If it is a gift and you would be giving a gift anyway whether it is a quilt or not, give something else if you want to. I made a quilt for a co worker and then the mom to be of the next baby that came along expressed that she wanted the same thing...... and then the next and the next and one day I just gave a different present. We get ourselves into these things and think we have to keep on doing whatever it is and the truth is WE DON'T!

I use to make quilts for people that I worked with who were expecting babies. I stopped when one of my coworkers came to me to inform me that I would need to make a quilt for her 2nd baby. She made sure that I knew she wanted it in the peach, yellow and green. That was when I decided that making baby quilts for coworkers were no more. I did not feel guilty stopping either. Now when someone asks me about making a quilt for them, I just smile and say "no don't have time." I do tell them that if they want to make a quilt themselves, I would be more than happy to assist them in finding a class for them to go to. I never have any takers.

Here's what I think: The importance of the quilt for Baby #2 in the minds of you and the babies' mom is the key to whether you should make the quilt or not. If it's not important to "mom" and if it's something that won't nag at your conscience, then you should not feel compelled to make the quilt; a nice purchased gift would do just as well. However, I get the impression that YOU would feel better about the whole situation if you make a quilt for the new kid.

I too have had several people ask me to make them one-not even family members (who ALL have them by now, and I am on my second round!) or close friends-what I would call casual acquanitances, and I tell them they will just have to "wait in line". I have no intention of making quilts for people unless I WANT to make one for them. I have never had a family memeber "ASK", and have happily made one for each of them (nieces, nephews, grand niece and nephew, and aunt & uncle, as well as my 2 sisters and 2 sons. I did make a crip quilt for a GOOD friend's first baby, and a going-away give/house warming present for another GOOD friend. I know most people have NO clue the work and money that goes into one-and I hand-quilt, so the time investment is hugh.

All of you have made great points!

I do have to say that my dd is marrying a young man in Nov who has a 4yo dd. She will be my new granddaughter. She saw the quilts that I made for 2 other granddaughters in the same pattern but different colors.

My dd told me that when she was at her fiance's house and the little girl was there with her other grandma she said 'my new grandma is going to make me a quilt' ... I thought that was so cute. So I am going to give her one around the time of the wedding. And I'm going to give her a Christmas quilt that looks like the ones I've given to my other 3 grand kids. I can tell from her statement that she WILL appreciate it.

warm quilt hugs, sue in CA

at one time i had people doing the same thing to me but after awhile i started to tell them they had to get in line that i was backed up for awhile if they wanted to wait and gave them a estimated time plus some give for me, i figured if they wanted to wait that long i would make it at my leisure if not they bought something as a gift somewhere else

I hope you are charging these friends for the material, time and expertise they are receiving.

just tell them that you are unable to------you need time for a project of your own----------NIP IT IN THE BUD/1/2 OPEN FLOWER --NOW!!!

I agree. One thing I do that also works is say "I'll give you a family / friend discount". Then they think they're getting a deal. I also let them know once I know exactly what they want how much the material is estimated to cost. That helps them understand how expensive it is to make a quilt. I've never had a problem with this. I have repeat customers using this method.

Good Luck !!

I have a sister in-law who praises my craft skills to the sky and back - and then asks me to make her something She has said "if you ever make me a quilt I'd like it to be ...." or she says "if you ever got around to making a dress for me i'd like ... " I appreciate her loving praise and I was planning on getting to her quilt after I finished the three for my children that I am working on right now. I feel pressured although she has not asked for it in a specific way. It's hard because, ironically, I started quilting to get rid of all the pink fabric my girls "outgrew" and she LOVES pink. My response has been that I love her, and someday I hope to make her something. I also know that when I do get a round to-it, she will be over the moon with joy.

I would suggest saying no - give all the reasons if you have to - You could even tell The people who are asking the truth, that you are just so overwhelmend and would love to but you just can't right now. And then hopefully those who DO receive will be properly surprised and happy. (hopefully)

Oh - and then give thanks to God that you have been endowed with such gifts that you can give pleasure to people!

How do you know that they are "expecting" a quilt? Do they actually hit you up for it or for a commitment?

When someone gets demanding with me, I tell them to get in line, and I use a tone that conveys that they should not hold their breath.

It also helps to have the occasional drama moment and lament how busy you are with these projects you committed to and that you will need to scale back and do some fun things. They will get the message.

