I have a problem with people now expecting me to make quilts as gifts for babies, weddings, etc. These people are mostly people I work with. I started this myself and now I don't know how to get out of it. I spend so much time quilting for other people, I don't have time to quilt just for enjoyment or heaven forbid, make something for myself!

You should start charging them for your time and materials. Or tell them that you have too many orders...

I have the same problem, so I'm making some quick baby quilts out of panels to satisfy the people that I am not real close to. I also made some fleece baby blankets with crocheted edging which went real fast. I can give those sets to the ones that I don't want to invest quilting time into.

You should merely state that you have several orders waiting, and with the increased costs of fabrics, threads, you are also going to have to increase what you charge to make quilts for others.........You may want to have a "cost" sheet printed up just for occasions like this..........show them what it would cost for a basic quilt in crib, twin, full size.........

That is a problem, isn't it? I would just be honest and say that you are overwhelmed and feeling a little burnt out. People understand.

Why is it that we have such a hard time saying one of the shortest sentences in the English language? "NO." Seems like it should be easy, right? But it's so difficult for so many of us.

Instead of saying "No," I say, "Oh I wish i could, but..." and then I state why. "I don't have the time, or I don't have the money" are my usual reasons. And I don't mean excuses, I mean REASONS. Life is short. Spend your time and energy wisely!

I've dug myself into the same hole, but with my family. It's not that they have expressed they "want" a quilt, I have this "ought to" feeling about it. This is the only gift I give, I just wish I was faster at it. I don't seem to be both fast and good, and I won't give something I'm not proud of.

I have so many "to do" quilts that I feel overwhelmed and now I'm avoiding the sewing room. This has got to stop!

If people suggest that you make them quilts, tell them the cost of LQS fabric and a one year minimum to make. My nephew asked if I would make him a "simple king sized quilt". He said he would buy the materials. I told him it would be a minimum of $400, he said he would "shop" elsewhere. I want to make him one, but on my schedule.

So there is someone out there feeling exactly like I am. Isn't it funny how it makes us feel better knowing we aren't alone. My quilt to do list is quite long as well. Thanks for all of the responses.

I read this as people are expected Deb to GIVE THEM gifts of quilts (instead of another gift).

For that I don't have any answers.

Non-quilters rarely know how much time and money is involved in making a quilt. You can always tell them that you already have a lengthy list of projects to make so you are unable to take on anymore.
I think many of us take on so many requests that we rarely make anything for ourselves or have time to explore new techniques. Just be firm, kind, but firm. ;)

I feel for you, so often people who do not sew or quilt or paint in my case, do not know how much time effort and expense go into these things, they think you can just conjour them up!! I think I would start saying sorry but you have a list as long as your arm and can not take any more orders right now, they will soon get the message, if it all becomes too much and is no longer enjoyable, there is no point to it I feel, that is MHO.

Gal

Ditto

I started giving quilts for wedding gifts to the young people (friends of my kids) at church who are getting married. I think everyone now knows and hopes that they will get one too.
It is probably an expectation, but maybe they are just hoping that I will make one for them.

I'm getting tired of people putting in special orders such as, a sports quilt, a horse quilt, a princess quilt, etc.
There are so many quilts I WANT to make that I'm quickly getting to the point of take it or leave it...no more special orders (I'm supposed to be doing this for fun. relaxation, and spiritual time). Maybe I'm being too selfish?? Forgive me.

Deb, you said that you have no time to make anything for you or learn new techniques. It doesn't make sense to start charging them. You STILL won't have time for you. You need to firmly learn to say no. When you aren't working you should be able to have time to enjoy this wonderful art for the happiness it brings you. Sounds like it's turned into a job and that isn't good.
When I don't want to do something I don't think of a million excuses anymore. I just nicely say " I'm sorry but I can't".
It's a very freeing feeling once you do it a couple of times.
Now go make something for you!! :D

My SIL asked me to make another I-spy quilt for her friends new grandbaby,she pays me for the material,of course.
i asked for when?..she said Christmas. that is not so bad..

if i were you, i would just say no, i can't do it. as for me, i could not afford to keep pumping them out as gifts..

Not enough hours in the day at times, If I give someone from work try to do it out of the sight of others, and I ask them not to make a big deal out of it. Don't want to hurt feelings, but sometimes toooo many babys. They get the hint when recieve somthing different. If ask have said before ya'll have too many bb's, but in a nice way.
I'd rather give to someone who I thinks a cool person than from obligation. :)

When the project is not fun, then it becomes WORK. Remember WORK is a 4 letter word. Just say no. These people that keep asking or expecting quilts most likely don't appreciate the time, effort and money that goes into one.

