What to do with a handmade wedding gift?
05-30-2014, 10:19 AM
#61
Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 357
I don't think there is a right answer to this question. We quilters put just as much love into a quilt as we make it as we do time and money. Me, personally, I hang on to any homemade thing someone makes for me. It does not matter if it is my taste, or in my color scheme. They made it with love for me. Someday, I will use it or treasure it because that person is no longer with me. I have become more careful with the quilts I give as presents. I gave a quilt to my second cousin for graduation, I also had him as a student. He was very happy to have a quilt that someone made for him. I also have a niece who is graduating. I will send her money. She is very picky and a little on the spoiled side. So I will avoid a possible uncomfortable situation. Perhaps with a few life lessons, she will appreciate it later on in life.
05-30-2014, 01:17 PM
#62
Super Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: East Arkansas
Posts: 2,534
I have some hand made chicken scratch pillow cases my aunt gave me when I got married and I wouldn't part with them for anything in the world. She also made a set for my mother and she gave them to my daughter after she got married and she had them in a YARD SALE. I rescued 'em. Don't use them often but I remember Aunt Rena every time I see them. I've had them 60 years.
05-30-2014, 01:23 PM
#63
Super Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Horseheads, NY 14845
Posts: 4,025
Originally Posted by Auntie V
I would be hurt if I found out that a quilt I made as a wedding gift for a niece or daughter was passed on to a stranger. If they don't like it I would prefer they come to me and let me make them something else and then choose who the first quilt went to.
05-30-2014, 02:12 PM
#64
Super Member
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Here and there
Posts: 1,669
This is the reason I never give handmade items to anyone except my daughter, son in law, granddaughter, and brother and sister in law. Other recipients don't like them, feel burdened by them, don't like me and the item reminds them of that. The question now is how to dispose of the gifts without hurting the donor, a task that I don't believe you can do. However, if you must get rid of these items, offer to exchange them for a gift card or something else impersonal instead of another hand made item. Give them back to the makers, who may have liked them so well they hated to give them up. froggyintexas
05-30-2014, 06:28 PM
#65
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Central Florida
Posts: 830
When I give one of my quilts away as a gift to family or friends, I also give up the right to tell them what to do with it. If I gave a purchased gift that didn't fit or was the wrong color, I wouldn't expect them to keep it just because I took the time to shop for them. Maybe I'm just weird that way. Besides, I'd rather have someone get some use out of my quilts than have them just taking up shelf space forever.
05-30-2014, 06:45 PM
#66
Super Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Arizona
Posts: 5,578
Originally Posted by kaelynangelfoot
Okay ladies & gentlemen, I would like to thank you all for your thoughts and ideas. I really appreciate that no one was critical or harsh with me. The reason this came up was that I am in a phase of my life right now where I need to get rid of clutter. I've been packing up and donating unused items (clothes I haven't worn in years, duplicate kitchen items from when my grandparents passed away, etc). I came across the blankets while cleaning and they met my "unused"
However, my husband has decided that he wants to use the crochet afghan as a TV blanket, so it is now in our living room AND IS ACTUALLY GETTING USED!
I will probably be getting rid of a different, unsentimental blanket instead.
And the quilt I spread out on my bed and flipped it over, something which in all the hustle and bustle of the wedding I had apparently never done and I read the label my great aunt made. She named the quilt "A New Beginning" and included the date and location of the wedding. I have decided to keep the quilt and have vacuum sealed it in a space bag for storage in my cedar chest. Maybe someday I will redecorate our bedroom from maroon and pale gold and will want a pink and purple quilt.
However, my husband has decided that he wants to use the crochet afghan as a TV blanket, so it is now in our living room AND IS ACTUALLY GETTING USED!
I will probably be getting rid of a different, unsentimental blanket instead.And the quilt I spread out on my bed and flipped it over, something which in all the hustle and bustle of the wedding I had apparently never done and I read the label my great aunt made. She named the quilt "A New Beginning" and included the date and location of the wedding. I have decided to keep the quilt and have vacuum sealed it in a space bag for storage in my cedar chest. Maybe someday I will redecorate our bedroom from maroon and pale gold and will want a pink and purple quilt.
I read the whole thread and just like a good book I was happy to read to the end and found that you had made your decision...glad you worked it through
Judy in Phx, AZ
05-30-2014, 07:43 PM
#67
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Wichita Falls, TX
Posts: 640
Many years ago I made a quilt for my SIL's young niece when she went to live with them. Less than a year later the niece went back to live with her mother. My SIL gave the quilt away to a charity (Goodwill or something like that). I would much rather had the quilt returned, or at least offered. I had other relatives who would have loved the quilt. I understand that when a gift is given it is the recipient's to do with as she pleases. However, I was disappointed it meant so little to her and would have rather had it back.
05-30-2014, 07:57 PM
#68
Super Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Oak Grove, MN
Posts: 1,671
I was put into this position a few years ago and I felt very hurt that my mother did not want to keep the afghan, cross-stitched picture, and quilt that I made for her. When I went to the estate sale I found the items I spent many hours making being sold for $1-$3. What was even worse I found out that she kept afghans that others made for her because of who gave them to her. She keeps asking me to make her a lap quilt, and I honestly have to say I have no desire to do so and no plans on making her one.
05-31-2014, 03:45 AM
#69
Super Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: dayton OH
Posts: 1,911
i understand how you feel - getting something that isn't something you're in love with. That's why I don't make something as involved and expensive as a quilt without having input and say from the recipient.
I will also admit to having some items that I am holding on to til "mom no longer comes to visit"
I will also admit to having some items that I am holding on to til "mom no longer comes to visit"
05-31-2014, 04:03 AM
#70
Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Las Cruces, NM
Posts: 751
I make quilts that aren't in my decour or regular taste but I put them all on the quilt rack and they all get used. Even the pink and white one. My family doesn't care about the design when they are cold. Personally I would put it to good use or give it back. Yes once someone gives you something it's yours but you know how much went into that quilt.
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