After reading all comments so far, I began to wonder if you are invited to the weddings, showers, etc. of all the ones who ask you to make them a quilt.

I make them for new babies in the family but some don't get them until they are 2. I make quilts as I want to and give them as gifts to who feel like. I don't feel like I owe them to anyone, even if they might think so.

When someone asks for a quilt that I wouldn't normally make, like a friend or acquaintance, I just laugh and say "you have no idea how long these take and how far behind I am in quilts for my family". I don't have to say no but they get the message.

I started making quilts for my sibilings, then moved on to their children, etc, etc. I have a niece that got forgotten in the shuffle so I made quilts for two of her children, then for the baby she had today with the intention of making one for her bed. Have I gotten a phone call, or email, or thank you card. NO. She will not be be getting a quilt for her bed. I mean 3 quilts and no time to drop a line of some sort. As you know the quilts don't just appear by the quilting faires over night. I spent alot more time and money than she would with a simple thankyou. What happened to manners????

I usually do give my quilts away, but, to whomever I want to give them to! Now, I to have people at work wanting me to give them my next quilt. I really don't know how to respond either. I know I have 4 quilts I need to get done, 2 of them are for my parents, for Christmas, so I am good on those. One for a very special person who is at work, he is challenged, and he is not expecting a quilt! I will make him one for Christmas also! The other is for a sick friend.... yes I need to get to quilting!

I think, being asked to make quilts is not a good thing. If you were in the business of making quilts for a profit or living, then that is another thing. A quilt that is given to another is all together different. It was made with and given with love. Don't put yourself in the position of feeling you have to make one for those asking.

It might be time to announce that you are no longer making quilts other than for your own enjoyment, be it a gift or a family quilt. Too much of your time is being taken up with trying to make one for everyone who wishes to have one. * but you could show them how to make one themselves if they were interested*!! That might spark an interest and create new quilters!

Good Luck and don't be afraid to say NO.

Sharon

I simply tell them that I just don't have time and that is that.
.

WHy does this sound so familar? As soon as people know you can sew-have a needle and thread and a sewing machine you now are sucker bait and know you can't say no. But after many years and mad cuz all my projects were on hold-I'd give a price and no more freebies. Now sewing or quilting is by my choice and people will buy or use the cow webbed sewing machine they never use.

Most people have no clue as to the time, work and money put into making a quilt. And, to make a quilt for someone who "expects" it takes the joy out of the whole project.

My Mom tells me every time she visits and sees a quilt she hasn't seen before, "I want one". My response is "I'm sure you do". And leave it at that.
Two years ago when I got back fron AQS, I had 7 baby quilts to make. I had them made and shipped in 2 months. Some were for friends, some for family. When I got thank you notes from the grandmothers instead of the mothers, I swore off ever doing it again. In the case of my aunt, her comment was (about her DIL), she wan't raised like we were, she doesn't know better. SO teach her!!!! Now when or if I make a baby quilt it's for very special people in my life, or my future GKs.
I won't make my own sister a quilt because of how she treated the 2 I made for her son. I know she doesn't take care of things. I'll be bringing his quilt home with me to see if I can repair it. At the time, I thought wrongly that she would take care of it because it was her son's. Wrong!!

I've always had the problem of people expecting me to sew for them. When I worked and my coworkers realized I made my clothes, they would "offer" to let me make their clothes. If I worked the same job as them, had a home and family to care for, how did I have more time than they did??? As several others have said, people that don't sew think that we that do/can sew, just whipp out the projects like we have magical powers.

I would just say you are working on a project, and don't have time for anything else. God bless.

I give those who expect me to sew for them the card for a local dressmaker.

I had a couple requests from coworkers and such. I refuse to make a "free" quilt for some one I don't really care about (I think you know what I mean by that). Generally once we start talking price they change their minds. One was trying to talk me into a Lord of the Rings themed one and was going "it costs what like $20 right"? I was shocked... and said... more like $50 or $60 just for materials. He changed his mind fast.

Another one over heard me talking about my periodic table one and wanted one. I said something like $400 or so and he backed down quick. (that one took a good amount of work).

Lets see... mom keeps asking for one..... but treats hand made blankets like crap.