I would just not do it! If you need to, buy a gift. Nothing needs to be said unless they say something, then just tell them you didn't have the money or the time or whatever reason you choose.

I only make quilts I want to make. I have made quilts for babies (not many) and I am sure some people has hoped I made them one too, but if I don't feel like it, I will not do it. If it costs me a friendship, I didn't have one to begin with. Only one have I made a quilt for someone just because I made one before for one of her grand kids. This woman called me from SC while on vacation asking if I would do it if she got the fabric, gave me no deadline to finish, and paid me very well for making an extremely simple quilt (just a panel in the center and a border).

I have a bunch of finished quilts and if I have to give a gift that I feel is quilt worthy, I go through them and select one.

Never mind friends and relatives.....I had a perfect stranger ask me to make one from bags that come with some whiskey called Royal Crown, or Crown Royal. Something like that. I was not interested. I had a tough time telling him, but next time someone asks for one, it will be easier.

You are NOT NOT NOT being selfish in wanting to do something for yourself.

Maybe you can ask the person, "Are you placing an order for a quilt? We can discuss approximate costs, etc. at such and such a time."

That should send them running for the hills.

I give most of my quilts away, I pick who will get one. Sis in law asked me to make her one for her upstairs sitting room, she has 2 already, I said I would. She's the only one to ever ask me to make one.

Bearisgray- I burst out laughing at what you said !!
As the late, great George Carlin would have said "What hills??
What hills is she talking about"???
LOL :D:D
Great response too!!!

I had this happen at work too, only I was knitting baby afghans.......first pregnant one, I knitted her a baby blankie......then second one is pregnant and I did a ssecond one.......wouldnt you know, there were 9 pregnancies before every one stopped having them.... I dont think I have done a baby knitted afghan since then, and may never do another .....

I make and give away 2 quilts each Christmas. As time goes by, I have given most of our extended family a quilt. Last year was an exception. I gave 5 away, only because I have 5 neices and nephews in one branch of the family, I couldn't justify giving 2 of the kids quilts and not the other 3. I have had lots of people hint, or just come out and ask for a quilt. My answer is maybe someday. I told my sister and an aunt no because they ask me to make them king size quilts. I FMQ on a home machine and I don't make king size quilts. I can't handle the weight. I learned early on to say no. I have also been asked to do commisions. I send them to the nearest LQS. They always come back humbled by the price it will cost them to have a quilt made. Most don't want to pay $125 or more to have a baby quilt made, or $800 for a queen or king size. Send them to the LQS, they always know someone who is willing to take on commisions. Your work will be that much more appreciated when you chose to give your quilts away. BTW, I rarely make baby quilts any more, just for very special people in my life. The ones I make now will be put back for my future GKs.

Momymom- you made some great points.
Just wanted to comment on family. I think making quilts for family is a whole lot different from people at work. I love the idea that you are making quilts (or will be) for your future GK. I hope to make quilts for various family members that I haven't gotten around to. ( the ones I really want to make them for hahaha.) And future GK too.

I am now hearing... my baby moved from the crib to the big girl/boy bed ... yeah so ???? :roll: LOL

I didn't mean that I don't give quilts away. I just don't give them because they are expected. I have made baby quilts for 3 great nieces and a twin size for a great nephew. Then I quilted them fleece blankies so that they carry them around where they wanted them. Now I will make larger ones for the girls. I make them because these kids are special to me. I babysat my nephew when I was 13 and grew very close to him. The other nephew is my sister's stepson, but he is a son to her. I grew close to him when he came to my house three times with the ambulance for late husband. These children are almost like adopted grandkids because we couldn't have children.

Place the tip of your tongue firmly on the roof of your mouth right behind your upper teeth. Make a humming sound then bring your tongue down, forming an O with your lips. Repeat after me: NO NO NO
When people at church found out that I sewed I was swamped with alterations, bride's maids dresses etc.
Finally one day I wrote a poem.

Lord, I'll do what you ask me to do
Lord, I'll go where you want me to
Tell me what you want, don't make me guess
But don't have me make a bride's maids dress.
The fabric will ravel, it will slip, it will slide
When I say, "Oh I don't mind", You know that I've lied.
I'll do anything, but this I confess
I really hate making a bride's maids dress.

After letting a few people read it no one asked any more. You might write a little poem, print it out and hang it on your wall.

