I had two nephews, twins, born early, one died yesterday. I had started to make a wall hanging of Noah's ark with "They come two by two". Would you still give it or would you just make another wall hanging not mentioning the little boy that died??
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I think that might be too sad right now.
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Probably something else. On the other hand, 2 did come! You just cant predict how the mom will take either one. She could be sad OR mad that you left the other one out. Maybe wait awhile and see how she deals with the situation.
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oooh.... tough one.....
i don't know what the right answer is...... do what your heart tells you to do... |
I would still make it. I have a friend that lost one of her twins (they were born at 27 weeks) and she said that the thing that hurt the most was that people didn't acknowledge the baby that died. She believed that they were doing it because they didn't want to cause her additional pain or upset. The fact of the matter is that the other baby did exist and is loved as much as the one that survived.
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Wait a while, then give her the Noah's ark....she did have two babies, and from my own experience it's normal to want to include the memory of the other who is not here now. We know a family who lost a 2 yo girl to drowning, and their other children were told she now lives in heaven, and they all talk about her all the time.
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I would make sure there was a wonderful rainbow and one dove flying. I agree with the others to go with your feelings and knowledge of the mother. It does not need to be a surprise.
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I would go for the Noah's Arc. You need to talk to the mother, I think it is very important to acknowledge the other child that passed away.
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My condolences to the mother and father. My thoughts are to continue the quilt and do a memorial of the baby in that quilt as a rememberance for the mother. My heart is sad for them.
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Thanks everyone. I will finish it and hold off to see how things go. I did ask my brother (grandfather) if he would want to cut several locks of hair to put in lockets for the mother and grandmothers to give later, and one for the dad for his wallet. That too will have to wait (the giving), but I'm sure, knowing the parents will appreciate it later.
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