I really like making ones just for that special someone - where they really aren't expecting one but it fits them so well that they love it. Its more fun that way. :)

as the lion on the wizard of oz would say " Ain't it the truth"
I decided along time ago to try my hand at cake decorating just for fun ---- then it was I need a cake for bla bla bla from my sister for my nephew's birthday -in this special color and theme---at my expense of course-- here's the "99 cent box of cake mix" -no eggs- no frosting--- no help- try and turn this 99 cent box of cake mix into a full size sheet cake and ready for pick up by 5 o clock--- sure I will--- and then get this--- that cake cost me alot more money to make other than 99 cents-- and I heard --- where's my gift from my nephew--- NO more cakes--- and now quilts on demand-- NOT

as the lion on the wizard of oz would say " Ain't it the truth"
I decided along time ago to try my hand at cake decorating just for fun ---- then it was I need a cake for bla bla bla from my sister for my nephew's birthday -in this special color and theme---at my expense of course-- here's the "99 cent box of cake mix" -no eggs- no frosting--- no help- try and turn this 99 cent box of cake mix into a full size sheet cake and ready for pick up by 5 o clock--- sure I will--- and then get this--- that cake cost me alot more money to make other than 99 cents-- and I heard --- where's my gift from my nephew--- NO more cakes--- and now quilts on demand-- NOT

No, I won't do it for family unless this is what they want. I certainly do not want it ending upat the Salvation Army or to wrap and store something. My GD was raised by her dad so her perspective is "store Bought" and the boys are fussy about their belongings.
They need to ask and then we could collaborate on the pattern and colors.
My church would like to have me make quilts to sell but then they don't want to ask for much and that is not helping them or me. I would rather do them for charity such as homeless and battered women.

Why not just set a date and say, "After this date, I won't be making any more quilts to give away or sell." I decided that last fall and so far I am doing good with it!

I just told someone it would cost $400.00 to make her a quilt, she said I can get one at ---- I said you go there you'll get it alot quicker LOL

Me and my silly questions. Since when do we owe anyone any explanation for saying no, however it is said? It's far easier for DH and I to say no than to turn something we love into something we despise. (I piece, he quilts on LA.) When people start asking me, we tell them we don't quilt for others, we quilt for US. If they ask why and we CHOOSE to answer, we tell them it's because the sweetest, kindest person in the world automatically turns into a stark raving, head-spinning, green liquid spewing idiot when they are PAYING to have something done, and we're just not into that. It's never gone further than gut busting laughter after that.

I have made quilts for co-workers but like other have said here its for special occasions that I enjoyed making it as a gift of love from me. It is not my business.

When asked at work about making quilts on order, I just tell people it's my therapy for the stress from work. If they want to pay me the cost of my therapy @ $80/hour (who could find a therapist at that cost!) I would be happy to make them one, they usually just laugh and walk away.

My family also knows it's my "therapy" so don't ask but are always excited if I make them one.

We all hope that the quilts we give will be treated well and people will cherish them. Unfortunetely we can't control what happens after they leave our sewing rooms and shouldn't fret about it. We made and gave them with love. A young child who loves (carries/drags all over) their quilt until it falls apart we don't get upset about but a quilt that is left folded on a shelf unused we feel unappreciated for- why is that? It is out of our control how it ends up - we need to let it go. Just need to accept that we enjoyed the process and the giving. Keep the extra special ones for ourselves.

I had started a quilt for the daughter of my son's girlfriend. Unfortunately it just didn't work out like I was wanting it to and then daughter decided she had a new favorite color, etc. so she never got one although her brother got one early on in my quilting learning stages. Now daughter has designed one on my Quilt Wizard program that is super complicated. We had talked about her coming over and picking out fabriccs, although she wanted to use the ones in the quilt I was working on when we talked, which I have some left of, but not enough to do a whole quilt. Until she comes over and picks out fabric I'm not starting her quilt, end of story...

It's been interesting reading this thread. Several years ago I had taken a Turning Twenty quilt top to work for 'show and tell'. One of the staff there wanted me to make a quilt for her in (most of) the same colors, and added 'But I want to see it first" (as in see it before accepting/paying for it). I told her to go to our LQS, pick out 20 FQ's (the number needed for said quilt) as well as the batting and backing required and I would make a quilt for her. Nope, she never did go and choose any fabric. Plus, if I HAD made a quilt for her, I would have requested payment up front...in cash...before parting with the quilt. Crass? Maybe...but she had a reputation for not paying for things she sometimes ordered from others....Sad.