Then up your prices---a lot. I used to have people ask me to paint portraits of their kids, grandkids, etc. When I told them that it was beween $800 and $1200 they usually backed out.

people you work with expect you to make free quilts for them? they feel automatically entitled?

if found a cure for that. when somebody asks me if i'll make a quilt for them i tell them that the minimum charge is $200 for a simple crib size - minimum quilting or tied. they flip and then leave me alone. if you add up the value of your time and skills, factor in the fact that time spent on a commission quilt is time you can't spend doing what you'd rather be doing, consider that you might get stuck making somehing you don't even like, and then add the cost of supplies, $200 is dirt cheap.

frankly, i don't worry about hurting a moocher's feelings. neither should you. they are selfish boneheads who have relegated you to servant status. but, if you insist on piling unwarranted guilt onto your own shoulders, then start by saying you can no longer afford to give quilts away to everybody who asks for one. then follow up with the minimum charge.

if i've misunderstood and people are not asking you, but you have simply created a self-inflicted obligation, the solution is even easier.

don't make any more quilts for people at work. ba-dum-boom, problem solved. ;-)

(almost forgot my other solution. i offer to teach them how to make one themselves if they buy the supplies. the offer includes helping them shop for the fabs and pick a good beginners' pattern.)

[quote=PatriceJ]I agree with Patrice on this. Maybe you could start a quilting bee at work and teach these individuals a new skill. That way its a win-win. That way you'll have time to do your stuff and teach them a very simple block to do. You could even charge a nominal fee if you wanted to. They buy the cloth, batting and backing and you give them a starters pattern.

You do need to take this as a very nice compliment. If your work was shabby you wouldn't be getting this requests. I've quilted for almost 16 yrs and still don't have one for my own room. Have the material though! :lol: :lol:

I think it has more to do with the 'feel' you get from the way some people hint or ask for a quilt. Some of them say "where's mine", "when do I get one", "am I next", "green's my favorite color"...and you feel honored that they want one. Others say it in such a way that the same words make you feel like they think they're entitled to get something since whoever else got one.

Thank you so much for this thread. I have been in a squanderance about what to do. I am just getting tired of always handquilting for every one who asks and I cannot say no. Then I charge some ridiculous price like 175.00 for a king size. I felt bad asking for good prices. So after reading this blog I am going to let them know I am retiring from quilting fro others so I can finish all my UFOs and will let them know if and when I sew for the public again.
I have "friends" who come in and see quilts and say, I want this, etc. And of course family, but now everyone, and I mean everyone in my family has a quilt by me.
I am going to learn to say NO or ignore any hints for a quilt for now.
Hopefully, I can do it. My DH said I am always tired from quilting all day and he actually applauded when I told him I decided to quit quilting for the public.
Thank you everyone for the comments. I am not alone out here. Yeah......Going to work on my batik blocks right now.

I have given quits to people I work with because I want to. When someone asks me to make a quilt, depending on the size requested I mention I would charge 10.00 and hour and looking at min of 40 hours plus cost of fab/batting. That usually turns them off.

I also say quilts I make are suprise gifts and I get too nervous doing consignment quilts.

I've given 30 quilts to people at work for various reasons: first baby, divorce, difficult Christmas, first apartment, cancer comfort quilts, cleaning lady who works her butt off for us, gal moving to Maine from NM...now she really needed a quilt and long underwear too, etc. Don't do anyting for first grandchild. Don't know the mom...won't do the quilt.

Do I sound cranky? Just want to make sure the quit I give away will be used and appreciated. 9 times out of 10 the reciepeint tears up...and so do I!

You only charge $125 for a king!!!!!! I have between 20 and 30 tops that need quilted. If I mail them to you can I have them back in a month? LOLOLOL Seriously, around here that's really CHEAP!!!

When I was working at my last company I think I gave away 2 quilts, my boss new baby and a co-worker breast cancer, another co-worker paid for the pink flannel backing. This co-worker bought 3 bed sized quilts from me, not cheap prices. Another co-worker ordered a custom wall hanging for his wife as a Christmas gift, he told me what he want in it, and the size to fit one partical wall space. I hit it lucky on that one, LQS had FQ sale for $1 each including batik which is what most of them were. Packed a lunch and went with a friend the 2 hours one way trip for the FQ's.
What could be better, lunch in the car looking out over the lake; after buying all those FQ's.

HEY DEB! Can you clarify this?

The quilts you made sound like you did them from a very loving and generous heart. If that's "cranky" then I just learned a new word :D:D

Unless they mentioned it, I wouldn't even bring it up. I would buy a nice gift (maybe even a blanket from the store) and give it to them. If they mentioned it, then I would let them know that it just isn't possible at this time. I have too many other things going on and I wouldn't be able to work on it.