Tothill

With Respect, you need to let go of control. You do not need to bring you whole kitchen over. You need to follow her lead. She has asked you to provide two dishes, not to take over her kitchen.

Did you grand daughter ask you to supply the dishes, wine glasses, and silverware? When I 'took over' the big meals I rented dishes. Inexpensive, no washing required and came with table linen too.

Sweet potatoes can be cooked in your oven and brought over while hot. Cover with foil, wrap in towels and put in a cooler. The insulation will keep it nice and hot. If you need to pop it in the over for a few minutes just before serving that is ok.

I always cook the stuffing the in bird, but that you could do in a crock pot and bring the whole thing over.

NZquilter

This will be my first time hosting Thanksgiving for the family. My MIL is generally the hostess but because we have a baby I told her that this year traveling will be harder for us. So the family is coming down instead. I'll be keeping it pretty simple. I'll be making a turkey with the stuffing, gravy, baked potatoes (the family doesn't really care for the traditional sweet potatoes) peas, (I know! But the family loves peas!!) and cranberry sause. My MIL will be bringing the pies. I appreciate my MIL letting go and letting us start our own traditions as a new family. I'm trying my best not to over complicate things as I think that's where everything will mess up.

If the young folks aren't given a chance or taught how to host these holidays, the traditions and feasts will die with the next generation. We will all be simply ordering our holiday turkeys from Dillon's instead!

bearisgray

Simple(r) can be elegant and classy.

Anniedeb

It must be the year of change! We have always hosted Thanksgiving. Last Monday my DS came over and said that he and his wife would like to host this year. So on Friday we went to their house to meet and coordinate responsibilities. We are bringing two turkeys. One for the oven, and one to be deep fried. Also the stuffing, cranberries, gravy, rolls, sweet potatoes, dip and pre dinner snacks! (Have to eat during the football games) Also pickles/olives and the wine. They are doing the potatoes, green bean casserole, and desserts. DH and I chuckled quite a bit on the way home. They only live 3 miles from us. Hubby said "Looks like we'll be driving the truck!"

quiltingcandy

My eldest daughter wanted to do Thanksgiving dinner her first year in her condo. I was thrilled to relinquish the job - however, I had to take so much to her place and then do most of the cooking. After that it is back to my house - she didn't have the room for everyone either so it was a nice attempt but she felt it was more work than fun.

zozee

Geri, I'm sure you're struggling with not being the hostess, as that in itself is a tradition many of us enjoy. But the truth is, you aren't responsible to coordinate it this year, your GD is. I agree with the advice to tell her you'll bring or do "whatever" but she will have to ask you. She may well surprise you. My DIL wanted to host T'giv last year and I was okay with it. (Normally my house is command central.) Actually better than okay with it because it was sweet watching her in action with my son.

We all learn by doing. My mom, in her wisdom, passed the Thanksgiving baton to me about 10 years ago. At first I balked because it was a change of tradition. But she wanted us to learn to let go of her gradually, I think, and be independently capable of being the matriarch.

I learned to enjoy making new traditions, starting with paper goods instead of her china. Granted, hers was pretty and traditional, but --good grief--she refused to put it in the dishwasher, and guess who got stuck handwashing. THe four of us girls! Not a fun way to end a long day at all.

Fast forward to this year. It's our first one without Mama. She died in June. I'm already feeling waves of grief hitting again as Thanksgiving approaches. Since she gave me wings 10 years ago to be the chief cook and hostess, that part is second nature. Imagine if she had been hostess till this year, and I was left reeling from her loss PLUS expected to carry on logisitically this ginormous holiday event.

This year will be a new thing. But my dad, who lives alone (they were married 55.5 years) wants to host (as in have us gather us at his place to eat) because he doesn't know how many more times he will be able to . We are gathering on Sunday . It's my sister's 50th b'day and she's coming in from KY. Her first b'day without Mama. And Daddy's first b'day w/o her is on the 28th, so we are probably gonna have some tears, but at least we will share our sorrow together, while remembering her. He did say he wants us to use some of her pretty serving dishes if we aren't going to use the china place settings. I definitely want to do that.

And by the way, my sister is bringing a coffee pot since he doesn't drink it and she will be there a week and MUST have it. LOL

Try to enjoy the changes as a break from responsibilities, and look forward to being a guest. She will appreciate your willingness to help if you resist the temptation to take the reins. And years from now, she will be very grateful that she learned sooner rather than later what it means to be Thanksgiving Hostess.

Annaquilts

Sounds like fun! I am jealous, I would love to have it some where else. I would cook everything at home and then bring the sweet potatoes and stuffing in round glass casserole dishes with a lid. This way you can microwave it. Better check if they have a microwave or if it can go in the oven. If you bring wine I would bring plastic wine glasses. Yeah the bringing the dishes thing would not be my thing. I might just leave those behind for next year. LOL It does sound like it will be real pretty.

ShirlR

JJBlaine, what a lovely, kind and wise post - so very nice!

Aurora

Can't help. I would probably take half my kitchen. Mother and I just go to Cracker Barrel. We have done this for the past 7 to 8 years.

sewvicki

Ask your granddaughter to come to your house to pick up the dishes, silverware, and other items that are not food related. She probably has no idea how much "stuff" goes into preparing a dinner for a large family. If you're lucky, she will return it after the big day too.