Thank you for my gift! Would you make me another ??
04-03-2013, 12:10 PM
#61
Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Genoa IL
Posts: 428
Originally Posted by Jan in VA
And the converse of that would be that since you know that she cooks, surely you don't have to! Wonder how that would sit? 
Jan in VA
Jan in VA
04-03-2013, 01:05 PM
#62
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 865
I worked with a woman, a doctor's wife, who knew I sewed. She got pregnant and I made her a quilt for her first child. She determined that, if I could quilt, I could mend and do alterations, and started bringing me her mending. I did the first batch, expecting that to be the end of it, and she wanted more, more, more. I was spending at least 50 percent of my free time doing her mending. So I gave her a machine and told her I would show her how. She kept trying to get me to do the mending and wanted her friends to also give me theirs, all for free. I gave her the names and numbers for several local paid alterations people. She invited me to parties and then told her friends that I was their sewing expert and gave good massages. She thought I should give massages during the party and sewing services later. I didn't, and stopped attending her parties.
These actions seemed to be normal in her culture, and no, I'd better not say which one that is. She took great delight in bragging how she and her husband, who could have easily afforded anything, manipulated merchants and others into selling an item for less than the merchant paid for it. When she invited me to her home for dinner, she then expected me to pay, to give her cash for the meal! She also wanted massages and many other services. At work, she expected me to cover for her when she took naps. Then she got pregnant again and wanted another quilt. She launched a massive manipulation campaign, involving herself and others, to get me to make it. This did not sit well with me. Never was there any offer of payment or even providing fabric, although she insisted on colors she wanted and wanted to pre-approve them. She insisted on coming to my home for lunch one day and brought her mending, after I told her not to, saying "This won't take you long." That was the end of that "friendship". She was a user whose greatest joy lay in manipulating others, and the harder they resisted, the better she liked it.
Now, if I am asked to do mending or sewing for someone and I don't want to, I just say that I have learned the hard way that it is not a good idea. I offer no further explanation.
These actions seemed to be normal in her culture, and no, I'd better not say which one that is. She took great delight in bragging how she and her husband, who could have easily afforded anything, manipulated merchants and others into selling an item for less than the merchant paid for it. When she invited me to her home for dinner, she then expected me to pay, to give her cash for the meal! She also wanted massages and many other services. At work, she expected me to cover for her when she took naps. Then she got pregnant again and wanted another quilt. She launched a massive manipulation campaign, involving herself and others, to get me to make it. This did not sit well with me. Never was there any offer of payment or even providing fabric, although she insisted on colors she wanted and wanted to pre-approve them. She insisted on coming to my home for lunch one day and brought her mending, after I told her not to, saying "This won't take you long." That was the end of that "friendship". She was a user whose greatest joy lay in manipulating others, and the harder they resisted, the better she liked it.
Now, if I am asked to do mending or sewing for someone and I don't want to, I just say that I have learned the hard way that it is not a good idea. I offer no further explanation.
Last edited by cricket_iscute; 04-03-2013 at 01:19 PM.
04-03-2013, 01:51 PM
#63
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Central VA
Posts: 413
Years ago when I was in the workforce a co-worker wanted me to make (knit) her a vest like I was wearing (I made all my vests). She wanted to know how much I would charge and I said $25.00 (back 20 years ago) and she told me that she could buy the same thing at a box store for $12.00 and I told her that she should go buy that one. She never asked me again about anything I wore that I hand made. Folks don't think about the time involved much less the yarn/fabric, etc. I quilt but don't sell any, they are gifted. People don't want to pay the price, so I make them and give them to family and friends or charity. Just my opinion!!!
04-03-2013, 05:56 PM
#64
Super Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,369
If I don't want to do it, I don't bother pricing it. I just say, "I'm sorry. I enjoyed making this for you but I don't do these things for profit and I have too many other irons in the fire to do more." If I think I might at a later date, I'll say that, too. But I make no promiss.
I think it's okay of people to ask if you're willing to make another (or a dozen) of something you've given, but they should also understand if you say no. I've mentioned here before, I think, that I did this with my DIL who asked me to "help" her make a jewel case for her boss and then had the idea of mass producing the things (she doesn't sew so who do you think would be making them?) I made the one as a favor for her but had no interest in going into business and said so. (To think I used to be so non-assertive I couldn't say these things! I've come a long way! Maybe too far!
)
I think it's okay of people to ask if you're willing to make another (or a dozen) of something you've given, but they should also understand if you say no. I've mentioned here before, I think, that I did this with my DIL who asked me to "help" her make a jewel case for her boss and then had the idea of mass producing the things (she doesn't sew so who do you think would be making them?) I made the one as a favor for her but had no interest in going into business and said so. (To think I used to be so non-assertive I couldn't say these things! I've come a long way! Maybe too far!
)
04-03-2013, 06:00 PM
#65
Super Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,369
Originally Posted by cricket_iscute
I worked with a woman, a doctor's wife, who knew I sewed. She got pregnant and I made her a quilt for her first child. She determined that, if I could quilt, I could mend and do alterations, and started bringing me her mending. I did the first batch, expecting that to be the end of it, and she wanted more, more, more. I was spending at least 50 percent of my free time doing her mending. So I gave her a machine and told her I would show her how. She kept trying to get me to do the mending and wanted her friends to also give me theirs, all for free. I gave her the names and numbers for several local paid alterations people. She invited me to parties and then told her friends that I was their sewing expert and gave good massages. She thought I should give massages during the party and sewing services later. I didn't, and stopped attending her parties.
