In all honesty, I would tell her to choose another gift. She is old enough to understand that asking this of you is just too much. An EX is an EX (says the woman who is close to celebrating her 46th anniversary).

I agree and enjoy the time you spend with your daughter.

Just remember you are doing it for her not him. You did not say how old she was so you may have to do a little more than just teach her. However as you are sewing it remind yourself if it was not for him you wouldnot have her. It also seems she wants to give him something hat you love. A Quilt. Every time he looks at it he will be reminded of you.

how old is your daughter? I think I would have a heart to heart talk with her explaining your feeling about the situation and sort of offer a compromise. If you have a LQS maybe they have a beginners class that you could offer to pay for so that she can do this with someone not emotional involved, or a quilting friend who could be the overseer of this project instead of you. That way she can still make the quilt but you would not have to be involved.

I would help her because I'm a nice person and would enjoy the time with her. I wouldn't really care to whom the quilt is going.

Your daughter is your daughter for the rest of your life. Help her and you will never have regrets. Enjoy the time you get to spend with her. It isn't her fault that this is YOUR ex, not hers. I've been there, have two daughters.

I believe I would help my DD with the quilt; not actually do the work, but "mentor" her. However, I would suggest she do a lap quilt first. Then, later on, she can make a full sized quilt on her own. And, I would also like to know how old your DD is?

Having an 'ex' myself, I can understand your frustration, anger and maybe even a sense of betrayal. But, you two have a social relationship, she has a biological one. 21 years after the 'ex' experience, I can honestly say that we both have matured, and for the most part, have let go of most things. (notice I said MOST) but with kids and grandkids, some things just have to be let go. I realize that this just isn't the case for many, God has given me the sight and peace to look forward.

how old is u`r daugther and would it make her happy to do this for her dad after all it u`r daugther u would be doing it for and a opurinto for u and u`r daugther to bond

I'd be so happy to help. My ex has been shacking up with his girlfriend for 19 years... 7 of those years he was still married to me. If they got married, it would certainly help my attitude about my grandkids calling her "Grandma."

This is just the beginning. "The other woman" will be thrust into your life every time your kids plan any family activities. I've never wanted my kids to suffer for their parents actions. I told them that if they wanted me to sit in "her" lap at their wedding, I'd do it with a smile... my tongue would probably be bloody from biting it, but it's not about me, it's about my kids.