CharlotteO

I was talking to my 89 year old mother last night, She is pretty sharp. I mentioned that she would get something in the mail on Monday, she said "There is no mail on Monday, it is King Arthur's day" . She knew she was wrong and was laughing about Martin Luther Kings day.

tate_elliott

When I was growing up, there was a piece of furniture with drawers in the upstairs hallway that we kept odds and ends in. When I was around 8 years old, I asked my mother, "Who's Chester?" She said, "You mean on Gunsmoke?" I said, "No, the one who gave us the Chester drawers." My mother looked at me and said very slowly, "It's a - chest - of - drawers."

I told this story to a friend of mine and he said that he had also asked his mother the same question but, "I hate to admit, I was a lot older than 8 when I asked."

This next one isn't one I said, but it fits in with the "funny things you say in your sleep." Twice I've woken myself (and my wife, Betty) up because I was laughing at a dream. My wife wonders about me. But I remind her that when we were dating, her mother warned me that, "When Betty was little, I used to feed her silly soup." That's probably why I married her.

Tate

drgranny

My mom used to day con-da-moan-e-um. When we were looking for a parking place she would point out where the crippled children parking places were. (handicaped)

My first husband had trouble pronouncing words that were larger than 2 sylabuls(sp) He would say hip-mo-potamus. I used to tell him that I was perturbed. When he said it, it came out purturrs.

When I would take my parents to wal-mart (they were in their 80's) my dad would find a bench to sit on. He called it the "dead pecker" bench. I love all of these! Have gotten lots of laughs!!

QuiltedCritterLady

I've got one I'll bet no one's heard of. My grandfather had his own term for goofing around. Whenever he wanted to get the kids to settle down he'd say, "You guys cut out that monkey-farting!"

QuiltedCritterLady

Funny. I remember hearing that one too, but with the next line after:

"If wishes were horses then beggars could ride."
"And if turnips were watches I'd wear one by my side."

TanyaL

" 'dead pecker' bench" is the funniest thing I have heard in a long time.!

Ellen

I'm still laughing over that one.....and wiping tears off my face. Had to share with DH....he always heads for that bench to people watch. Oh gosh, too funny.

JanieW

Before I retired I used to work with special needs kids. When we did life skills they could pick the menu and prepare what they chose for lunch. One day when we were planning what to have so we could go shopping, one little guy wanted grouchy sandwiches. I didn't know what to put on the grocery list. He was getting frustrated so a classmate finally told me, "he really wants grilled cheese sandwiches"!

When my now 37 year old son was little, we were getting ready to go out when I noticed and informed him that his shoes were on the wrong feet. He looked up and said, "they're the only feet I have"

Kehoeta

My DH has two things he says that just crack me up.... When he is working on a project and it finally starts going right - he says "She's coming to her milk".

And - anytime someone asks him how he's doing, his reply is, "If I were any better, I couldn't stand it. "

damaquilts

When ever anything is surprising or special my stepmother says. OH My Glory !!!! It just isn't the same typing it as hearing her say it. She drags out the words in her own special way. And she has a Fibber McGees closet too. we call it a junk room .