/without) fabric with patterns which have their names on them....if I don't have time (or inclination) to make them before I go, at least they will know I was thinking of them....

I agree... smile your best smile and say "no, I can't do that for you.. perhaps you can find someone else that has time." and then ask them about their kids/husband/dog/work/ and move on. It's my best trick.. end with asking a question.. they'll feel compelled to answer the question and then it's too late to go back. Works most of the time.

Teacher bailey - I'm in the same situation. I really enjoyed doing an appliqued fuzzy sheep quilt for a friend's first GC but now there is #2 and she asked if I would do a similar one but with bunnies for #2. She did offer to pay for it but I would feel bad if she did. I don't know if I will have much time for it in the near future so I will have to really think about if and when.

There are many people that do not have a clue as to the cost and the amount of time that it takes to sew or make something. I have done a lot of costuming/wardrobe designs for different theatre groups and have had lots of experience with many that do not know what is required. I patiently explain what is required to 'tweek' or adjust what they would like and they realize that it's not a 5 minute undertaking - has been very interesting!! Too bad I enjoy being creative with the costume designs because I should really focus on making quilts for myself and my family. I don't have any that I have made - have given them all away as gifts.

I make "family" quilts for special things. Daughters got Christmas quilts last year. New great-grand child's mom wanted quilt - I told her it would be his Christmas present.
Older grandchilden get Christmas quilts this year. Grandson got wedding quilt.
For friends I keep a bin of small quilts- if somone wants one for gift - I take bin to work with prices on the quilts.
Our church ladies (UMW) make graduation quilts. We divide them up and our budget pays for the material/batting/thread.
These have kept me from being caught up in the "free" market. Also if someone wants a special quilt - I tell them the cost before I agree to do the quilt. If I want I do the quilt if not I say I do not have the time.
SandyB

I totally agree...I'm to the point of just saying "I'm sorry, no" and moving on. I don't make excuses any more.

I just say "I don't have time to make one"! I have had several people say that to me and I am amazes at how they think we can just whip one up in an evening or two. I know they mean well! When my niece was hoping for a quilt at her baby shower, I dropped everything and got into action. She was pleased!

That happened to me, and I decided that I would just announce a moratorium on gift quilts and that I'd be making some things for myself for the coming year. I don't think it was because people were greedy....I think nonquilters just don't realize how much time goes into making a quilt.

You could tell anyone who asks that you are taking a break from quilting for friends as gifts, as it has gotten so over-whelming that you don't have any time to quilt for yourself. Tell them that you will let them know if anything changes. It's the truth and they can't argue with it, or feel bad about it.