behavior problem question
01-08-2011, 02:55 PM
#111
Super Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: central Indiana
Posts: 1,166
No, I do not think your punishment was unreasonable. And, as a former 2nd grade teacher (28 years of it), I can tell you that 8 year olds DO have a concept of money. And, 8 year olds DO know right from wrong. It appears he did this deliberately so he should have to give something up. Not only would I have him make monetary restitution, I would also take away one of his favoritey Xmas gifts until such time as he has paid for his brother's gift.
01-08-2011, 02:56 PM
#112
Super Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Manhattan, Kansas
Posts: 2,160
Well, in our family "house rules" take precedence--when you are at grandma's HER rules apply--my children learned this very early and we have carried it through with my grandchildren. Kids learn very quickly what is acceptable under which circumstances. If the parents want to let him break his brother's toys, just tell them, NOT at my house. I think you handled it well. I just don't understand "he will get it back" WHY do you feel you should give him back his money. It seems to me that negates the point of the punishment???
01-08-2011, 04:22 PM
#115
Super Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Myrtle Beach, SC
Posts: 8,103
We have a saying in our family:
My house, my rules. Your house, your rules.
If this happened in your home, your rules prevail. Your grandson needed to learn about consequences.
If it happened in his home, then his parents are responsible for whatever action was/is taken.
My house, my rules. Your house, your rules.
If this happened in your home, your rules prevail. Your grandson needed to learn about consequences.
If it happened in his home, then his parents are responsible for whatever action was/is taken.
01-08-2011, 04:30 PM
#117
Super Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 1,143
YOU did the right thing!!!!!!!!! HE has to know he can not do that. Doesnt matter if he is mad. He cant go around breaking toys or anything. He needs to learn. You did right. The family should be on your side. helping him learn not to do it. So dont be upset at yourself. you did RIGHT.
01-08-2011, 04:31 PM
#118
Super Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Myrtle Beach, SC
Posts: 8,103
Originally Posted by joan_quilts
DS #1 failed 2 classes in his 7th grade year by 2 points. WHY? He wouldn't do his homework! He got a job doing hay work and had to help pay for his summer courses. We didn't fail, he did, and he learned real quick that it all costs something.
We weren't being too hard, we were teaching them that either the play by the rules or they have to pay. Middle son got caught with cigs on school property. He had to go to court and had to pay $162 fine. He paid it, not us. He didn't do that again!
None of our boys have ever been in real trouble, they work and understand that in life you have to take responsibility for you actions.
You did the right thing as far as I am concerned.
01-08-2011, 05:06 PM
#119
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Manitoba
Posts: 383
Absolutely you were not too tough on him. I actually would have made him pay more than you did without a chance of earning the money back. At eight years hold, he KNEW what he was doing so I think he is old enough for the consequences. He might be mad about it but in his heart of hearts he will know that you are being totally fair and I would be willing to bet that you will see a great improvement in his behaviour. Kids are very tuned into what is fair and you were! Stick to your guns, I think you did the right thing.
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