These actions seemed to be normal in her culture, and no, I'd better not say which one that is. She took great delight in bragging how she and her husband, who could have easily afforded anything, manipulated merchants and others into selling an item for less than the merchant paid for it. When she invited me to her home for dinner, she then expected me to pay, to give her cash for the meal! She also wanted massages and many other services. At work, she expected me to cover for her when she took naps. Then she got pregnant again and wanted another quilt. She launched a massive manipulation campaign, involving herself and others, to get me to make it. This did not sit well with me. Never was there any offer of payment or even providing fabric, although she insisted on colors she wanted and wanted to pre-approve them. She insisted on coming to my home for lunch one day and brought her mending, after I told her not to, saying "This won't take you long." That was the end of that "friendship". She was a user whose greatest joy lay in manipulating others, and the harder they resisted, the better she liked it.
Now, if I am asked to do mending or sewing for someone and I don't want to, I just say that I have learned the hard way that it is not a good idea. I offer no further explanation.
These actions seemed to be normal in her culture, and no, I'd better not say which one that is. She took great delight in bragging how she and her husband, who could have easily afforded anything, manipulated merchants and others into selling an item for less than the merchant paid for it. When she invited me to her home for dinner, she then expected me to pay, to give her cash for the meal! She also wanted massages and many other services. At work, she expected me to cover for her when she took naps. Then she got pregnant again and wanted another quilt. She launched a massive manipulation campaign, involving herself and others, to get me to make it. This did not sit well with me. Never was there any offer of payment or even providing fabric, although she insisted on colors she wanted and wanted to pre-approve them. She insisted on coming to my home for lunch one day and brought her mending, after I told her not to, saying "This won't take you long." That was the end of that "friendship". She was a user whose greatest joy lay in manipulating others, and the harder they resisted, the better she liked it.
Now, if I am asked to do mending or sewing for someone and I don't want to, I just say that I have learned the hard way that it is not a good idea. I offer no further explanation.
04-03-2013, 06:06 PM
#66
Super Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,369
Originally Posted by reginalovesfabric
let me tell this story, many many years ago when I was in high school most people didn't have much to do with me, this one girl spread rumors about me after school....fast forward 40 years I saw her at walmart and she hugged me like I was her long lost friend, in the conversation, what have you been up to, I mentioned quilting, she said oh I want a king size quilt, NOT my answer was I'll put her on the list.
04-03-2013, 06:14 PM
#67
Super Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,369
Originally Posted by ArtsyOne
Oh dear - it's harder to say no when it's your child. I made a retro-style apron for one daughter for christmas. As it was opened, the other daughter squealed "Oh, I want one too!". Her birthday was a couple of weeks ago and I presented her with her apron. Now she says her husband would be so thrilled to have one for his birthday too. Apparently I'm out of the quilt-making business and into making aprons now.
I admit I have no recourse against my children. If they want it, they usually get it. But one to a customer, even then. I try to avoid getting used anymore, even by those I love.
04-03-2013, 06:21 PM
#68
Super Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,369
Originally Posted by Cogito
I have a sister I love with all my heart! She is an artist and while she does beautiful work, she is mostly known locally. However, she does ask hefty prices for her artwork. I am not a huge fan of art you hang on the wall but a few years back I purchased one of her pieces at a showing and she gave me a family discount but it still cost me $500! The size is about 12" square. Now I only did this to be supportive of her and honestly, it was painful. Well.....she had been harassing me for some time about when was I gonna make her a quilt? She started saying it in front of others something like: "well she keeps promising me a quilt but I never see it!" then she lost most of her belongings in a house fire and I finally got around to making her the quilt. I gave it to her and I did intend it as a gift but to this day I have been upset buy the fact she just took it and said "thanks". It is as if she is the artist and what I do is just for play!
She will go on and on about the time and money she puts in her artwork and that she deserves to be compensated for it. I wonder if she has any idea of the time and money ($400) I put into making her quilt! I had to pay the long armer since I don't do that. I know she has to have some idea because of her own work, but for some reason, mine doesn't count...... Anyway, thanks for letting me vent, this has sooo bothered me!
She will go on and on about the time and money she puts in her artwork and that she deserves to be compensated for it. I wonder if she has any idea of the time and money ($400) I put into making her quilt! I had to pay the long armer since I don't do that. I know she has to have some idea because of her own work, but for some reason, mine doesn't count...... Anyway, thanks for letting me vent, this has sooo bothered me!
At some point, if I were you, I'd find a gentle, non-confrontational way to let her know how I feel. Maybe you can tell her a story about "someone" who had a similar experience. Otherwise, it festers, I know.
04-03-2013, 07:07 PM
#69
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 714
I agree with everyone in regards to making things for others. I make things for people I really care about or for charity but I don't make things for others to make money. They can't afford to pay what I would want to make it. It takes all the fun out of it. I did this for many years with counted cross stitch and decided never again when I started quilting. I want to enjoy my hobby and have fun and do things to give away to someone who will appreciated it and never know who was kind enough to do it for someone else. Just my opinion. If I wanted a job I could go to work and make more money - not interested in making money.
04-03-2013, 09:17 PM
#70
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: IL, USA
Posts: 376
I say "sorry, I only make things for myself, friends, and family. I don't sell my handcrafts." I made some hot and cold ice bags as holiday gifts for work mates and a lady posted to my blog she wanted to buy some in animals shapes for children. I said, "great idea, but sorry not in the business." I think that would suck the joy out of it for me. I have a arm's length worth of project to do and no time, for things I'm not interested in.
Thread
Thread Starter
Forum
Replies
Last Post
CarolinePaj
General Chit-Chat (non-quilting talk)
59
09-07-2011 04:46 PM
