Am I being to sensitive??
07-15-2011, 02:51 PM
#83
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Newalla, Oklahoma
Posts: 632
OMG! How sad! I feel your pain! People who do not sew or quilt have NO IDEA how much work and emotion goes into a quilt! I understand completely.
Vanessa in Oklahoma
www.pineneedles4.wordpress.com
Vanessa in Oklahoma
www.pineneedles4.wordpress.com
07-15-2011, 02:52 PM
#84
Super Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: 53 degrees North
Posts: 1,679
This is a fascinating thread for me because we don't have baby showers. They don't exist in my culture. So I am already thinking that hosting a party for the sole purpose of receiving gifts for a baby that you don't even get to see yet, and inviting some fairly distant connections (sorry) and then telling them your 'theme' (we don't do that either).... Well, I am already thinking THAT is odd, so I have to work against that to give a view on a situation which I know is in fact quite normal in other places.
But I do think that someone who has a 'theme' for a baby is perhaps less likely to appreciate handmade. In the unlikely event of my ever being invited to such a party, I would not have been changing the design of my already started, precious, made with love, quilt, I would have been keeping it for someone who would appreciate it and making a stuffed monkey instead.
As to what happened, this woman's husband called your precious work 'another blanket'. This tells us that this man forgot his manners in a big way. We also don't have the culture of opening gifts in front of people, or at least not in front of people other than the person who gave it to you. A gift represents a personal, even intimate, interaction and to have it dealt with in public always risks offense, as your situation demonstrates very well.
If I was the expectant mother, I would be totally overwhelmed in this situation. In fact, I can pretty much guarantee that I would be crying in my room, for all sorts of reasons. She is hormonal, on show, and being showered with gifts that her husband is not even letting her see properly as he jumps up and down on this box you mention- meanwhile she is facing worries about her unborn baby and the delivery. It sounds like hell on earth! How will she even know who gave what?!
I think the expectant grandmother's reaction to that fleece has hurt you a lot too. Is this woman's child married to your child? Then she needs to treat you with respect, and she didn't. (Who made that fleece? Was it one of her buddies? )
Just call me Dr Phil..... but this is not about the quilt. Families are hard. I totally understand why you feel bad, but that shower sounds like a situation where there are lots of forces at play that really are not about the quilt, so try not to make it about you. I hope you have a good relationship with your son in law and maybe having good relations with all his extended family is just too much to hope for, through no fault of yours. It is what it is.
But I do think that someone who has a 'theme' for a baby is perhaps less likely to appreciate handmade. In the unlikely event of my ever being invited to such a party, I would not have been changing the design of my already started, precious, made with love, quilt, I would have been keeping it for someone who would appreciate it and making a stuffed monkey instead.
As to what happened, this woman's husband called your precious work 'another blanket'. This tells us that this man forgot his manners in a big way. We also don't have the culture of opening gifts in front of people, or at least not in front of people other than the person who gave it to you. A gift represents a personal, even intimate, interaction and to have it dealt with in public always risks offense, as your situation demonstrates very well.
If I was the expectant mother, I would be totally overwhelmed in this situation. In fact, I can pretty much guarantee that I would be crying in my room, for all sorts of reasons. She is hormonal, on show, and being showered with gifts that her husband is not even letting her see properly as he jumps up and down on this box you mention- meanwhile she is facing worries about her unborn baby and the delivery. It sounds like hell on earth! How will she even know who gave what?!
I think the expectant grandmother's reaction to that fleece has hurt you a lot too. Is this woman's child married to your child? Then she needs to treat you with respect, and she didn't. (Who made that fleece? Was it one of her buddies? )
Just call me Dr Phil..... but this is not about the quilt. Families are hard. I totally understand why you feel bad, but that shower sounds like a situation where there are lots of forces at play that really are not about the quilt, so try not to make it about you. I hope you have a good relationship with your son in law and maybe having good relations with all his extended family is just too much to hope for, through no fault of yours. It is what it is.
07-15-2011, 03:43 PM
#86
Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Born in NYC, but living in CT
Posts: 761
Your quilt is beautiful, I hope that this baby pays back his mom rudness of this wonderful treasure that you have given him, by keeping it as his one and only farvorit blanket that gives him comfort..
07-15-2011, 03:57 PM
#87
Super Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 1,325
Don't feel bad at all....
Sometimes in families or groups of people that get together quite often, you will notice that there are those that require more attention over their items than others. And I mean "require it". They get outwardly all upset, make a big tadoo over no one commenting. Where there are others who are more passive about. So therefore, everyone in the group plays up to the person that they know is going to "require" the attention. I've watched this many times over the years. So don't feel bad, its a real cuet quilt. And they will get lots of compliments when others see it. Plus, it was a gift from your heart. You can never go wrong there.
Sometimes in families or groups of people that get together quite often, you will notice that there are those that require more attention over their items than others. And I mean "require it". They get outwardly all upset, make a big tadoo over no one commenting. Where there are others who are more passive about. So therefore, everyone in the group plays up to the person that they know is going to "require" the attention. I've watched this many times over the years. So don't feel bad, its a real cuet quilt. And they will get lots of compliments when others see it. Plus, it was a gift from your heart. You can never go wrong there.
07-15-2011, 04:01 PM
#88
Super Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: The Finger Lakes of upstate NY
Posts: 3,446
I think it's darling - love how you worked their theme in. they might find it's more flexible - the blue is more "boy" than the baby animals (which is more "baby"). This will be something he can enjoy beyond the baby year.
07-15-2011, 04:27 PM
#90
Super Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Idaho
Posts: 1,510
It's so cute and you accomodated their wishes...and did the extra stuff too...hopefully, they will acknowledge how much they really like it....when they use it, they will get many compliments....no, you are not too sensitive...you did a really good job...:)
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